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September 30, 2005
Slashdot Saga
[This relates to some very ancient history but as a friend of the engineer who took the blame, I always thought he got the raw end of the deal....]
There was movement at the office, for the word had got around;
The boss was reading Slashdot and a culprit must be found.
We had bought some dodgy servers from a good source that we knew;
He had to shift them quickly for the budgets, they were due.
He shut the servers down and packed them in a truck,
The data was still there but he didn't give a f___.
We pulled apart the servers to extract the useful bits,
We found the users data and collapsed in laughing fits.
One engineer recovered long enough to write it down,
He put it on a website on the other side of town.
Slashdot picked up the story which the geeks all quite enjoyed,
But the source was real unhappy and the boss was quite annoyed.
The hunt was on to find a scapegoat to be blamed,
That the source had failed his job, could never be explained.
"The story must be killed, before it gets around",
The major league reporters had their noses to the ground.
So the source and boss decided it was time to end the game,
The engineer who wrote it, is the one to take the blame.
Forget the primary failure, of the source who didn't care,
Didn't take a moment's trouble to remove the data there...
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 29, 2005
Assembly
Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 28, 2005
Mistress
Mistress, n:
Something between a mister and a mattress.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
September 27, 2005
Choices
So... if you could choose any nose in the whole wide world...
...which one would you pick?
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (2)
September 26, 2005
Trophy Wife
Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm, who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask,"Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "How'd you persuade her to marry you?"
Bob says, "I lied about my age."
His friends respond, "Ahh, you told her you were only 50."
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 95."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 25, 2005
Beer Drinking
[This gem from Theepan is to compensate for all the laughs I got from The Useless Boob joke which had my wife in stitches...]
Scientists for Health UK suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (as hops contain phytoeostrogens) and drinking it may turn men into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were given 6 pints of beer each to drink within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, refused to apologize when obviously wrong, and had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
September 24, 2005
Experience
If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.
-- Abigail Van Buren
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
When Promulgating...
Yesterday I was trying to dig up an old quote that I could sort-of recall to leave in a comment over at Tig's place. Given that it took so much digging I figured I should post it so that I can find it again next time :-)
See if you can translate it without looking at the extended entry for the solution :-)
When Promulgating Your Esoteric Cogitations
When promulgating your esoteric cogitations and articulating your amicable and philosophical observations beware of platitudinous ponderosity, and let your conversational communications possess a clarified conciseness and a compact comprehensibleness without coalescent consistency or a concatenated cogency.
Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement and asinine affectations and let your extemporaneous descantings have a voracious vivacity without rodomontade sagacity.
In other words, speak briefly, say what you mean, mean what you say, and above all don't use big words.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
September 23, 2005
Shared Car
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked in on the street between their establishments.
A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he ran out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied.
The rabbi considered this a moment, then said, "Oh," and ran back inside the synagogue. He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, ran to the back of the car and cut off the last two inches of the tailpipe.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 22, 2005
Special Kiss
[Found over at Read My Lips...]
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
Combining Solaris Patch Directories
Sometimes you might want to combined two patch directories. Imagine that you have a patch directory for say 9_Recommended and another directory for 9_SunAlert. You don't want to painfully sit through two patch runs, so why not combine them?
NOTE: I assume that you still have the original zipped downloads because I am going to trash one or both directories.
I start by renaming one directory so that I don't confuse it with a later download:
# mv 9_Recommended 9_Combined
Now I start fiddling in the 9_SunAlert directory:
# cd 9_SunAlert*
# for i in 1*
> do
> j=`echo $i | cut -c1-6`
> k=`echo $i | cut -c8-9`
> [ -d ../9_Combined/$j-* ] && l=`ls -d ../9_Combined/$j-* | cut -c22-23` && [ $l -ge $k ] && rm -rf ./$i && echo "Removed $i ($l)"
> done
Now you will only have left the patches that are in this build and not the other build. They can be relocated and you will need to merge the patch_order files - an exercise left for the student :-)
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM | Comments (2)
September 21, 2005
Born a duck?
Being born in a duck yard does not matter, if only you are hatched from a swan's egg.
- Hans Christian Anderson
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
September 20, 2005
The Haircut
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."
After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...."
To which his father replied, "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went!"
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 19, 2005
Ego
Ego: The fallacy whereby a gooseEagle thinks he's a Swan
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (2)
September 18, 2005
Questions and Answers
If Windows is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 17, 2005
Money
Money isn't everything -- but it's a long way ahead of what comes next.
-- Sir Edmond Stockdale
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 16, 2005
Rubik's Cube
Easiest Color to Solve on a Rubik's Cube: Black.
Simply remove all the little colored stickers on the cube, and each of side of the cube will now be the original color of the plastic underneath -- black. According to the instructions, this means the puzzle is solved.
