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May 01, 2005

Murphy's Other Laws

[From Moona over at Read My Lips...]

- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

- Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

- Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

- He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.

- She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the 'Juneflower.'

- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

- Honk if you love peace and quiet.

- Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.

- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

- It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.

- Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population.

- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

- The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

- The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

- It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

- Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

- I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

- When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Posted by Peskie at May 1, 2005 12:00 PM