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May 11, 2003

AU vs NZ

If this isn't an urban legend, it ought to be. Robert (thanks) sent me an email with this story (reputed to be from an 'Personal Problems' advice column in a local magazine). It explains just how some Australians feel about Kiwis (makes up for the anti-Australian Kiwi joke I published the other day) ...

Dear Dorothy,
I am a sailor in the Australian Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Redfern [Ed: inner city area, infamous for aboriginal slums] and one of my sisters, who lives in Canberra, is married to a Kiwi.
My father and mother have recently been arrested growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Kings Cross.
I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Long Bay Jail, Sydney, for the rape and murder of a teenage girl in 1994, the other is currently being held in the Parramatta remand centre on charges of incest with three of his children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD.
We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancee utilising her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.
My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Kiwi?

Posted by Peskie at May 11, 2003 12:00 PM