-- Steve Rubenstein
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 15, 2005
BOFH: New Hires
Over at BOFH Central, the PHB is looking to hire a replacement in Beancounter Support (Computer Room Tourists). The third candidate is a little different:
"It's a girl!" the PFY gasps happily.
"A woman," I correct. "And don't get your hopes up - there's a reason why the geeky world is dominated by sad chunky guys with beards, glasses, BO and poor social skills..."
"But still!"
Hmmm. Career options for "sad chunky guys with beards, glasses, BO and poor social skills" ... at least I get to be dominant at something...
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 14, 2005
Backwards Compatible
At least Windblows Vista is backward compatible when it comes to crashing...
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (2)
September 13, 2005
The Princess and the Frog
[Found over at Cynical Cyn...]
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't freaking think so.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (2)
September 12, 2005
Moses vs the Bush
[Found over at Read My Lips...]
Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a white robe and sandals, and holding a staff.
President Bush went up to the man and said, "Aren't you Moses?"
The man never answered but just kept staring straight ahead. Again the President said, "Moses!" in a loud voice. The man just kept staring ahead, never answering the President. Bush pulled a Secret Service agent aside and pointing to the robed man asked him, "Doesn't that man look like Moses to you?" The Secret Service agent agreed.
"Well," said the President, "every time I say his name he just keeps staring straight ahead and refuses to speak. Watch!" Again the President yelled, "Moses!" and again the man stared ahead and didn't answer.
The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, "You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?"
The man leaned over and whispered back ."Yes, I am Moses. However, the last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East where there is no oil."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (2)
September 11, 2005
Perfect Happiness
For perfect happiness, remember two things:
(1) Be content with what you've got.
(2) Be sure you've got plenty.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 10, 2005
Oregonian Lightbulb
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
AP and Solaris
Q: You suggested installing Solaris 8 and AP - what's with that?
A: AP (Alternate Path) was an add-on which was originally for the E10K but it became part of the operating system. In fact it should be under the 'Additional Software' section of a normal installation (the all important list that contains SunVTS). So go ahead and install the package.
To make it work you need disks which are dual connected. This is normally true of fibre channel disks and in the case of the E5500 (mentioned in the article you linked to), you would normally do this via two I/O boards. Each I/O board has two fibre links - one to each of the two A5000s. This connections will be called sf:0 and sf:1 (first I/O board), sf:2 and sf:3 (second I/O board).
Step one, is to create some ap databases (just like SVM meta databases). Organise a few tracks in a partition on at least three disks over at least two controllers (sounds just like SVM). Let's say (for arguments sake) that we have c1t0, c1t1, c2t8 and c2t9 available (in this case, connected to a D1000) where our boot disk is installed. So do the following:
# apdb -c /dev/rdsk/c1t0d0s5
# apdb -c /dev/rdsk/c2t8d0s5
...
# apconfig -D
path: /dev/rdsk/c1t0d0s5
major: 32
minor: 125
timestamp: Thursday September 11 08:00:00 EST 2001
checksum: 2211089878
corrupt: No
inaccessible: No
...
Next we need to check what disks and controllers are available (note that the output has been edited):
# apinst
sf:0
/dev/dsk/c4t0d0
/dev/dsk/c4t1d0
sf:2
/dev/dsk/c7t1d0
/dev/dsk/c7t0d0
You should check that c7t0d0 and c4t0d0 are actually the same disk (hint: look at the WWN in format). Assuming that they are the same disk:
# apdisk -c -p sf:0 -a sf:2
# apconfig -S -u
c7 sf:2
c4 sf:0 P A
metadiskname(s):
mc4t1d0 U
mc4t0d0 U
# apdb -C
We start by telling the system that sf:0 and sf:2 are related. Then we check to see that apconfig knows about our new disks. Finally we commit the changes to the database.
From here on in, we can refer to our disk (which was c4t0d0 and also c7t0d0) as mc4t1d0. The system will use both of the real paths to get to the data.
Unlike STMS, the real paths do not vanish from view so be careful to switch all references to /dev/dsk over to /dev/ap/dsk by hand.
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM
September 09, 2005
Telstra Helldesk
[Rofl found the at Cynical Cyn and adapted it for Australian conditions....]
Mujibar was trying to get into the USA Australia legally through Immigration. The Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter the United States of America Australia.
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready."
The Officer said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you and works at a Verizon help desk. (or at the AOL help desk or the DELL help desk or you name it, he or his wife are there..........) for the Telstra Helldesk.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
TechTip: iTunes 5 installation
Q: I am trying to install iTunes 5 (via Software Update) and it keeps telling me to shut down iTunes. iTunes is not running....
A: Maybe you are using the excellent SizzlingKeys from YellowMug..... Go into the system preference panel for SizzlingKeys and shut it down (just for now). Close the annoying pop-up window that Software Update keeps opening and the installation will proceed as normal. If you have ticked 'Launch automatically' then SizzlingKeys will restart after you reboot.
