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March 07, 2003

Help Line

I work as a systems administrator, and part of my job involves answering questions about computers. I generally like my job, but sometimes it gets on my nerves. When people ask me what I find so irritating, this is what I tell them:

Imagine that you are a salesperson for Ikea (substitute "furniture store" if you don't know what "Ikea" is). You get a phone call that goes like this.

Customer: I'd like to buy a kitchen table.

You: That's fine; we have many styles of kitchen tables, I'm sure you can find one you like.

C: I need one that's 3 feet by 5 feet and has a butcher block top.

Y: Yes, we have a table like that. You can pick it up today.

C: OK, how can I get it back to my house?

Y: Well, it comes disassembled, so you can just put it on a roof rack. We can loan you a roof rack if you don't have one.

C: But how do I get there?

Y: We're just off exit 25 of the Turnpike. Where are you coming from?

C: Wait, wait, you're going way too fast for me. I have a Toyota Celica in my driveway, and the keys are in my hand. What do I do next?

- And, whatever you say at this point, the response is always the same:

C: But all I want is a kitchen table! Why does it have to be so *COMPLICATED*!

Posted by Peskie at March 7, 2003 12:00 PM


Maybe it is time for you to call on Mr. BOFH.
Where is he BTW. Havent heard anything lately

Posted by: Ravages at February 27, 2004 06:02 AM

My favorite calls are
my computer not working.
What is it not doing?
How do you know it's not working?

the rest of the conversation just gets worse, it's like trying to pull teeth getting information out a . I have had to gown up in my cleanroom suit just to go in and wiggle a trackball to prove to someone that thier computer worked. After that I disabled 300 computers sleep mode.

Posted by: Skipjack at February 27, 2004 06:02 AM