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January 31, 2005
Magic!
The teacher was discussing different jobs held by the parents of the students.
When she called on little Johnny, she asked, "And what does your father do?"
"Oh, he's a magician." replied Johnny.
"Really? And what's his best trick?"
"His best trick is sawing people in half."
"Wonderful!," exclaimed the teacher. "Tell me, are there any more children in your family?""
"Yes ma'am, I have a half brother and two half sisters."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
January 30, 2005
Sneezing
"Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the granddaughter.
"What's to be proud of?" asked the old man.
The granddaughter replied, "I noticed that when you sneeze, you've learned to put your hand in front of your mouth."
"Of course," explained Grandpa. "How else am I going to catch my teeth?"
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
January 29, 2005
Drinking time
In 1967, the Soviet Government minted a beautiful silver ruble with Lenin in a very familiar pose - arms raised above him, leading the country to revolution. But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from behind, it was clear that Lenin was pointing to 11:00, when the Vodka shops opened, and was actually saying, "Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops."
It became fashionable, when one wanted to have a drink, to take out the ruble and say, "Oh my goodness, Comrades, Lenin tells me we should go."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
January 28, 2005
911
Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, 'Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?'
The lady said, 'My phone doesn't have an eleven.'
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
Patching FCAL Loops (V880)
Today's tech tip concerns the good old Sun V880 (also the V890 and the V880Z). These machines can have two disk backplanes in them and (ideally) you should have arranged a dual loop so that the disks are all accessible via independent paths. When you go to test your install, sunvts crashes with some obscure error about the backplane firmware revision. Being good little administrators, you respond by downloading the patch 117814 (current revision is 01) and trying to install it. You run:
# luxadm display FCloop
as per the instructions, realise that at least one of your boards is down-rev. You boot into single-user mode, do the upgrade, wait the required half hour, boot into multiuser and check the firmware revision. It hasn't changed.
You can repeat this action as many times as you like but nothing will happen...
Why?
Tech Tip: It doesn't work under Solaris 9. I have no idea why. Grab another disk, wack Solaris 8 on it. Boot it in single-user mode, run the patch and "Bob'sOzg's Your Uncle". Boot back on your old disks and check the revision - just like a bought one.
Posted by Peskie at 06:00 AM | Comments (1)
January 27, 2005
Writing
One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.
Didn't realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:
"Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 26, 2005
Rescue in progress
A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.
"That's what I like to see", said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man".
As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 25, 2005
Blonde Job Applicant
Found over at CynicalCyn...
A blonde goes in to apply for a job and fills out an application.
She takes it up to the man who says, "you forgot three blanks."
He asks, "how old are you?", so she counts on her fingers and finally reaches 22.
"Okay then, how tall are you", so she tries to measure herself, finally she says 5'2.
"Great, then what is your name?", she nods her head back and forth for a few seconds and says Cindy.
He says, "okay I get how you got your age and your height, but how did you get your name by nodding your head back and forth?"
She says I was singing "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Cindy."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 24, 2005
Geek Theology
In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero.
On the first day, he toggled the 0 to 1, and the Universe was. (In those days, bootstrap loaders were simple, and "active low" signals didn't yet exist.)
On the second day, God's boss wanted a demo, and tried to read the bit. This being volatile memory, the bit reverted to a 0. And the universe wasn't. God learned the importance of backups and memory refresh, and spent the rest of the day (and his first all-nighter) reinstalling the universe.
On the third day, the bit cried "Oh, Lord! If you exist, give me a sign!" And God created rev 2.0 of the bit, even better than the original prototype. Those in Universe Marketing immediately realized that "new and improved" wouldn't do justice to such a grand and glorious creation. And so it was dubbed the Most Significant Bit. Many bits followed, but only one was so honored.
On the fourth day, God created a simple ALU with 'add' and 'logical shift' instructions. And the original bit discovered that -- by performing a single shift instruction -- it could become the Most Significant Bit. And God realized the importance of computer security.
On the fifth day, God created the first mid-life kicker, rev 2.0 of the ALU, with wonderful features, and said "Forget that add and shift stuff. Go forth and multiply." And God saw that it was good.
