G'Day Mate MkII

Site Updates

Yesterday, a friend asked something about MT and mentioned that he had been checking the MT forums. I figured I had not read them for a while so I was browsing and came across some notes (sorry lost the attribution) about using includes. I already had one include but was not aware that I could embed them in individual sections (e.g. the whole links section in the sidebar is now an include as is the RSS feed section near the bottom). One thing led to another and I found a reference to page/comment/ping counting. One thing led to another and I found that someone had in fact solved the ping part already.
This then led to another thing (isn't it always like that with computers) because the same author distracted me with some more cool modules including MTCountdown so that I now have not only counters but a blog age calculator as well (see bottom right).
Next for the stats. I already use awstats internally but I have no intention of releasing that to the general public. What I wanted was more like a popularity poll (and this might be a way to do it). I also want to do inlining of the trackback pings like this site because that will provide an "instant link" for the blog economy counters (see this article for more comments about it).

IANAA

(I am not an American) but this story is really scary. Go read it and then come back here. The premise is that the Supreme Court in the US would be more ideal if the decisions were completely random. In which case we could replace the justices with a random number generator! I would tend to think that judges clumping together (i.e. all voting the same way) would be a better indicator of idealism from the public perspective.
From the perspective of an outsider, I already thought the justice system in the US was strange (e.g. Microslosh being convicted of abusing it's monopoly and being given a light slap on the wrist). Add a perfectly random supreme court and it would make the US a complete laughing stock.
In out situation the courts (particularly the High Court) are only allowed to interpret the law, not make the law (although there have been a number of recent attempts to get around this, most related to native title) this provides a check and balance both against the government (who make law) and the judges (who are still answerable to the law).

I guess that a random number generator would be cheaper to run - just make sure that it wasn't created by Microslosh, they already control most of the court system.....

Wee Drink

The SMH now has a section for "silly stories" (most of them fall into the urban legend category). This particular item is about a maid tampering with the drinking water. The instant I saw the headline I was recalling the Terry Pratchett comments on how the wealthy labelled their drinks Nig, Yeksihw, Nobruob so that the servents wouldn't know what was in them. He pointed out in a footnote to a footnote that in fact this didn't stop the employees from topping up the Yeksihw with Enirue.

What happened?

Seems to be a conspiracy ... what exactly happened nine months ago? As I mentioned earlier, my brother has just had a baby. Obligatory picture:

Then I spot another blog recently blessed at AMGCTLD and they in turn mention another.

Seriously though, this is good example of where we humans try to see patterns. In this case it is unlikely to be any more than coincidence but because of the way we shape our world we persist in trying to establish patterns.

Unseriously, I assume you have all heard the old saw about the woman "somewhere in the world, giving birth every minute" and therefore you would all remember the correct response "why doesn't somebody tell her to stop!"

Congratulations to all the parents. I have to be modest and (as all of the parents would agree) none of the others are as beautiful as my (their) own :grin.

Books for Sysadmins 2/3

Second in the series of books for Real Sysadmins (as before, clicking the image will take you offsite!)

Who is this man?

There is a great photo over at All AgitProp of the host dressed in a kilt. Brings back memories of family events with various members correctly attired. In fact it reminds me of a Great Aunt (only recently deceased, the Scots live a long time) who was a kiltmaker. She would have taken one look at the tartan and given you the history. I am guessing wildly that it looks like Canadian Air Force Blue but I am no expert. I will have to dig out a shot of the family tartan (Stuart of Bute). You know I was in high school before I learned that Auld Lang Syne was not about my grandfather (my mother's maiden name was 'Auld').

There is an old joke about Queen Victoria visiting some soldiers after a war (Crimea?) and some were Scots. Struggling to find common ground with the wounded she eventually asked one kilt-attired gent about the accouterments because what with the mud and all it could be somewhat awkward. When the question appeared to be misunderstood, the Queen was more direct: "Is there anything worn beneath the kilt?" The Scot drew himself up and responded along the lines of: "Ah canna speak for the others, but there's nothing worn beneath my kilt, its all in perfect working order." :-)

Actually writing that joke reminded me of an Andy Stewart song ("Andy Where's Your Kilt") which has lyrics similar to:

...A lady passing by me, suddenly fainted at my feet.
If you want to know my lad, well here's what happened then,
I looked down and she looked up and she fainted once again...

P.S. If you were wondering why Paul was wearing a kilt, check for the answer in this post.

Share trade on the loo?

Another institution (Commonwealth Bank) is also advertising on the toilets. Sort of appropriate in a way given the slogan: "There is a much smarter place to trade". Yup. Anywhere but a public loo would be a good start....

