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February 07, 2004

Three Wise Women

There is a bit of a rant over at The Gray Monk about some total dill in the Anglican synod who wants to change the "three wise men" into "three possibly not very wise persons". Daft. Absolutely and completely daft. A few snags short of a barbie (aussie slang for BBQ not a blond haired doll with really long legs).

Here is the deal. We don't know how many of them rocked up. Seriously. Go check your bible. It says that wise men came from afar (or "a fire" if you remember your Christmas jokes). The only mention of three comes from the three gifts:

Caspar: "Hey, whatcha gunna take Melchior?"
Melchior: "I figured some myrrh would be a bit prophetic."
Balthasar: "Well I'm gunna take some frankincense."
Caspar: "Maybe a gift voucher for Amazon?"
Melchior/Balthasar: "Get real. They won't have an internet connection for 2000 years."
Caspar: "How about some gold?"
Melchior: "That fits, we could even make a song out of it."
Fred (arriving late): "Sorry boys, got held up in the camel traffic. Whadda we gunna take?"
Balthasar: "Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh."
Fred: "All the good ones are taken. I'll go halves with Caspar OK?"

There may well have been more than three or there may have been two (the words used are plural so there must have been at least two). So if you want to quibble then get stuck into the numbering not the sex of the wise men.

Why ignore the sex? Well the one thing we do know for certain is that the wise persons were 100% certainly not female. How come?

If the wise men had been women then:
- they would have asked for directions
- arrived on time
- helped to deliver the baby
- cleaned the stable
- brought more practical gifts
- made a casserole

As they left, they would have said to each other:
- "Did you see that drummer boy? He can beat my drum anytime."
- "Wanna bet on how long before you get your casserole dish back?"
- "I heard that Joseph hasn't got a job"
- "That donkey is past the use-by date"
- "Did you see the sandals she was wearing with that gown?"
and the punchline: "That baby doesn't look a bit like Joseph".

Posted by Peskie at February 7, 2004 12:00 PM

Comments

Thanks for the link - I like your comments on the matter as well, but, do we know they didn't clean the stable? And where the Holy Family still living there two years on?

Posted by: The Gray Monk at February 12, 2004 08:02 AM

If they'd been women, they would have wrapped the gifts all pretty like with seasonal gift wrap and big shiny bows

Posted by: mog at February 12, 2004 08:02 AM