On the sixth day, God got a bit overconfident, and invented pipelines, register hazards, optimizing compilers, crosstalk, restartable instructions, microinterrupts, race conditions, and propagation delays. Historians have used this to convincingly argue that the sixth day must have been a Monday.
On the seventh day, an engineering change introduced Windows into the Universe, and it hasn't worked right since.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
Left handed or right handed?
One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in. He was good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday: "9:30 okay?"
"Fine," George said, "but I may be a few minutes late."
The following Sunday George showed up right on time. Not only that, he played left-handed and beat them. They agreed to meet the following Sunday morning. George was eager to come, but again, mentioned that he might be a few minutes late. The next Sunday there was George, punctual to the dot. This time he played right-handed and beat them again.
"You on for next Sunday, George?" one of the foursome asked.
"Sure," George replied, "but I might be a few..."
Another golfer jumped in. "Wait a minute... You always say you might be late, but you're always right on time, and you always win, left-handed *or* right-handed."
"Well," George replied, rather sheepishly, "that's true, but see, I'm superstitious. If my wife is sleeping on her right, when I wake up, I play right handed. If she's sleeping on her left side, I play left handed."
"What if she's lying on her back?"
George said, "That's when I'm late."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 23, 2005
Pronunciation
A honeymooning couple was passing through Kentucky. When they were approaching Versailles, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they got to the town, where they decided to stop for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, the man said, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us. Would you very slowly pronounce where we are".
The guy behind the corner leaned over and said, "Burrrrrrrrgerrrrrrr Kiiiiing"
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
January 22, 2005
Honesty
When the office printer's type began to grow faint, the office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly service agent told him that the printer probably only needed a thorough cleaning. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he said, the manager might try reading the printer's manual and doing the job himself.
Pleasantly surprised by the man's candor, the office manager asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business!?"
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 21, 2005
Unavoidable Temptation
They watched the sun slowly sink behind the hills, and the fiery glow on the lake fade into darkness. He eyed her shadowy figure, accentuated by the moon-light, as the tension from within began to fuel his animalistic desires. She followed him, ever so quietly, as they sought a secluded corner in the barn. Alone! At last. His hands roamed about her soft back, around to her thighs, and finally caressed her budding nipples. Oh, how smooth and succulent she was! "Was it so wrong?", he asked himself. No, he thought, for his father had done it, as did his own father, ad infinitum. The boiling, uncontrollable rage within him became unbearable. She signalled her eagerness, spreading her legs, as he grasped her nipples again. Stroking, again and again, longer each time. It began coming; again, again, again, again. His mind raced with fear "Will it stop?". Exhausted, he lay down beside her. "Dear God, what have I done?". Suddenly, his father burst in. His eyes burned as he stared for what seemed an eternity. Finally, his father spoke.
"Son, you ain't supposed to milk the damn cow till mornin'!"
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
January 20, 2005
Grandma
A 6-year old was asked where his grandma lived.
"Oh" he said, "She lives at the airport, and when we want her we just go and get her. Then when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 19, 2005
What is a faux pas?
The boys in the Epperson family all acquired fine educations except for Edward.
They made him go to school, but most of the time he just ignored what was said there. Yet there were rare moments when he could display a bit of curiosity.
One day Edward was sitting at home looking at a magazine, and he said to his brilliant older brother, Hud, he said, "Hud, what does fox pass mean?"
Brother Hud gave the question some deep consideration and then said, "You must mean _faux_pas_."
"The way it's spelled," said dumb Ed, "it's fox pass."
Hud took a look at the way it was spelled and then said, "It's a French phrase -- it means a social blunder.
Remember last Sunday when the Bishop came for dinner? Mother took him out in the garden and they were looking over the roses when the Bishop got stuck on the thumb by a thorn. It was bleeding quite a bit so Mother brought him in the house. They went into the bathroom together and stayed quite a while, and when they came out we all went to the dinner table. Remember all that, Ed?"
"Yeh."
[Continued but possibly offensive....]
"Now," Hud continued, "you recall that I was just getting to pass the gravy when Mother said, 'Bishop, does your prick still throb?' The gravy bowl flew out of my hands and hit the table, and the gravy splattered all over everyone. And just at that point you, Brother Edward, you hollered, 'Sheee-itt!' You remember that?"
