« Woman vs Man #2 | Main | Triple Filter »

May 22, 2003

Asset Audit

[Ed: Originally posted on Slumbering Pierrot, Thu Jun 26]

Boss: Hey Mike, come in here.
Mike: Yes boss.
Boss: Mike this is Stan from Audit. He's checking asset numbers and can't find some stuff.
Stan: Yeah. Looking for .... (checks clipboard) .... two boxes of pencils.
Mike: Dunno, didya look in the stationary cupboard?
Stan: Yeah.
Boss: Maybe they've been used.
Stan: That would put you over the company average for pencil consumption. Have to take it out of your budget.
Boss: OK. What else.
Stan: Ummmm .... one PC-XT with full height floppy and green screen. Book value $12,452.
Mike: You're kidding. That machine was bought back in the 80s and is now a boat anchor.
Stan: Destroying company property is an offence!
Mike: Actually it is propping open the computer room door because the air-con doesn't work.
Boss: Don't we write stuff like that off.
Stan: You might be right, maybe they forgot to depreciate it. I'll get onto that.
Boss: Anything else.
Stan: Nope. Everythings fine .... (starts to leave)
Mike: (To Boss) Phew. That went well.
Stan: (Turning around) Just one other thing, either of you know where the aeroplane went?
Mike: Huh? Like a model or something?
Stan: No the real thing. 747. Bigger than a football field. Uses a runway and thousands of litres of fuel. We seem to have lost it somewhere.
Boss: Not around here. Where would we keep it.
Stan: Oh well, just a thought. (leaves room)

(Dramatic pause)

Mike: I told you they'd notice it eventually.
Boss: Yeah but it took them nine months and the cheques have cleared already.
Mike: Nice of that fellow to add a bonus for prompt delivery.
Boss: What was his name again?
Mike: Mr Ben Handle or was it Mr Ben Chopper, some sort of kitchen implement.
Boss: I remember, Mr Ben Ladle.

(Seriously, how could anyone lose an aeroplane?)

Posted by Peskie at May 22, 2003 12:00 PM