Click on gif for higher resolution file.

Woman vs Man #3

Why women live longer than men (from Theepan):

Political Football

Thanks Pete for this entry:

Football Rules from Various Political Structures
SOCIALIST FOOTBALL: After you score, the state takes half your points and redistributes them to the opposing team.
COMMUNIST FOOTBALL: After you score, the state takes away all your points and gives you back what the Central Bureau of Points designates as appropriate (according to your needs).
FASCIST FOOTBALL: After you score, the state takes away all your points and sells them back to you.
NAZI FOOTBALL: After you score, the state takes away all your points and shoots your team.
BUREAUCRATIC FOOTBALL: After you score, a tax of 80% will be imposed on the points. 10% of your points will be given to the scoring disadvantaged, 10% of the points will be given to the opposing team as an incentive "not to score," while 60% of the points will be used by the state for administration.
CAPITALIST FOOTBALL: The Super Bowl -- Winner Take All

Of course if I was being really cynical I would change the COMMUNIST entry to read something like: After you score, the state takes away all your points and gives most of them to the children of the elite members of the part and then gives you back what the Central Bureau of Points designates as appropriate.

We could also add some:
AUSTRALIAN FOOTBALL: Each player would be deemed to owe the government a certain number of points (indexed by inflation) to be repaid along with their annual tax bill provided they score over a certain number of points in the year. Also there would be a 10% surcharge for Medicare, a 10% surcharge for East Timor, a 10% development fund surcharge (to further develop the game), a 10% surcharge for the munitions used in Iraq (we have to refund the cost of these to the Americans as a reward for helping), a 25% surcharge for the federal politicians retirement fund, a 15% surcharge for the state politians retirement fund and a 30% "income" tax. All percentages to be applied against the total points scored, any deficit to be carried forward.
ENGLISH FOOTBALL: No plan to win any points so allocation of points irrelevant.
FRENCH FOOTBALL: If they score, ten points will automatically be deducted for being arrogant and unsufferable. If the other side scores, ten points will automatically be deducted for being arrogant and losing.

Any more suggestions?

Mea Culpa

Sometime this morning about 4AM, BotB went off the air. My fault. I was trying to be proactive yesterday and was cleaning up some old files to make sure I had enough free space. Unfortunately the QT Streaming Server was reading some of those files and it went bananas. As a result it filled about 8Gb of disk space in 3 hours :-(

I have killed the QTSS (iTunes 4 gives me the same functionality) and resuced the space. BotB dies because the site is auto-rebuilt every hour to make sure the RSS streams stay current (see lower right column for an RSS stream from 'Hi, I'm Black!' the best read on the web).

Sorry for the unexpected outage. I will try to plan ahead for the next unexpected outage. As Dilbert's boss said: We must make allowance for all the unplanned contingencies.

Last word on iLoo

All over Sydney, the Microslosh ads are appearing. Sometimes in the silliest places. Don't know about you, but this picture (Cnr Elizabeth & Oxford Streets) reminds me of the iLoo story :-). I wonder how many people decided that the risk of having their photo taken in the loo was too great ...

Click on gif for higher resolution jpg file.

Flat Tyre

I'm sure this is an urban legend (or it ought to be) but given that Theepan sent it, I have to post it :-)

Last semester, there were four students, good friends, taking Object Oriented Programming.
They did very well on all their lab exercises, lab exams, assignments, and HD projects. Each student thought they'd get an HD. These four friends were so confident with the Multiple Choice Exam approaching that the weekend before, they decided to go down to Canberra and party with some friends there. They had a great time.
However, after all the hard partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Sydney until early Monday morning - the morning of their Multiple Choice exam!
Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their lecturer AFTER the exam and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to Canberra to do some research in the ANU archives for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but unfortunately, they had a flat tyre on the way back, and that they couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they only just arrived now!
The lecturer thought it over and then agreed they could make up their final exam the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied hard that night - all night - and went in the next day at the time the lecturer had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, (the exam was being marked out of 30) and told them to begin. The first question was worth one mark:

1. This question refers to method "swap", which is part of class "SelSort" (see attachments). The missing code from "swap" is:
(a) temp = x[j]; x[j] = x[i]; x[j] = temp;
(b) temp = x[j]; x[i] = x[j]; x[j] = temp;
(c) temp = x[i]; x[i] = x[j]; x[j] = temp;
(d) temp = x[i]; x[j] = x[i]; x[j] = temp;
(e) temp = x[i]; x[j] = x[i]; x[i] = temp;

Each quickly answered the first question, with the correct answer, "c". "Cool" they all thought in their separate rooms, "this is going to be easy."