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM
September 08, 2005
Poor Preacher
As the pastor shook hands with the congregation leaving the church, a little boy looked up with a closed fist and said, “Here, I have something for you.”
The pastor opened his hand and the little boy dropped a quarter in the pastor's hand.
Not wanting to hurt the boy's feelings he simply smiled and said, “Thank you.”
Well, it did not end, the next Sunday and the next -- the same thing.
Finally, the pastor could not take it any more; he had to know what was up. He called the boy aside and talked with him, “I really appreciate the gifts but why are you doing it?”
“Well,” said the boy, “I just wanted to help you --- my dad says you are the poorest preacher we have ever had.”
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
Solaris 9, STMS and A5000
Q: I have an E5500 with two A5000s connection [Ed: Standard config for E5500]. I have installed Solaris 9 and traffic manager, enabled STMS and rebooted. It don't work.
A: Yup. The available doco from Sun clearly suggests that the A5000 is supported. It is. But not via the onboard fcal interfaces installed on the E5500. If you connect the A5000 via fibre channel pci cards then they work as advertised. If you want to stay with the E5500 and the onboard interfaces, you need to either (a) give up on STMS or (b) go back to Solaris 8 and AP. Alternately, it may be possible to use 5200's instead of 5000's.
This issue has been raised on the Sun Forum...
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM
September 07, 2005
Famous Writers
An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the Israel Philharmonic.
He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the building. Finally he turned to his escort and asked if the building was named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author.
"No," his friend said, "it's named for Irving Mann, from Philadelphia."
"Really? I never heard of him. What did he write?"
"A check".
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
Ethernet Devices (Solaris)
Q: I want to configure my ethernet port, what is it called?
A: You need to run ifconfig xx0 plumb where xx0 refers to your specific network hardware. There are a couple of permutations you need to try: ba, bge, ce, dmfe, eri, ge, hme, idn, le, nf, qe, qfe, qge, vge :-)
Seriously hme is the most common (except on the 280R which is eri) 100Mbit interface. ge and ce both appear as common Gigabit interfaces.
Note (in passing) that ce cards have a special set of problems all to themselves which relate to the impossibility of setting card-wide or system-wide parameters....
Oh, and having decided that was all too hard, try checking out this script: ndd-conf.sh from Sun's BigAdmin site.
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM
September 06, 2005
Good Sale
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"
"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked.
"That's the one!"
"That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
OpenSSH 4.2p1
Get yours while it's hot....
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM
September 05, 2005
Fishing
"So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband."
"Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon.
"All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching the most fish!"
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 04, 2005
Beer is Better than a Man
10 Reasons Why a Beer is Better Than a Man:
1. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
2. A beer won't think less of you if you can't name the Steelers' quarterback.
3. A beer won't even act amazed if you can.
4. You don't have to let a beer win.
5. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to sleep with it, too.
6. A beer helps with the houswork.
7. A beer will never fumble with your bra.
8. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
9. A beer doesn't want you to raise its children.
10. A beer doesn't even know how to use a TV remote.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 03, 2005
Social Science
The only possible interpretation of any research whatever in the 'social sciences' is: some do, some don't.
-- Ernest Rutherford
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 02, 2005
Descartes
"I don't think so," said Rene Descartes. Just then, he vanished.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
September 01, 2005
What is Eggnog?
Eggnog is a traditional holiday drink invented by the English. Many people wonder where the word "eggnog" comes from. The first syllable comes from the English word "egg", meaning "egg". I don't know where the "nog" comes from.
To make eggnog, you'll need rum, whiskey, wine, gin and, if they are in season, eggs...
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
SVM / SDS numbering
SVM* (Solaris Volume Manager) is a pretty impressive bundle given that it comes free with Solaris. In fact it has almost** all the advantages of Veritas Volume Manager except for one small niggling issue - the device name / numbering limitation. You can only have 128 devices.
This sounds a lot but the traditional naming convention (d10 has children d11 and d12, d20 has children d21 and d22, ...) does not use the numbers very efficiently. You can work around this by using other schemes but the hassle is finding a scheme that is both obvious and easy - that way, tired sysadmins are less likely to make a mistake.
One alternative is to use parent/children combinations like: d30 -> d130, d230 (which reads as mirror d30 has a first submirror (d130) and a second submirror (d230)). The problem is the old 128 device limit.
Well it turns out that there is an easy fix for that. Grab your favourite editor (vi of course) and open up /kernel/drv/md.conf. Find the reference to nmd and change the value to something bigger (like 300). You now need to reboot your server....
Problem solved :-)
[* Formerly known as SDS (Sun Disk Suite).]
[** For a comparison, check out DiskSuite vs Volume Manager.]
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM