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October 05, 2005

The Late News

Ronnie Barker:
We interrupt this website for a special bulletin:
"The Metropolitan Police today denied that prisoners in their custody are excessively pampered. This follows yesterday's report that a man was hustled out of New Scotland Yard with an electric blanket over his head."

Ronnie Corbett:
"And we’ve just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M-1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on."

RB: "Following the dispute with the domestic servants' union at Buckingham Palace today, the queen, a radiant figure in a white silk gown and crimson robe, swept down the main staircase and through the hall. She then dusted the cloak room and vacuumed the lounge."

RC: "After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he's looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn't find him, he's going to use both eyes."

RB: "The perfect crime was committed last night, when thieves broke into Scotland Yard and stole all the toilets. Police say they have absolutely nothing to go on."

RC: "And we've just heard that in the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned."

You can find more of the Two Ronnies here...

Posted by Peskie at October 5, 2005 12:00 PM


Oz: The Ronnies are a Riot. Thanks much for that. Actually laughing out loud.

Posted by: Old Horsetail Snake at October 6, 2005 06:51 AM