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July 31, 2006

Employment Maths

Smart boss+smart employee=productivity
Smart boss+ dumb employee=overtime
Dumb boss+smart employee=promotion
Dumb boss+dumb employee=downsizing

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 30, 2006

Hymns for all Occasions...

The Dentist's Hymn....................Crown Him with Many Crowns

The Weatherman's Hymn............There Shall Be Showers of Blessings

The Contractor's Hymn...............The Church's One Foundation

The Tailor's Hymn......................Holy, Holy, Holy

The Golfer's Hymn......................There's a Green Hill Far Away

The Politician's Hymn..................Standing on the Promises

The Optometrist's Hymn..............Open My Eyes That I Might See

The IRS Agent's Hymn.................I Surrender All

The Gossip's Hymn......................Pass It On

The Electrician's Hymn................This Little Light of Mine

The Shopper's Hymn..................Sweet By and By

The Realtor's Hymn..........I've Got a Mansion, Just over the Hilltop

The Massage Therapists Hymn....He Touched Me

The Doctor's Hymn.....................The Great Physician

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 29, 2006

Driving Hymns...

For those who speed on the highway - a few hymns:

-----45mph....................God Will Take Care of You

-----55mph...................Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah

-----65mph...................Nearer My God To Thee

-----75mph....................Nearer Still Nearer

-----85mph....................This World Is Not My Home

-----95mph....................Lord, I'm Coming Home

-----Over 100mph.........Precious Memories

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 28, 2006

Chicken in the Library

SO! This chicken walks into a library... (this is a real groaner to tell your kids)

This chicken walks into a library and goes up to the librarian. "BOOOK! BOOOK BOOK BOOOOK!!" it clucks. "you want a book?" The librarian asks. The chicken says, louder, "BOOOOOOOK BOOK BOOOOK BOOOK BOOOK-OOK!!"

The librarian gathers up a number of different books-- nonfiction, novels, instruction manuals, autobiographies-- and checks them out to the chicken. The chicken leaves and heads off down the road.

Now, the librarian has never seen a chicken ask for books before, so she follows the chicken down the road to a pond. There, sitting on a lily pad is a frog. The chicken holds book after book to the frog, and the frog merely says, "REDDIT! REDDIT!! REDDIT!!"

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 27, 2006

The bartender said....

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walked into a bar.

The bartender looked at them and said "Hey what is this? some kind of joke?"

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 26, 2006

Pun Contest

A man submitted 10 puns to a joke contest. He was sure that several of his puns would get him prizes.

No pun in ten did.

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 25, 2006

Preaching to a bear

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first."Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around, so I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb! The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 24, 2006

Agnostic Klansman

Did you hear about the agnostic klansmen?

He burnt a question mark on his nieghbor's lawn...

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)

July 23, 2006

Sally and Fred

SALLY: "I was sooo sick last month, but my doctor said he'd get me back up on my feet in 2 weeks!"
FRED: "really? DID he?"
SALLY: "he sure did! I had to sell my car to pay off the bills..."

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 22, 2006

Vocations...

A devout couple with a three year old boy wanted to begin helping the child discern his vocation. They called their parish priest.

"No problem," the priest said. I will put three objects on the table. Whichever he picks up will tell us his path.

The priest laid a Bible on the table. "If he picks this, he will be a priest or religious."
...then a wallet. "This means he will be a businessman."
...and finally a hip flask. "If he picks this, he will be a drunk."

The couple called their son in, who hobbled over to the coffee table, looked at the items for a moment, and snatched up all three.

"Dear Lord," screamed the priest. "He is going to be a Jesuit!!"

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 21, 2006

Easter Eggs

A farm boy goes to an Easter egg hunt.

When he arrives home with his trove of decorated eggs he decides to play a joke on his folks. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces all the eggs under the hens with his colored eggs.

A few minutes later the rooster walks into the coop, takes one look at the eggs, and goes out and beats the tar our of the peacock....