"Yeh."
"Well, when you hollered 'Sheee-itt!' that was a _faux_pas_."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 18, 2005
Old Friends
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting that park every sunny day, for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each others' friendship.
One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "Please don't be angry with me dear, but I am embarrassed. After all these years, what is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't."
The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says, "How soon do you have to know?"
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 17, 2005
Application of Murphy's Law No. 1295
When you give up smoking you will suddenly find all the lighters you couldn't find when you were a smoker.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
January 16, 2005
Quick Thinking
The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. "Obviously the Air Force knows there's no such thing as a 'perfectly good aircraft,'" the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, "because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in one as the Army pays its men to jump."
"You've got it all wrong, Major," an Air Force sergeant replied. "The Army figures anyone stupid enough to jump out of an airplane voluntarily is gonna be too dumb to bitch about the salary."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 15, 2005
See Figure 1
To the bloke who moaned and whined about the content of my blog: see Figure 1.
To the idjit manager who who decided to "go-live" on Anzac Day: see Figure 1.
To the spammers who caused me to have to clean up their mess (on TGM): see Figure 1.
To the bus driver who hit a car just outside my place last night: see Figure 1.
Go, you must have someone to add to the list. Instead of getting busted for impropriety, just tell them to see Figure 1...
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
January 14, 2005
Nine Months Later
[From Theepan....]
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney..
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?)
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
January 13, 2005
IT Marriages
It was his third marriage and her fourth. He was quite surprised when on their honeymoon she pleaded, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"Darling, what do you mean you're still a virgin? You've been married three times."
"Yes, but they all worked for DEC. The first was a salesman, and all he ever did was promise how good it would be. The second was one of their software hacks, he told me to take care of it myself. And the third was a field service representative, and he kept promising that it would be up in 15 minutes.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (2)
Sun Ethernet Ports
It can be a bit strange installing Sun ethernet cards. You stick in the card, reboot the server (or perform some magic device incantations) and then wonder what the heck the card is called. A colleague was asking if a SunSwift card was a hme interface*....
In the resulting conversation which involved trying to remember all of the possible interfaces, my colleague remembered one that I had forgotten - the good old qfe (quad-fast-ethernet). So we put together a quick rhyme (loosely to the tune of Aye-Bee-Cee):
Lee (le), Bee (be), Cee (ce), Gee (ge),
Queue-Eff-Eee (qfe),
The other one is eerie (eri)...
My colleague concluded: "I think we are both slightly insane".
[* It is.]
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM
January 12, 2005
Schools vs Parents
[From Theepan...]
This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California). Staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.
This is the actual answering machine message for the school:
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:
"To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
"To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
"To complain about what we do - Press 3
"To swear at staff members - Press 4
"To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
"If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
"If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
"To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8
"To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
"To complain about school lunches - Press 0
"If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!"
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 11, 2005
Homework
"Dad, will you help me with my homework?"
"I'm sorry," replied the father. "It wouldn't be right."
"Well, " said the boy, "at least you could try."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
January 10, 2005
Golf
This man and his wife were out playing golf when he hit a big slice and ended up behind a big building. His wife said, "Look, both doors are open. If you can hit it through there with a little draw on it you could be pretty close to the green."
He looked it over and decided to do it. He hit the ball, the ball hit the building, bounced back, hit his wife in the head and killed her on the spot.
A few years later, the man remarried, and was out playing golf with his new wife, he ends up in the same spot, behind the building. "His new wife says, look, both doors are open. If you can hit it through there with a little draw on it you could be pretty close to the green."
The man said, "Oh no, I tried that once and took a double-bogie."
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 09, 2005
Helping...
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door........
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the morning."
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No. I did not. Its three o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!!."
His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told (of course!), gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello! Are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!!" replies the drunk.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
January 08, 2005
Rules for flying...
Completely out of the blue I stumbled across a set of rules for flying helicoptors over at Ambient Irony. After I rinsed off my keyboard skin and cleaned the screen from the explosion of breakfast I thought I should share it with you:
Thank you for your interest in flying safely.
To most people, the sky is the limit.
To those who love aviation, the sky is home.
Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
I'll try to keep that advice in mind if I ever get to fly anything...
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
NN的開心世界.....平凡裡的色彩!!!!
It probably helps if you can read Chinese but this blog is run by the fastest SMSer I have ever met. Some of the stuff about uni (and my Alma Mater at that) brings back memories of the "best years"...
The author has some spectacular photos - like this one:
I think the building is Applied Sciences at UNSW.
http://spaces.msn.com/members/annen0213/
Posted by Ozguru at 04:00 AM | Comments (1)
Dave's Half Arsed Blog
How can you not blogroll someone with an article like: Stop that! It's Silly.:
Nobody supports Howard more than me: Costello channels monty python.
"Now nobody supports Howard more than me, except Vanstone and that Downer across the hall, Ruddock, and that insieous man who pumps my petrol in the morning. Ok maybe, maybe almost any else supports Howard more than me."
http://halfrsed.blogspot.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 03:00 AM
Geoffrey Huntley
Geoff is a really cool dude (who actually knows my real name but he won't tell you). Apart from his blog (linked here), he was also the dude behind Wave of Destruction.
http://geoffreyhuntley.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 02:00 AM
On the Beach at the End of the World
This is another Aussie weblog where I have failed to meet the author. Actually, after reading this post, I doubt that my wife would be happy for me to meet the author....
I really enjoyed this comment on the latest Harry Potter:
as i got further and further into what is steadily establishing itself as a young-teen-rather-than-young-children's novel, i wondered about all the little, primary-school-aged kids who go whacky over harry. it's a little like the 'batman begins' action figures; it belittles any text with pretensions to being a deeply brooding, psychological investigation into the darkness inside the heart of man when you find a well-made plastic representation of the main character has excaped from a kid's happy meal and is skittering around your feet at the food court. there is a disjoint b/w the complexity of the text and its toy market, i think.
http://wegglywoo.blogspot.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 01:00 AM
January 07, 2005
One Liners
The first Ten Commandments are the hardest.
People who are wrapped up in themselves are overdressed.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame
A word of advice . . . don't give it.
A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to load the car.
To belittle is to be little.
Mirror, mirror on the wall . . . what the hell happened?
I don't think anyone in the world cares if there's water on the planet Mars.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
My Boyfriend is a Twat
MBIAT is a good friend of Dusting My Brain (hence how I found the blog). The writing style is unique, funny and often rude. There are many gems scattered through posts which stick like glue as you try to find a way to introduce them in polite conversation. Consider this brief extract from Stressed Arse:
On Monday I finally resorted to reaching out for some Deep Heat which was discovered under the KY gel, much to my horror as that could have been a nasty mistake if ever the two were mixed up during a steamy bit of horizontal jogging.
http://users.pandora.be/quarsan/zoe/index.html
Posted by Ozguru at 05:00 AM
MrBarrett.com
MrBarrett commented on one of my articles a very long time ago and I was impressed to discover a fellow Mac user - and someone who worked in Mac support. I often learn bits and pieces that I didn't know and I also enjoy reading the occasional rant like RTFM...
http://www.mrbarrett.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 04:00 AM
Mind of Mog
"Mind of Mog" my first introduction to WordPress (which I was using prior to shifting everything to mu.nu). The blog includes an amazing collection of cat photos and some real interesting tidbits like this observation about Wordpress and Safari....
http://www.mindofmog.net/
Posted by Ozguru at 03:00 AM
Jaboobie and Two Hard Boiled Eggs
Jaboobie and Two Hard Boiled Eggs is the culmination of 29 years of research* in politics, existentialism, deviant sexual behaviour, humor, religion, contrivance, philosophy, buggery, alcoholism, hallucinogenics, flatulence, and Nick at Nite reruns.
*Disclaimer: Everything written on the site is fiction. The previous statement is too.
http://jaboobie.com/cgi/wp/
Posted by Ozguru at 02:00 AM
Grrrrr Be Afraid
I thought that Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr had stopped blogging but apparently not - when I checked the old links, it was up and running again. Check it out....
http://phatfrogg.blogspot.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 01:00 AM
January 06, 2005
New Year Resolutions
Hey I am only about a week behind - I just found some New Year's Resolutions over at Read My Lips that I reckon O could manage:
New Year's Resolutions You Can Keep...
- Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
- Stop exercising. Waste of time.
- Read less. Makes you think.
- Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
- Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow."
...
Mind you, doing the later four would probably contribute to the first one :-)
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
Eric James Stone's Blog
EJS is a SciFi author and from the writing on his blog, a pretty good one. He has recently had a story published in Amazing.
http://www.ericjamesstone.com/blog/
Posted by Ozguru at 05:00 AM
Da Goddess
I can't remember what it was that first got me over to Da Goddess but it is now a regular visit. In fact, she offered to show me the sights if I made it to her part of the states (which I didn't) but I did get a note from LD (and sent him some irreverent Aussie songs).
I just wish I know how to generate 400,000 visitors in three years :-)
http://www.dagoddess.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 04:00 AM
Being American in T.O.
Apart from being "A Fierce American in Toronto, Ontario", Debbye is a great read. Like Paul (All AgitProp) her perspective is often broader than a pure American blog because she can see some of the external perception (which is often mistaken*) of America.
[* I admit that my reaction to Americans in general was much improved after visiting the place :-)]
http://debbyestratigacos.mu.nu/
Posted by Ozguru at 03:00 AM
UnderCaffeinated
For some reason that escapes me, I keep getting the URL wrong for this blog. I ended up googling the phrase and then getting the URL right. Phew.
Tom has a very definite list of what he believes and doesn't believe:
I don't believe broccoli causes cancer, I don't think dogs need shrinks, I don't think high protein diets are healthy, I don't think humans are destroying the earth, I don't believe there is anything wrong with genetically modified food, I don't think humanity is screwed when we run out of oil, I don't find anything wrong with conspicuous consumption, I don't believe there is anything inherently evil about McDonald's, I don't agree with firebombing SUVs, I don't think people should be able to sue cigarette companies because they smoked for thirty years.
I believe in personal responsibility, very free markets, the Golden Rule, The Israeli separation wall, the war on terrorism, Hume, Locke, Rand, and Madison.
I would like to meet Robert the Bruce
Sounds good to me...
http://www.undercaffeinated.net/
Posted by Ozguru at 02:00 AM
Ambient Irony
How the heck did I miss PixyMisa on the first pass through the blogroll-repair exercise. It is thanks to the generous Pixy that so many blogs have a home on mu.nu.
Pixy actually lives in Sydney but I have not yet met him. Maybe we should organise a blog meet in Sydney so I can update the foaf fields :-)
http://ambientirony.mu.nu/
Posted by Ozguru at 01:00 AM
January 05, 2005
Jackalope?
Like Ambient Irony, I have taken the kids to see the latest Pixar movie (The Incredibles). I would agree that it is not as easy for the younguns as previous movies but it was still interesting. Afterwards, the number one question was actually about the jackalope (kangaroo-bear) from the short file that preceded the movie.
Thanks to Pixy, I found out :-) Check the link in his quote:
The short that accompanied it, Boundin', was also a delight, and introduced my family to one of my personal favourite quintessentially American critters, the jackalope. None of them had ever heard of a jackalope before, so they were probably wondering why I was laughing so hard at that point.
So now I know it is not a kangaroo-bear, instead it is a deer-rabbit.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
Alphecca
Have you ever come across a cat with a gun? Check out Alphecca, this guy helped to clarify my mind on some issues way back when I first started to get readers. I also thought originally that his byline was about a gumnut but actually it is:
Alphecca is an occasional blog by an independent, libertarian, gay gun nut from Vermont. Opinions about all sorts of stuff I know nothing about...
http://www.alphecca.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 05:00 AM
Accidental Verbosity
What happens when the Accidental Jedi meets Jay Solo of Verbosity fame? You get a husband and wife--and a blog named Accidental Verbosity...not to mention a baby named Sadie.
You also get to reduce the blogroll by one :-) Jay and Jedi make great reading and should be a daily visit...
http://www.accidentalverbosity.com
Posted by Ozguru at 04:00 AM
skipjack DOT info
I am getting behind on the blogroll updates again and that means some great sites like Skipjack are getting behind. Skipjack actually took time out to meet me for lunch when I was in San Francisco last year - he also explained some of the uniqueness that makes up California :-) From memory, the lunch was during the San Francisco equivalent of the Sydney Mardi Gras (might have been called the Gay Pride or something).
