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December 24, 2003

12 Days (90's style)

1: The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
Finding a Christmas tree. ****

2 (Husband):
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
Rigging up the lights,
and finding a Christmas tree.

3 (Inebriated man):
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
Bad hangovers,
Rigging up the lights,
and finding a Christmas tree.

4 (Frustrated man):
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
Sending Christmas Cards,
Bad hangovers,
Rigging up the lights,
and finding a Christmas tree.

5: The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
Five months of bills,
Sending Christmas Cards,
Bad hangovers,
Rigging up the lights,
and finding a Christmas tree.

6 (Frustrated wife):
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
Facing my in-laws,
Five months of bills,
Sending Christmas Cards,
Bad hangovers,
Rigging up the lights,
and finding a Christmas tree.

7 (Angry Man):
The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
The Salvation Army,
Facing my in-laws,
Five months of bills,
Sending Christmas Cards,
Bad hangovers,
Rigging up the lights,
and finding a Christmas tree.

8 (Loud Kid):
The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS,
All the charities,
What do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?
Five months of bills,
Oh, making out these cards,
Edith, get me a beer, huh?
What? We have no extension cords?!?
and finding a Christmas tree.

9 (Another frustrated man):
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
No parking spaces,
DADDY, I WANT CANDY,
All the donations,
Facing my in-laws,
Five months of bills,
Oh, writing Christmas cards,
Bad hangovers,
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?
and finding a Christmas tree.

10 (Toy commercial voiceover):
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
"Batteries no included",
No parking spaces,
DADDY, I WANT IT NOW,
Get a job, ya bum!!!
(sobbing) Facing my in-laws,
Five months of bills,
Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,
Oh, Jeez, look at this!
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
and finding a Christmas tree.

11 (TV announcer):
The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
Stale TV specials,
"Batteries no included",
No parking spaces,
I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!,
Bl**dy begging b*ms,
(sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!
Five months of bills,
Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
Oh, who's got the toilet paper?
Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!
and finding a Christmas tree.

12 (TV announcer):
The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is ...
Singing Christmas Carols,
Stale TV specials,
"Batteries no included",
No parking spaces,
WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!,
Bl**dy begging b*ms,
(sobbing) Gotta make 'em dinner!
Five months of bills,
I'm not sending them this year, that's it!
Shut up, you!
FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!
and finding a Christmas tree.

Posted by Ozguru at December 24, 2003 10:12 AM

Comments

Christmas time is here, by golly, Disapproval would be folly, Deck the halls with hunks of holly, Fill the cup and don't say "when". Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens, (not to mention the kangaroos) Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens, Even though the prospect sickens, Brother, here we go again. On Christmas Day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time to rob him all the more The other three hundred and sixty-four. (from Christmas Carol by Tom Lehrer) And if you want to know why I mentioned roos ya gotta go read my blog. ;)

Posted by: Kathy K at December 24, 2003 10:12 AM

Christmas Jokes Last year there was a marathon posting session with a joke every half hour on Christmas Eve. This annoyed some readers because they had to keep coming back to see the next joke (suggesting that they come back the next...

Posted by: G'Day Mate - Reviews! at December 24, 2003 10:12 AM