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March 23, 2006

Shopping in London

Two Irishmen in London whilst looking for work were strolling down Oxford Street.

After walking for a few minutes, Paddy turns to Murphy with a look of amazement on his face and says:"Murphy, will you have a look at that shop over there. I thought that London was supposed to be expensive but that shop is as cheap as chips!"

Murphy says: "Paddy you're right so you are, will you have a look at that. Suits £10.00, Shirts £4.00, Trousers £5.00, I think that we should buy the lot and take them back to Ireland. We would make a tidy profit selling them in Dublin, so we would."

Paddy says in agreement: "Murphy that is as good an idea as you'll ever have, but I'm pretty sure that you have to pay Taxes and duty on things like that. The shopkeeper will never let us have them if he thinks we're going to export them and make our fortune, so he won't."

Murphy thinks and says: "Paddy, I've got idea! You can do the best English accent, out of the pair of us. You go in there and do the talking and I'll just stand behind you and say nothing. He'll never guess we're Irish. No he won't."

"OK Murphy", agrees Paddy, "I'll do the talking, you just stand there and look English."

So the two visitors to the illustrious capital city go into the shop, where Paddy is greeted politely by the owner. Paddy then proceeds to do his best Cockney impression:

"Awwwight Guvnor, I'll 'ave 20 of yer 'Whistle 'un Flutes', 20 'Dickie Dirts' and 20 pairs of strides. And if yer don't mind I'll be paying with the 380 'Pictures of the Queen' in my 'Sky Rocket'."

Upon hearing this request from Paddy, the owner smiles, takes a look at Murphy as well, then says to Paddy "You're Irish aren't you?"

Quite bemused, Paddy replies, "Oh be'Jesus. Mary Mother of Christ, if that ain't me best English accent? How in God's name did you know that we were Irish?"

The Owner replies: "This is a Dry Cleaners".

Posted by Ozguru at March 23, 2006 12:00 PM