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I was talking to a friend the other day about sterotypes. When I was a kid, all the jokes were "Irish jokes" but other people can remember "Polish jokes" or "Blonde jokes". Well this friend suggested that we need some segment of society which is completely despised and unloved and therefore suitable for joking about.....

The two options we came up with were politicians and lawyers. The problem is that politicians are already jokes and lawyers doesn't always work.....

The example joke was one of the favourites in my house as a kid:

Well there was this Irishman who went to work with one red sock and one green sock on. His boss said to him: "Hey, you have one red sock and one green sock on". The man responded "Yes. And I have another pair like this at home"....

When my grandfather went to India he got off the plane and was greeted by an old friend who told him the latest joke going around:

Well there was this Seik who went to work with one red sock and one green sock....

Try it with a lawyer:

Well there was this Irishman who went to work with one red sock and one green sock on. His boss said to him: "Hey, you have one red sock and one green sock on". The man responded "Yes. I'll see you in court."....


Posted by Ozguru at 07:00 AM

RIP: John Backus

Found this code fragment in the comments over at Slashdot:

PRINT *, 'Farewell John W. Backus'

I have actually completely forgotten Fortran but I can still remember struggling with BNF grammers (Backus is the B in BNF).

Posted by Ozguru at 07:00 AM

Windblows vs the Internet

According to the BBC, there has been a 'Surge' in hijacked PC networks:

More than six million computers world wide are now part of a "bot network", reported security firm Symantec.

What I want to know:

How many of them are Macs? None.

How many are running Linux? None.

How many are running Windblows? All of them.

Why are you running Windblows?

Posted by Ozguru at 07:00 AM

Are You Free Mr Humphries?

Mr Humphries has gone upstairs to see the manager.....


Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM | Comments (0)

Vista Secure? NBL!

There is an interesting (for IT support staff) article over at The Register entitled Vista security overview: too little too late which says in the summary:

So, what have we got here? An adequately secure version of Windows, finally? I think not. We have got, instead, a slightly more secure version than XP SP2. There are good features, and there are good ideas, but they've been implemented badly. The old problems never go away: too many networking services enabled by default; too many owners running their boxes as admins and downloading every bit of malware they can get their hands on. But MS has, in a sense, shifted the responsibility onto users: it has addressed numerous issues where too much was going on automatically and with too many privileges. But this simply means that the owner will be the one making a mess of their Windows box.
Data hygiene is still an absolute disaster on Windows. In fact, it's worse than it ever was in some ways, and that's very bad indeed. Browser traces still in the registry, heavy and complicated indexing to improve search, new locations where data is being stored. It all adds up to a privacy nightmare. Keeping a Vista box "clean" is going to be impossible for all but the most knowledgeable and fastidious users.
So don't rush out to buy Vista in hopes of getting much in return security-wise. I do like some of the changes, at least in theory, or as a decent platform on which to build an adequately secure version of Windows one day. But that day, if it ever comes, will be well in the future.

The comment that sprang out at me was about the default user being the administrator. Still. After all these years.

It just goes to show that Microserfs may have been inspecting the Apple GUI so they could copy it but they never looked underneath the flashy pictures to see how the security model worked....

[NBL = Not Very Likely (but in the Australian vernacular)]

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM

A new phone...

My old mobile (Sony Ericsson) is just about dead. It has been a good phone but I need to replace it because the buttons don't work most of the time - you sort of have to press the battery on the back at the same time as pressing the 'yes'/'no' buttons before they will register.

Obviously I should try and hold out until the iPhone is available....

Or then again, maybe not. Telstra (the national carrier and most likely candidate for Apple to use for Australian coverage) has dissed the iPhone. Idiots. I can guess the reaction from Steve - let Australia go hang itself.....

Fortunately there was a better reaction from (Fake) Steve Jobs:

Telstra to Apple: Stick to your knitting
Some dude from Telstra says we're making a mistake building the iPhone and we should "stick to our knitting." See here. Now, I don't know who this guy is. And I don't see why some refrigerator manufacturer in New Zealand should be telling us how to run our business. But the iPhone is a perfectly natural next step for us. Second, we go into any business we want. And we win. If we want to make Apple iToasters, we will. And you know what? They'll rock. And they'll cost a fortune. And people will line up to buy them. Or watch out, Telstra man. Maybe we'll start making refrigerators, and put you guys right out of business. Put that on the barbie and grill it.

Maybe we are still in with a chance.... where do I put that duct-tape to hold my phone together....