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 20, 2006

Meaning of Easter

Three idiots just died and are at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first man, "WHAT IS EASTER?"

The man replies, "Oh, that's easy, it's the holiday in November when everybody gets together, eats turkey, and is thankful..."

"WRONG," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second man the same question, "WHAT IS EASTER?"

The second man replies, "No, Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second man, shakes his head in disgust, looks at the third man and asks, "WHAT IS EASTER?"

The third man smiles and looks St. Pete in the eye.

"I know what Easter is. Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and He was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took Him to be crucified and was stabbed in the side, made Him wear a crown of thorns, and He was hung on a cross. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.....

Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out, and if He sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter."

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 19, 2006

Science vs God

SCIENTIST: "God, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing, in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning."

GOD: "Oh, is that so? Tell Me...".

SCIENTIST: "Well, we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breath life into it, thus creating man."

GOD: "Well, that's very interesting... show Me."

SCIENTIST: [The scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man.]

GOD: "No, no, no..Get your OWN dirt."

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 18, 2006

Sleep Walking Nun

Q: What do you call a sleep walking nun?

A: A Roaming Catholic

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 17, 2006

Cannibals vs Missionaries

Q: What did the cannibals say when they saw the missionaries coming on bicycles?

A: Here comes meals on wheels.

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 16, 2006

Black and White

Q: What's black and white and black and white and black and white?

A: A nun on a zebra on a zebra crossing.

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 15, 2006

Black and White and Red

Q: What is black and white and red all over?

A: The daily paper - it is "read" all over.

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 14, 2006

The Pope visits the UN

The Pope flies into JFK in order to speak at the UN in Manhatten.
Of course the UN sends a limo to pick him up.

The driver and the pope get to talking and the pope explains how much he enjoys driving but being the pope he doesn't get to do much of it any more because he's always being carted around in the pope-mobile.

The driver offers the pope a turn at the wheel and the pope jumps at the opportunity while the driver takes advantage by relaxing in the passenger compartment with a cigar and a cocktail, freed of the responsibility of driving the pope through NY traffic.

Well the pope gets to enjoying himself so much that he ends up speeding and getting pulled over by a motorcycle cop.

The cop approaches the limo to ask for the driver's license and registration and is dumbstruck when he sees who's driving.

Not knowing what to do he calls into the station to speak with his supervisor.

The cop tells his supervisor about pulling a speeder over but he's unsure if he should issue a ticket.

"Why not?", asks the supervisor.

"Well this guy is a pretty important person", answers the cop.

Not wanting to let the offender off, the supervisor asks, "How important?"

"Real important", responds the cop.

"How important is 'real important'?", asks the curious supervisor.

"Well let me put it to you this way", responds the cop. "You don't get any more important than this guy."

"Who the heck is it?!" , asks the incredulous supervisor.

"Well I'm not sure", replies the cop. "But whoever it is, he's got the pope driving him around in a limo."

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 13, 2006

Pope vs Aussie

There is an Aussie backpacking through Europe and he finds himself in Italy. He has had enough of the pizza and pasta and wants a decent BBQ. Walking along he spots a nice green paddock (American: field) and climbs the fence, and sets up his portable BBQ under a tree.

An Italian fellow spots him and calls out to him - something about not being allowed in the field.

The Aussie, his meat ready to turn over, ignores him.

The Italian fellow jumps over the fence and comes over waving his arms and explaining that this is the pope's land and you can't just have a BBQ here.

All of a sudden they spot the pope coming across the field so the Italian jumps behind a nearby bush (American: shrub). He watches as the Pope comes up to the Australian and appears to make the sign of the cross. Then the pope walks away again.

The Italian runs back to the Aussie and says (in an italian accent): "He blessed you. He blessed you."

"No he didn't." says the Australian.

"But he did, I saw him." says the Italian.

