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November 17, 2003

Christmas Cake

Of course, you are all wondering what I could have been doing on the weekend that interrupted posting. Well here is one excuse (it may not be correct but at least it is funny). Please read it out loud for added effect:

All this talk of Christmas is making me pine for the days of yore when I would help Great Grandma make Christmas cake. Here's the recipe (as best as I can remember it, it's a little fuzzy):

You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey. NOTE: Whiskey may be replaced with your favorite swill^H^H^H^Hbeverage. Being of Scottish ancestry, we naturally used Scotch.


Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey again and go to bed.

Posted by Peskie at November 17, 2003 12:00 PM


I can remember my grandmother making a christmas cake one day while i was there with my father, & she had put in it 1 & 1/4 bottlesw of whiskey. I asked if I could lick the bowl which she said yes to. wow I'm glad achole evapourates while cooking, if I was driving I would definatly be pulled over.

Posted by: hjs at December 1, 2003 12:12 PM