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January 24, 2006
Lawyers IV
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his heiney.
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"
For years, the young attorney had been taking vacations at a country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name." "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talking and talking, and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
Posted by Peskie at January 24, 2006 12:00 PM