(Hand gestures in brackets - to make the sign of the cross as a priest would do it for a blessing).

"Nope. He said: You (top of the cross), your barby (bottom of the cross), your mate behind the bush (one side), rack off (the other side)."

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 12, 2006

Hospital Visit

The Queen went to visit a hospital in in Scotland. She went to one patient's bed and asked him where he was from. The patient looked up at her and said "O, my luve's like a red, red rose,That's newly sprung in June "

Odd, she thought. She went to another patient and asked if he was pleased with the care there. "O, my luve's like the melodie,That's sweetly play'd in tune" replied the patient.

As she was leaving she beckoned to one of the nurses and asked "Tell me, was that the Psychiatric Unit I just toured?"

"No ma'am" the nurse replied, "it was the Burns ward"

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 11, 2006

A dead lawyer...

A Glaswegian stops before a graveyard in a Gorbals cemetery, and notices a carved tombstone declaring,
"Here lies a lawyer and an honest man..."

"Ach, who'd ever think..." he murmered, "there'd be enough room fer two men in that one wee grave..."

[Found at Rosary Army...]

Posted by Ozguru at 12:00 PM

July 10, 2006

Puzzle #03

You can't keep this until you have given it.

Your Word

Posted by Peskie at 01:10 PM

AIX: Where is the system log?

Q: I found syslog.conf so I went looking for the syslog file but I can't find it...

A: The first problem is that syslog.conf exists but the important entries are commented out. The second problem is that uncommenting them will not create the log file (you have to do that by hand). The third problem is that the default log file is in /tmp instead of somewhere useful (like /var/log or /var/adm).

The relevant part of my syslog file looks like:


kern.info /dev/console
*.info;mail.none;authpriv.none /var/log/messages rotate size 50k files 5
authpriv.info /var/log/secure rotate size 50k files 3
mail.info /var/log/maillog rotate size 50k files 3
*.crit *
*.crit @log-server

If you want to use this, make sure you create the log files:


mkdir -p /var/log
touch /var/log/messages
touch /var/log/secure
touch /var/log/maillog

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM | Comments (3)

July 09, 2006

Owls

Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl finally called back to him.

For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation."

Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.

"My husband spends his nights calling out to owls," she said.

"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."

Posted by Peskie at 01:09 PM

July 08, 2006

Puzzle #02

Cathy has six pairs of black gloves and six pairs of brown gloves in her drawer. In complete darkness, how many gloves must she take from the drawer in order to be sure to get a pair that match?

13. She could possibly take out 6 black left hand gloves and then 6 brown left hand gloves, the next one would have to be either the right hand or left hand match.

Posted by Peskie at 03:00 PM | Comments (1)

July 07, 2006

Golf

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one.

"Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?"

The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it, so I don't need another one."

Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it."

"Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?"

The other guy replied, "That's okay, too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?"

"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is florescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

The other guy replies, "I found it."

Posted by Peskie at 01:07 PM

AIX: How much memory?

Q1: How much memory is there in my AIX box?

A1: Try:

# bootinfo -r
12713984

Q2: I get some error about file access permissions....

A2: That is because you are not root:

$ bootinfo -r
-bash: /usr/sbin/bootinfo: The file access permissions do not allow the specified action.
$ lsattr -E -l sys0 -a realmem
realmem 12713984 Amount of usable physical memory in Kbytes False

AIX likes to complain about file access permissions even when it really means you don't have the credentials to do something. Most other Unixes would advise you that you need to be root instead....

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM

July 06, 2006

Heaven

A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you—we’ve looked at your life, and you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?"

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers.

He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!"

"I’m impressed," St. Peter responded. "When did this happen?"

"About two minutes ago," came the reply.

Posted by Peskie at 02:59 PM

AIX: Timezones

AIX$ date
Thu Jul 6 06:00:00 EET 2006

EET? Where the heck is EET?

Ahhhh. EET = Eastern European Time.