Then turned the page.

Question 2 (for 29 marks): Which tyre?
(a) front left
(b) front right
(c) rear left
(d) rear right
(e) none of the above

Lunchtime Roundup

Top news of the hour is that Hi, I'm Black is apparently 10th of the list of the "Top 50 Interesting Newcomers" ovar at Technocrati. Way to go Glenn!

Apparently something has been found in Iraq (also see here) but it probably isn't our old friend.

As the Apple Turns (AtAT) got a mention in Forbes but no link (which will make it harder for the punters to follow up). AtAT is covering the performance story and suggestions about converting a G5 into a (very heavy) laptop.

The question about the performance of the G5s is also raised at CARS where the headline story says that Apple has admitted lying about the size of its customers rear-ends. Apparently the settlement involves more honesty from Apple and customers eating less fudge :-).

Microslosh have apparently released two more security patches for some dodgy products. Could someone remind me again what the downside was when Microslosh stated that there would be no more IE? One less product to patch, one less insecurity, what's not to like?

Adobe have released a patch for Photoshop 7 that makes it "100%" faster on the G5 hardware (that nobody has yet). This is probably to make amends for being so slow to get Photoshop running under MacOS X in the first place.

Last but not least, there is an entry in the SMH that covers some of the same issues raised the other day. It touches on the question of "morning after" abortion pills and raises a query about the birthrate in countries like the US. The article finishes with this quote: Anything that lowers our abortion rate is welcome. But too little is known about the morning-after pill for it to be casually sneaked onto the pharmacy shelf. Buying the pill at the local chemist trivialises an issue with potentially grave psychological and health consequences. Women deserve to know the truth about whether they are getting a Clayton's abortion, the abortion you get when you don't think you're having one.

Are you a liberal?

[Ed: Originally posted on Slumbering Pierrot, Thu Jun 26]

As a blog friend stated recently, the answer depends on the definition. That's useful but not helpful and I doubt that a dictionary definition is going to help because of the lack of context. In fact the lack of context suggests that different people might have different ideas about what the word means. In fact, the term probably has specific meaning to different people (for an Australian, the question is similar to asking an American if they are 'republican').

Because I am biased (I have been to America), I thought it would be more useful to interview a local and get his opinion in a completely meaningless survey:

Introducing: Charlie from the Outback (of Australia). A translator has been used for those of you who find it hard to read strine [Australian].

Me: Hello Charlie.
Charlie: Gdaymate, owaryagoing orright? [Hello]
Me: How are you?
Charlie: Carncomplain, nawon lissens. [Fine thank you]
Me: Are you a liberal?
Charlie: (Shocked) Nah mate, national orl the way, mate. Karnt stan the bastards. [I support the National Party]
Me: Have you seen my aeroplane?
Charlie: Nah mate, sgorn for a smokko [???]

Explanation: In Australia there is the labor party (union based, only-just left of center, workers), the liberal party (employer based, only-just right of center, economics) and the national party (farmer based, center, agriculture). There are other specialist parties for rednecks (One Nation, Shooters), socialists (democrats, communists) and environmentalists (greens) but the big three hold the power with an alliance between the liberals and nationals currently governing Australia.

Basically the question is one that does not "translate" across cultural boundaries. I think (guessing wildly) that an American would link the concept of "liberal" with someone who has a relaxed attitude to things. Conceptually it is hard to imagine a right-wing conservative party as being relaxed and so the term does not translate. The closest thing here might be the former democrats (who are more relaxed than most parties) or possibly the marijuana party (who never seem to get organised enough to get elected). Personally I would rather call myself flexible than liberal. I am aware that there are people out there who do not share my point of view and I am prepared to allow them to continue to do so. That does not mean that I accept their view as being correct or even valid but it does mean that I have no objection to them holding that view as long as they return the favour .

OK. Let's cut to the chase. What do I really believe (or vote - remember that voting is compulsary in Australia)? I am a WASC (White Anglo Saxon Catholic) married to an "ethnic" (horrible word) migrant. My policy is normally to vote against the incumbent on the theory that politicians are like babies nappies. If you leave them for too long, they end up full of sh*t.

Triple Filter

[Thanks, once again to Theepan - I think he needs a blog of his own for all these jokes, what do you think?]

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge and truth in the highest esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
"Just a moment," Socrates replied." Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a small test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend,it would be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually, I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not."
Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though because there's one filter left: The filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"
"No, probably not."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
This is why Socrates was a brilliant philosopher and was held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out his best friend was banging his
wife.