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

Macrovision Madness

Some of you may have come across Macrovisions Response to Steve Jobs which has every appearance of being composed by someone who is 90% stoned. My reading of it seemed to suggest that Macrovision (a buggy whip company) was asking Apple to give it (for free) proprietary encryption systems so that Macrovision could make oodles of money. The reasoning was that Macrovision (who have yet to achieve anything technically brilliant and effective) would be able to outperform Apple (who have a proven track record).

It is completely obvious that Macrovision did not understand (or intentionally misunderstod) Job's comments about DRM (namely that the world would be better without it).

A far more lucid translation of the entire affair can be found at Daring Fireball including this gem:

Macrovision: While your thoughts are seemingly directed solely to the music industry, the fact is that DRM also has a broad impact across many different forms of content and across many media devices. Therefore, the discussion should not be limited to just music.
Translation: We recognize that if getting rid of DRM works for the music industry, it’s going to open the eyes of executives in other fields, and it could unravel Macrovision’s entire business.
Macrovision: DRM increases not decreases consumer value
Translation: Up is down. Black is white.
Macrovision: I believe that most piracy occurs because the technology available today has not yet been widely deployed to make DRM-protected legitimate content as easily accessible and convenient as unprotected illegitimate content is to consumers.
Translation: I have, to date, succeeded in convincing the entertainment industry that DRM can stop piracy.

With apologies to Billy Joel, it's all about soul money ....

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 PM


Once again it looks like Jobsey was right on the money with his anti-DRM rant. The Register has an article from an ex-Sony-lawyer who says (in part):

The DRM walls are crumbling. Earlier this week, Steve Jobs called on the major record labels to allow online music sales unfettered by digital rights management restrictions.
Today, the Wall Street Journal disclosed that EMI is in negotiations with several digital music services to sell unprotected MP3s of its catalogue. Jobs was motivated at least in part by legal actions against Apple in Europe and the US as discussed below. But whatever his motivation, Jobs is right: DRM has been a disaster for the recording business. This article will outline the brief but sad history of DRM, the current legal attacks on it, and the reasons why the recording business would be far better off without it.

The author then goes on to discuss the problem from a historical perspective and finally concludes:
Even if the legal attacks against DRM do not prevail, the majors should take note: get rid of DRM, because it's bad for business.

Fingers crossed....

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)

Busy, busy, busy...

A while back I was working for a Unix sales/consulting/support oragnisation. The work was interesting and challenging but the big boss did not know how to treat people well. It got to the point of working 80 hours weeks, every week and being on call all the time (24x7x52). Eventually the strain got too much and I quit and ended up in another job with a 35 hour a week limit. The salary was lower (10%) but the hours were lower, the stress was lower and the environment was far more relaxed.

Now, more than twleve months later, I find that I am just as busy as I ever was but the difference is that a lot of that time is non-work. I have more time with my kids, more time for my local church and more time working for non-profit organisation. All round, a mure fulfilling life.

It is kind of interesting but I feel that working in IT is not satisfying in a long-lasting way. It doesn't leave the world a better place, it doesn't "make a difference'. On the other hand it pays the bills, provides a day-to-day challenge and "enables" me to make a difference in other ways.

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)

iDream (of a new Mac)

Apple Announces iPhone Follow-Up Product:

The first follow-up product to the not-yet-shipping iPhone was announced in a surprise special Apple presentation today in Cupertino.
“The iDream will provide 1000 hours of full-motion, 7.1 Dolby surround dreams with the quality you expect from Apple, Pixar, and Disney,” CEO Steve Jobs said.

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM

M$ vs Wikipedia

According to the SMH, Microsoft 'tried to doctor Wikipedia':

Microsoft has landed in the Wikipedia doghouse today after it offered to pay an Australian blogger to change technical articles on the community-produced web encyclopedia site.
While Wikipedia is known as the encyclopedia that anyone can tweak, founder Jimmy Wales and his cadre of volunteer editors, writers and moderators have blocked public relations firms, campaign workers and anyone else perceived as having a conflict of interest from posting fluff or slanting entries.
So paying for Wikipedia copy is considered a definite no-no.
"We were very disappointed to hear that Microsoft was taking that approach,'' Wales said.
Microsoft acknowledged it had approached the writer - Rick Jelliffe, who is chief technical officer of Sydney computing company Topologi, based in Pyrmont - and offered to pay him for the time it would take to correct what the company was sure were inaccuracies in Wikipedia articles on an ''open document format'' and a rival put forward by Microsoft.

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM | Comments (4)

Don't blog - write letters...