Good-oh. Some nong set the timezone wrong. Let me go fix it in smit.

Done.

AIX$ date
Thu Jul 6 06:01:00 EET 2006

EET again? Doesn't IBM know anything about timezones? I mean every other vendor manages to get this right and use EST. Oh well, hack the /etc/environment file and add:

TZ=EST-10EDT,M10.5.0,M3.5.0

No worries.

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM | Comments (1)

July 05, 2006

Puzzle #01

Each pair of hints below relates to two words. One of the words is the other one spelled backward.
What are the ten word pairs?
Example: married, moisture
Answer: wed, dew

1. light source, rodents
2. dwell, wicked
3. retain, sneaking look
4. weapons, tight fit
5. portion, catching device
6. prize, furniture compartment
7. drinking aid, skin blemishes
8. stopper, big swallow
9. implement, stolen goods
10. precinct, illustrate

1. star, rats
2. live, evil
3. keep, peek
4. guns, snug
5. part, trap
6. reward, drawer
7. straw, warts
8. plug, gulp
9. tool, loot
10. ward, draw

Posted by Peskie at 02:57 PM | Comments (1)

AIX: Attributes and Configuration

Struggling to understand AIX? There is probably a good reason for that...

Take a deep breath.

Want to check the attributes of a device? Use lscfg (LiSt ConFiGuration).

Want to check the config of a device? Use lsattr (LiSt ATTRibute).

No worries.

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM | Comments (2)

July 04, 2006

Choices

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

Posted by Peskie at 02:56 PM | Comments (2)

Happy 4th July

380px-US_flag_13_stars_–_Betsy_Ross.svg.png

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM

July 03, 2006

BREAKING NEWS

Just heard an Australian soccer fan was arrested after the game in Germany, charged with assaulting an Italian Soccer fan.
The Italian fan suffered fractures, bruising, abrasions and a fractured skull. As a result of these horrendous injuries, the Italian man has anxiety, depression and has now developed Diabetes.

The Australian was 20 metres away at the time of the attack. The Italian is expected to make a full recovery in 5 minutes.

Posted by Peskie at 02:53 PM

AIX: Move root's home

This tip is from Makus:

The home directory for the root user is per default the root directory of the system. If you move root's home to /home/root (or /usr/root) you'll get the following advantages:

  1. The logs generated by root (smit.*) don't fill up the root directory of the machine. A full root directory can create all sorts of strange problems. The smit logs will get large over time !

  2. You can create a bin directory for root to store some scripts / commands for the root user.

  3. Your root directory (/) does not get cluttered with all the root users files.

Warning: Choose a directory as home directory for root that is local to the machine. It is very awkward to debug networking problems with a home directory on the network !

Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM

July 02, 2006

Drumroll Please...

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop..."

Posted by Peskie at 06:06 PM

July 01, 2006

Fortune Cookie

Actual Bumper Stickers
* If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
* When you do a good deed, get a receipt--in case heaven is like the IRS..
* Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
* No radio - Already stolen.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
* Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
* I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
* Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
* IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
* Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
* According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
* Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
* Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
* How can I miss you if you won't go away?
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
* Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
* Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
* i souport publik edekashun.
* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
* Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
* Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
* Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
* If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
* 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
* Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
* You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT.
* Save Your Breath... You'll need it to blow up your date!
* My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
* Grow your own dope, plant a man.
* Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
* I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
* WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
* If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek cunseling.
* Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".

Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Horn broken, watch for finger.
All men are idiots ... I married their king.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
My kid had sex with your honor student.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
I love cats ... they taste just like chicken
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Hang up and drive.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.
I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
I said 'no' to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Cat... the other white meat.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He/She who laughs last thinks slowest
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Be nice to your kids. They'll be choosing your nursing home.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Work hard and get rich -- annoy a Liberal
Honk if you're cute, Bark if you're not!

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Posted by Ozguru at 11:00 PM