Escalation

It is one thing to "mouth off" in your own blog. After all, if you don't like what you read, go somewhere else. The internet is a big place and no-one is forcing you to read their material (yet). If you object to something, you can add a comment to the article or write your own article. You can send emails. You can complain in on-line forums. You can send the link to friends, etc.

What you don't do is directly attack the person involved.

I have commented in the past on controversial issues like the KKK and more recently Tibet. Some things I have ignored - like the Moxie argument (two chicks, similar site names). Someone else didn't ignore it, they crossed the line. Read about it here or here.

If I was local to the situation, I would be encouraging Ms Moxie to sue (and I hate lawyers) her employer for unfair dismissal and the b*rst*d for sending the fax.

BTW I note that Paul is no longer "freezing in montreal", his byline now reads "Melting in Montreal (until I pull off some sort of miracle and find an air conditioner)". Seems funny when we are having such a cold snap here to imagine having to use an air-conditioner :-)

Mailing lists

Thank goodness for mailing lists. I subscribe to the fantastic NewtonTalk list via the digest method. Twice a day I get a collection of posts which I try to read each night. Occasionally I ask questions but more often I "lurk" and answer questions that I can. Well, last night (from my perspective), someone asked about NetHopper and the package install problem. Found this bug, got annoyed about it, searched for solutions and gave up. Well it turns out there is a fix (see this link) for details.

I know most of you don't care but it really helps me ...

Asset Audit

[Ed: Originally posted on Slumbering Pierrot, Thu Jun 26]

Boss: Hey Mike, come in here.
Mike: Yes boss.
Boss: Mike this is Stan from Audit. He's checking asset numbers and can't find some stuff.
Stan: Yeah. Looking for .... (checks clipboard) .... two boxes of pencils.
Mike: Dunno, didya look in the stationary cupboard?
Stan: Yeah.
Boss: Maybe they've been used.
Stan: That would put you over the company average for pencil consumption. Have to take it out of your budget.
Boss: OK. What else.
Stan: Ummmm .... one PC-XT with full height floppy and green screen. Book value $12,452.
Mike: You're kidding. That machine was bought back in the 80s and is now a boat anchor.
Stan: Destroying company property is an offence!
Mike: Actually it is propping open the computer room door because the air-con doesn't work.
Boss: Don't we write stuff like that off.
Stan: You might be right, maybe they forgot to depreciate it. I'll get onto that.
Boss: Anything else.
Stan: Nope. Everythings fine .... (starts to leave)
Mike: (To Boss) Phew. That went well.
Stan: (Turning around) Just one other thing, either of you know where the aeroplane went?
Mike: Huh? Like a model or something?
Stan: No the real thing. 747. Bigger than a football field. Uses a runway and thousands of litres of fuel. We seem to have lost it somewhere.
Boss: Not around here. Where would we keep it.
Stan: Oh well, just a thought. (leaves room)

(Dramatic pause)

Mike: I told you they'd notice it eventually.
Boss: Yeah but it took them nine months and the cheques have cleared already.
Mike: Nice of that fellow to add a bonus for prompt delivery.
Boss: What was his name again?
Mike: Mr Ben Handle or was it Mr Ben Chopper, some sort of kitchen implement.
Boss: I remember, Mr Ben Ladle.

(Seriously, how could anyone lose an aeroplane?)

Blog roundup

First up there is the Sco story again. eWeek has an interview with Linus. It seems to becoming obvious that the IP was not directly developed by SCO. Instead the claim is something along the lines of "X" was developed for UNIX and we own UNIX and so we own "X". Sort of like how Microslosh depicts the "viral" GPL but in reverse.

Next we have some rude people. Surfin' Safari will not longer provide the option to add comments to items because it was turning into a bug reporting facility. Come on people, thats what View->Bug is for. I grabbed 1.0 yesterday, tried it out, noted that an existing bug that annoys me is still there so I submitted a bug report. I didn't go hunting for blogs that talk about Safari to post my bug. As Dave points out, it is a bit like interrupting a conversation but talking about something unrelated.

Third up we have a story about how a Cuban father struggles with how to handle things for his children. This topic may get revisited because it is one of the things that bothers me too. My kids are of "mixed parentage", on one side they are 8th generation Australian (and First-Fleeters), and on the other they are 1st generation (i.e. one parent is an immigrant). There is so much in both cultures that we want to pass on but not at the cost of destroying either parents history of the kids future.

Next we have more complaints about the Apple performance tests. Now I am a Mac/Newton user and an Apple shareholder BUT they shouldn't need to cheat on benchmarks. The products are the best in the market and raw speed is only one criteria for comparing systems. Also keep in mind that comparing the speed in MHz (or GHz) of processors is like comparing locations by postcode. Different countries use different systems for postcodes and what fits in one place may not work elsewhere (I hate forms that have only two letters for states - we use three). Just as I cannot compare a US postcode with a British one to determine differences in location, I cannot compare the GHz of a Pentium with the GHz of a PowerPC 970. Within one country (or one processor type), maybe but not across countries (or processor families).

