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June 19, 2003
If Men Ruled the World
I often hear feminists complaining that men control the world. Can you believe that? Seriously if men really controlled everything then:
- Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
- If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
- Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
- Birth control would come in ale or lager.
- You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."
- Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
- "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
- At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
- It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
- Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
- Tanks would be far easier to rent.
- Garbage would take itself out.
- Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
Posted by Peskie at June 19, 2003 12:00 PM
Comments
If Men Ruled The World
What he said. Representative sample: "It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town."...
Posted by: Mister Green at May 25, 2004 07:05 AM
Beer Biceps
If men ruled the world. (Found at Mister Green's.)...
Posted by: Jennifer's History and Stuff at May 25, 2004 07:05 AM