I think my original contact with Skipjack was during a discussion of kilts - he wore won when he got married ...
It is sort of interesting to realise that I have only met in person a very small percentage of my blogroll - I need to do something about that...
http://www.skipjack.info/
Posted by Ozguru at 03:00 AM | Comments (3)
Ranchero
I met Brent at WWDC last year - in fact it was one of the highlights of the conference. I have written many bits of software but never a complete standalone product - certainly not like NetNewsWire. In fact, NNW (and MarsEdit) are the first bits of software that I install when I am testing new versions of MacOS X.
http://ranchero.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 02:00 AM
Tech Ronin
This is another blog with lots of geeky gadgets. Tech ronin also provides regular reviews of the various social networks and the latest palm devices.
http://tokerud.typepad.com/blog/
Posted by Ozguru at 01:00 AM
January 04, 2005
Morality
The reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shall Not Steal", "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor." in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile working environment
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
Happy Meal Ethernet
Over at Read My Lips, Tig wants to know:
Here's a question for which no amount of Google searchin' could disclose an answer: Can a McDonald's "Happy Meal" really make ya happy?
Short answer - No. Although I note that someone suggested that it works if you are between 3 and 6 years old :-)
In the process it made me remember the infamous story about the Sun hme interface. I'll try and avoid too much technical detail while still getting the story right. In a Unix system (like Sun's Solaris boxes), all the physical devices have short names in the kernel and the device tree. The oldest Sun ethernet interface that I can remember is the Lance Ethernet (short name: "le"). This was later replaced pretty much everywhere with the "hme" interface which was rumoured to be 'Happy Meal Ethernet'. One theory is that this stemmed from the dual scsi/ethernet controllers (i.e. you get 'free' ethernet with your scsi or vice versa) but I seem to remember it appearing as an onboard interface before it was on expansion cards. According to a series of posts (to identify weird kernel code) over at the joke is also extended to the relevant kernel code:
How about drivers/net/sunhme.c ?
It's not scary, but it is absolutely hilarious, even to people who don't even know C.
static void happy_meal_tcvr_write(struct happy_meal *hp, unsigned long ...)
{
int tries = TCVR_WRITE_TRIES;
ASD(("happy_meal_tcvr_write: reg=0x%02x value=%04xn", reg, value));
/* Welcome to Sun Microsystems, can I take your order please? */
if (!hp->happy_flags & HFLAG_FENABLE)
return happy_meal_bb_write(hp, tregs, reg, value);
/* Would you like fries with that? */
hme_write32(hp, tregs + TCVR_FRAME, (FRAME_WRITE | (hp->paddr ...
It is possible that the code came after the funny name - you never know with code...
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM
Technically Speaking
Tony's blog is full of really cool stuff - if there is a geeky gadget or a geeky happening, Tony will cover it. In fact his top article of the moment has a great picture of Chewbacca waiting to see the Star Wars movie...
http://tonytalkstech.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 05:00 AM
Thoughts from the Middle of Nowhere
Sarpy Sam lives in Montana (and I have no idea where that is without looking at a map) on a ranch with a bunch of cattle. He provides a very different perspective on everyday issues (like artesian water). There are also some fantastic pictures like this one.
http://nowherethoughts.net/sarpysam/
Posted by Ozguru at 04:00 AM | Comments (2)
Rock Garden, The
I first met the author of "the rock garden" via email and comments - in fact I think it was before he had a blog of his own. If I remember correctly, he was the one that got me involved with solving the Google Labs Aptitude Test (at one stage I was in the top 5 google searches for that phrase - now I am not in the top 50 but "the rock garden" is at #41).
