## July 26, 2005

### More than 100%

Ever been asked to contribute more than 100% - especially in a work situation? Well, Cynical Cyn has done the maths to show it might be possible...

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and knowledge will get you close, and, Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top.

Posted by Peskie at July 26, 2005 12:00 PM

BLUDGE = 2 + 12 + 21 + 4 + 7 + 5 = 51%

Posted by: Rofl at July 28, 2005 10:48 AM

Actually I think one of your sums is wrong. The last one is 127 not 118.

Posted by: Rofl at July 28, 2005 11:05 AM

Actually Rofl, you are right. I wrote a program to check :-)

./value.pl Bludge Hardwork Knowledge Attitude Bullshit AssKissing
Bludge = 2 + 12 + 21 + 4 + 7 + 5 = 51
Hardwork = 8 + 1 + 18 + 4 + 23 + 15 + 18 + 11 = 98
Knowledge = 11 + 14 + 15 + 23 + 12 + 5 + 4 + 7 + 5 = 96
Attitude = 1 + 20 + 20 + 9 + 20 + 21 + 4 + 5 = 100
Bullshit = 2 + 21 + 12 + 12 + 19 + 8 + 9 + 20 = 103
AssKissing = 1 + 19 + 19 + 11 + 9 + 19 + 19 + 9 + 14 + 7 = 127

Posted by: Ozguru at July 28, 2005 11:15 AM

Show us the code...

Posted by: Rofl at July 28, 2005 11:17 AM

```#!/usr/bin/perl -w
foreach (@ARGV)
{
my \$Word = \$_ ;
my @Chars = split //, \$Word ;
my \$Sum = 0 ;
foreach (0..\$#Chars)
{
\$Chars[\$_] = ord(uc(\$Chars[\$_])) - ord('A') + 1 ;
\$Sum += \$Chars[\$_] ;
}
print "\$Word = " . join(' + ', @Chars) . " = \$Sum\n" ;
}```

Posted by: Ozguru at July 28, 2005 11:19 AM

Hmmm. Looking at the code, I note that politically correct b*llsh*t doesn't score very well:

./value.pl B*llsh*t
B*llsh*t = 2 + -22 + 12 + 12 + 19 + 8 + -22 + 20 = 29

Posted by: Rofl at July 28, 2005 11:25 AM

Rofl - please get a TypeKey so I don't have to keep approving all your comments by hand. It would save me a lot of work....

Posted by: Ozguru at July 28, 2005 11:27 AM

OK. You convinced me. I had got your email. I was just ignoring it.

Back on topic, did you realise that meetings are better than work:
./value.pl meetings work
meetings = 13 + 5 + 5 + 20 + 9 + 14 + 7 + 19 = 92
work = 23 + 15 + 18 + 11 = 67

Posted by: Rofl at July 28, 2005 11:43 AM

Drinking is better than work:

./value.pl drinking work
drinking = 4 + 18 + 9 + 14 + 11 + 9 + 14 + 7 = 86
work = 23 + 15 + 18 + 11 = 67

Posted by: Rofl at July 28, 2005 03:52 PM

Work is better than sex:

./value.pl work sex
work = 23 + 15 + 18 + 11 = 67
sex = 19 + 5 + 24 = 48

Posted by: Rofl at July 28, 2005 03:53 PM

And of course, given that drinking is better than work (and sex), what should you drink?

Well whiskey is better than beer:
./value.pl whiskey beer
whiskey = 23 + 8 + 9 + 19 + 11 + 5 + 25 = 100
beer = 2 + 5 + 5 + 18 = 30

And if you don't like to drink alone and you are looking for a girlfriend, whiskey is better than diamonds as well:
./value.pl whiskey diamonds
whiskey = 23 + 8 + 9 + 19 + 11 + 5 + 25 = 100
diamonds = 4 + 9 + 1 + 13 + 15 + 14 + 4 + 19 = 79

Note in passing that there is no point in trying to attract the ladies with beer...

Posted by: Rofl at July 28, 2005 03:56 PM

Good stuff - thats what I call higher math!

Posted by: MIke at August 1, 2005 04:24 PM