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December 24, 2003

Is Santa a Woman?

I think Santa Claus is a woman....I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it...

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only lingerie suitable for street walkers, cheap perfume, or any sharp object made by Ronco which slices or dices, left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.

Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a PlayStation under the tree, still in the bag. And a male Santa would inevitably have transportation problems because he would get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't wrap presents
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail. (Except email of course)
- Men aren't interested in stockings UNLESS somebody's wearing them.
- Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up babes.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

Posted by Peskie at December 24, 2003 02:00 PM


The skinny on Santa from down-under
Um, Santa as in Santa-CLAUS, not Santa-BANTA folks. One of my oldest blogger friends, Ozguru from down under unearths the truth about Santa Claus. His series of posts on Christmas and Santa make for a veery funny and ‘informative’ read....

Posted by: Jivha - the Tongue at December 24, 2003 02:12 PM