The posts tend to be (a) technically interesting and (b) flows of consciousness - the combination makes quite an enjoyable read ...
http://www.pycs.net/users/0000337/
Posted by Ozguru at 03:00 AM | Comments (1)
Kazza the Blank One
I first met Kazza recently when she commented on a post and then soon afterwards, won one of the random competitions on the blog. I had intended to offer her a guest post on the old blog but it coincided with the shutdown of my local server so I have not yet had the chance of doing it. As far as I know, I have not met Kazza but as she is in Sydney, it is always possible that our paths may overlap someday :-)
Kazza's post about 100 things is making me think that I ought to do something similar...
http://blog.kazza.id.au/
Posted by Ozguru at 02:00 AM | Comments (3)
Interested-Participant
I first met Interested-Participant in an experimental shared blog - now nicknamed 'Dead Parrot'. The shared blog was not a success but most of those involved have kept in touch with each other.
Interested-Participant manages to find the strangest (and most interesting) stories in the American news - not the big articles that find their way into GoogleNews but all the ones that are likely to be interesting to read :-)
http://interested-participant.blogspot.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 01:00 AM | Comments (2)
January 03, 2005
Sassenach Celebrations
You see there was a good Scot who had spent the entire year away from his native home with nought but a wee drop and his pipes to keep him company. At long last his assignment had come to an end and he had the chance to be home for Hogmanay. He carefully booked his tickets but for numerous reasons too complex to explain, he found himself having to fly into London and then taking the train to Edinburgh. Unfortunately there was one of those mixups with his luggage and by the time it was sorted he found himself stranded in London for the night. The airline, who took full responsibility for the stuff-up arranged to transfer his ticket to the next train and also arranged, free-of-charge, some accommodation in a posh hotel near Marble Arch*.
When he made it to Scotland it was late on the 1st of January and the locals enquired as to what it was like celebrating Hogmanay with the sassenachs. The Scot replied that the sassenachs were altogether too strange for his liking. All night long they had been pounding on his door, ceiling and floor - shouting and screaming things that cannot be repeated on a family-friendly website. His friends were amazed and wondered how he had responded to such violent provocation. The Scot explained that he found it easiest to ignore the noise, sip a wee drop and continue playing his pipes...
[* Which is pronounced for some unknown reason as More Bull-Arch - I also stayed in a hotel there and had some of my luggage stolen by the room staff.]
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM
On The Third Hand
This blog raises an interesting problem for the XFN code - it is more than one blogger. The two that I am familiar with are: Kathy K who recently celebrated her 21st birthday, and MommaBear (who seems to have been fairly quiet lately). Both ladies have been regular correspondents and very encouraging when blogging gets tough. Kathy in particular has many hints and tips of a technical nature...
http://site-essential.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 05:00 AM | Comments (2)
A.E. Brain
I forget just how I came across Mr. Brain - but his site has always been a fascinating read. I used to drop by regularly to read his posts on cognition and thought - a sort of followup to my studies in CogSci.
Then when we found out that OJ had Asperger's Syndrome, Mr. Brain was extremely supportive with suggestions and encouragement.
In addition to his work on his own blog, Mr. Brain also regularly posts at The Command Post.
http://aebrain.blogspot.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 04:00 AM
All AgitProp, All the Time...
On the radio last weekend there was some discussion about how the denizens of the North American continent didn't really understand some forms of Australian humour. In particular, cynicism and sarcasm were mentioned. Well, I personally disagree and I doubt that anyone could point to a better, more highly tuned, example that Paul Jané. Apart from being Frozen in Montreal, Paul is infamous for two things: his ability to dish it out to nitwits and his love of Zils.
Paul flies the 'Red Ensign' - an indicator that he would like Canada to return to the days when it was not (in Paul's words) Bananada.
http://fim.ondragonswing.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 03:00 AM | Comments (1)
Selective Amnesia
Now for some variation, I would like to add an Indian blog. Chandrachoodan from Selective Amnesia has been around for a while in different places - even to the extent of having a guest spot on my blog and a test blog on my old server. For a different perspective on life and things that matter, pop over an visit (when he gets back from Bombay).
http://www.selectiveamnesia.org/
Posted by Ozguru at 02:00 AM | Comments (1)
Read My Lips
From a southern belle to a southern gent... Tiger lives somewhere in the state of Texas and is one of the prime movers behind "The Blogs O' Texas" and also USURP (United Society of Unusually Responsible People).
Apart from being a lawyer (insert lawyer joke here), Tiger is also becoming an author... I have already committed to buying (and circulating) some of his output based on the extracts he has published on his blog.