According to The Register, blogging is un-Christian:

Blathering on blogs is un-Christian, an Evangelical church has warned.
"Blogging has become a socially accepted practice - just as are dating seriously too young, underage drinking and general misbehaving," notes the monthly of the Reformed Church of God, Ambassador Youth.
Blogging "often makes the blogger feel good or makes him feel as if his opinion counts - when it is mostly mindless blather!" notes Kevin D Denee.
"Much of this is simply blathering on blogs - mindless words and idle communication. Blogs can be summed up as people talking about almost anything, but really nothing. There is no purpose to much of the contents - no direction."
This, we learn conflicts with the advise given in Proverbs 17:27-28 ...
Fair enough.
Blogging is also dangerous because of its addictive quality, we're told.
"All that said, you can—and SHOULD—maintain friends the “old-fashioned” way, through actual personal contact, as well as letter writing, emailing or instant messaging".

Just as well I only found out *after* I stopped - otherwise I would have had to keep going :-)

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM | Comments (2)

The End

A week without jokes and nobody noticed :-(

This blog has been going since Feb 2003. It contains over 1600 entries (mainly jokes), almost 1000 (non-spam) comments and has seen more than 200,000 visitors.

It has been difficult to keep it going with all my other activities. For a while Peskie tried to keep it running but both he and I have had a lot of trouble getting into to do normal maintenance. At least 50% of the time the admin access has been unavailable.

As a result, I have decided to give up for the time being. Maybe this can be resurrected in the future, maybe not. Either way I am still around and you can contact me via email. I am also part of LinkedIn so regular readers can connect that way as well....

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM | Comments (11)

I Support the Pope


Also see: Relapsed Catholic...

(Found via Rosary Army).

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM

Standover tactics not winning (yet)

From The Register:

The SCO Group saw its business ebb away during the third quarter, as both revenue and sales continued their steady migration southwards.
The Linux litigant recorded an increased net loss of $3.6m for the three months to July 31 compared to $2.2m, on total revenue that fell 20 per cent to $7.4m. SCO reported an increased loss per diluted share of $0.17, compared to $0.13 in the same period last year.
Revenue from SCO's Unix business dropped 22 per cent to $6.2m, while SCOsource revenue from licensing dipped 3.1 per cent to $31,000. Cough.

Hmmmmm. I wonder how munch money is left before they are tagged as financially bankrupt? Of course there are some who will claim that SCO has been morally bankrupt for some time....

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM

Newsflash: 24-inch iMac pricing

Looks like the base price is $US2000, a hike of $US500 over the 20" model. For your money you get a bigger screen (1920x1200 instead of 1680x1050) and a better video card (GeForce 7300GT). There appear to be more memory slots (you can configure 3x1Gb DIMMS) and the procs are now 64-bit.


Wonder if someone let this slip early given all the excitment about a September 12 announcement.

Posted by Ozguru at 11:15 PM | Comments (1)

Newsflash: 24-inch iMac released

All the rumour sites have been speculating about a new 23" iMac - wrong.

It is 24" and it appeared on Apple's site this evening (and also in the US Apple Store). I can't believe that none of the Mac sites have spotted this yet....


It is not on the Apple Australia site or store yet.

Posted by Ozguru at 11:00 PM | Comments (2)

Blogroll Cleanup

Someone noted that I have a number of dead links so I am cleaning up the blogroll. If you see yourself disappearing and this bothers you, get in touch with me or leave a comment. If you want to be added to the blogroll, leave a comment as well....

Going, going, gone....

Correction: There was a link on Thoughts from the Middle of Nowhere, I just didn't spot it when I scanned the blog last night - it was under the heading 'Neighbor Blogs' (which I assumed were other blogs in the US). Sarpy Sam is restored to the BlogRoll.....

Have I made any other errors?

Posted by Ozguru at 08:00 PM | Comments (7)

Where are the kiwis?

Looks like I have upset the kiwis :-)


Oh, and in case you were wondering, the single most popular post of all time is Harry Potter #7 with 20 comments. The main theme of the post (and the comments) revolve around the question of Harry being a horcrux.

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM | Comments (4)

Bandwidth Issues

Due to bandwidth issues, I have reduced the number of items on the main page.... (just in case you were wondering what had happened)....

There has also been a cleanup of the sidebar :-)

If this does not solve the bandwidth, I may have to cut the main page back to only 10 jokes (it is currently 15 and it was 25).

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM | Comments (1)

Happy 4th July

Harry Potter #7 (Spoiler)

Geoffrey Huntley

On the Beach at the End of the World

My Boyfriend is a Twat

Jaboobie and Two Hard Boiled Eggs

Grrrrr Be Afraid

Eric James Stone's Blog


Technically Speaking

Rock Garden, The

All AgitProp, All the Time...

Kat's Stuff

Tan Lucy Pez