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December 01, 2003

Because I'm a Man

I found this lovely post over at Cynical Cyn (which is still really hard to read due to some CSS problem). There are only two problems - (1) Cynical Cyn is not male and (2) she thought this was humorous as opposed to serious. All you guys had better head over there and enlighten her.....

If this weren't so close to the truth, it would be a lot funnier!!
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't, know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If it has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it. (Though one time I was able to survive, by holding a calculator.)

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. If you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2003, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.

I think Cynical Cyn missed "mow the lawn" in the list of activities.....

Posted by Peskie at December 1, 2003 12:00 PM


Nope, mowing the lawn is mens work. It involves starting engines without keys. Wimmen are genetically incapable of starting any engine that involves anything more complicated than turning a key.
We also don't know how to take out the garbage. That's your job, mate. Live with it. ;)

Posted by: Kathy K at December 23, 2003 09:12 AM

Heh. I like that comment Kathy. Maybe we should start a list of which tasks are which?

P.S. I do mow the grass and take the garbage out but the missus brings the bins back in because the collectors usually don't finish until after I have left for work.

Posted by: ozguru at December 23, 2003 09:12 AM