He regularly posts the 'Nightly Navel Gazin' Report' and worries about a lack of comments.
http://tig.mu.nu/
Posted by Ozguru at 01:00 AM
January 02, 2005
If Kerry Had Won?
[Found over at marmalade dot ca:
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
by Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers, Torquay, Devon, England
To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs
. 7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
16. Last but not the least, and for heaven's sake.....it's Nuclear as in "clear" NOT Nucular.
Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (3)
Kat's Stuff
Now I have never met Kat personally... but I have spoken to her on the phone (when I was in New York). I don't think that counts as "met"... Kat has a beautiful (sexy) southern accent - think any Hollywood movie with a Southern Belle and you have the tone and phrasing down pat.
Her blog has a lot of posts which follow a stream of consciousness which are always both fascinating and funny. Take the time to pop in and visit her.
Oh and congratulate her on her recently-graduated daughter (must be adopted given that Kat sounds about 21...)
http://www.katsstuff.com
Posted by Ozguru at 05:00 AM | Comments (2)
Tan Lucy Pez
Following up on a (kind) comment, I found a blog which unashamedly admits to simply being a commentary on other blogs:
I have this BLOG so that I can comment on other BLOGS. It's a very boring BLOG.
The winning point, however, was the excellent money-raising idea in this post :-)
http://www.tanlucypez.blogspot.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 04:00 AM
Dusting My Brain
Squipper is a real lady - she took time out to show me around New York (even after she sprained her ankle). She is heavily into podcasting and has lots of humour and some fantastic photos on her blog.
http://dustingmybrain.com/
Posted by Ozguru at 02:00 AM
Gray Monk, The
The Gray Monk happens to live in a whole other country (the UK) and for a number of years I was privileged to be his brother-in-law. Things have changed and unfortunately, the XFN system doesn't really seem to have an option for ex-relative so I settled for 'kin' which is a nice way of saying that there is still a link between us.
He will be moving shortly to mu.nu like me :-)
http://graymonk.mu.nu/
Posted by Ozguru at 01:00 AM
January 01, 2005
Cricket
I spent part of my lunch time catching up on lots of blog reading including this gem at the recent revitalised Aussie Courier. It includes some terminology explanations for foreigners at the end including this explanation of cricket:
Cricket: Game played with two teams of 11 (and a back up - the '12th Man'). One team fields and one bats (2 at a time). The fielding team produces 'bowlers' who try to aim a hard red ball past the batters into 'the stumps'. The 'batsmen' are trying to score runs (running between wickets) without the stumps being hit, or without being caught 'on the full' with their batting.
Personally I prefer the more traditional explanation:
Cricket: You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!
Now if I haven't lost all the readers in that completely accurate (and completely useless) description I would like to try putting it in American terms. Take a baseball game. Instead of running around the diamond, run back and forth between two points. Add another hitter (batsman) who starts at the other end. Every time you manage to get both batsman from one end to the other, your score 1 run. Now you get to keep on scoring runs until you get caught (that's right, you just have to catch the ball on the full) or the ball gets to 'base' (wicket) before the batsman does. Still following? Now slow the whole thing down, add lots of incomprehensible extra frills like light signals, tea breaks and restrictions on the pitchers (bowlers) actually hitting the batsmen with the ball. There is even the equivalent of 'taking a walk' (called a bye - and you don't actually have to walk, everyone just pretends that did). How much do you slow it down? Well a decent cricket match can take several days to play.
I forgot to mention that cricket got dumped in the harbour with the tea - it is mainly played in places formerly occupied by the English and it looks like this year the team to beat will be the Indians.
Posted by Peskie at 12:00 PM | Comments (3)
Happy Hogmanay
This qualifies as a TechTip because all my engineering friends have hangovers....
Just in case some of you need it, I have recycled an important recipe from last year:
Hair of the DogSingle whisky
Double cream
1 tablespoon of honey
You can learn more about Hogmanay here and there are some cooking suggestions here. The really dedicated might like to check out this site...
Regardless, I would like to wish all my readers a very happy Hogmanay and a prosperous and joy-filled New Year.
Posted by Ozguru at 06:00 AM | Comments (5)