Last item for this entry is this story about SPAM. My theory is that Microslosh blocked the legislation because they figure they can make money out of direct prosecution of the spammers...

Now, back to work again!

So much to say, so little time...

Must be something in the water. There is so much in my mailbox and on the web that cries out to be blogged. Some days there is nothing (you are the pigeon) and some days there is too much to handle (you are the statue).

Well today I want to start with a rant. Think back to pre WWII. Think back to the arrogance of colonial powers making arbitrary (and inappropriate) decisions about colonies and "unimportant" countries. Think about the absolute and complete sheer-bloody-mindedness of a British Prime Minister giving away a country (I have made peace in our time). I'm not debating that he bought time, I'm not arguing that it was the wrong decision, I am arguing that he had no right to do that. It was the same after WWI and WWII where the victors decided not only the fate of the loosers but also the fate of anyone not big enough to stop them. After WWI, Australia asked why it was not included in the discussions and Britain responded that it would talk for Australia. The Prime Minister of the day pointed out that Britain could not speak for the Australian dead.
[Amateur historians might like to check out Digger History which points out that the Australian death rate of 145 per 1000 mobilized was higher than any other commonwealth country - mainly due to the British stuff-up at Gallipoli.]

What bought this rant up was the absolutely unbelievable headline on the BBC news site: India and China agree over Tibet. While it is good to know that the world's two largest (population) nations are talking, but what gives them the right to decide the fate of Tibet? China's "right" to include Tibet is exactly as legitimate as their claim to Taiwan, Korea (all of it), Japan, and all the other places that at some point in time were vassal states of China. This is arrogant nonsense. What do the people of Tibet want? I exclude the opinion of those who were shipped in by China to rig the question. If the question is asked only of those born in Tibet prior to the occupation by China, what would the answer be?

It is terrible to see that India, who managed to throw off the colonial legacy of the British is now adopting British style tactics in dealing with their smaller neighbours. Surely they can do better. As for China, it has been recalcitrant about Tibet all along and so maybe the expectation of sanity and honesty is not as well founded.

Brains

As promised, here are the pictures of the female and male brain. I guess this will lay to rest the eternal argument about equality. How can man and women be identical when their brains are wired so differently?

Women

Men

Woman vs Man #2

Why women live longer than men (from Theepan):

Cow-Orkers!

I think that is what Dilbert calls them. Well, there was a good 'top 10' list the other day but I couldn't link to it (problems with blogspot) but the link is working now so why not stroll over and check out Rant time again. Target - co-workers! by Jivha (who promises to get something other than blogger any day now!).

Hello Visitors!

Checking the web stats I noticed quite a few links to this article coming from Reflections in d minor. Thanks for the link (and the hits), it is good to know someone is reading...

Naturally I follow the link data and found quite a few interesting items. The scariest entry on the blog had to be about Clinton needing a new hobby.

BTW If you liked the "Men's English" item, check out the "Women's English" as well. Tomorrow there will also be a special picture of the differences between the male and female brains :-) (sent by Theepan of course).

Blog roundup

A quick review of snippits that I found interesting around the traps.

First up is the best live coverage of the Apple WWDC announcements.

Next, the problem with the sign rings a bell. At least it was only your hands they didn't want you to wash. The sign could have excluded feet washing. Reminds me of the packet of peanuts I bought in California with the warning "May contain traces of nuts".

The next item points to a story that suggests that binary codes are much older than anyone has ever suspected. It effectively challenges the idea that "primitive" is necessarily "unintelligent" by exploring the possibility that the Inca did have a complex "written" form of communication.

Anyone remember that old rhyme about "for the want of a nail the shoe was lost...".

Over here it sounds like Rumsfeld thinks he's on South Park ("Oh my God, they killed Kenny Saddam").

Finally there is an interesting article on the benefits of accurate translation.

Catchup Time

What have we been waiting for?

P.S. I suspect that the labels are wrong on two of the diagrams. The last two look like SpecInt tests (because the results are integers) but what would I know?

P.P.S. I have been advised by an "expert" that the floating point numbers usually correspond to multiple-CPU tests so maybe the labels are right.

P.P.P.S. Note that the PC's are running 3GHz Pentium vs the 2GHz PowerPC. What you can't see in these charts is that the PowerPC 970 scales for more than 2 processors ... a lot more ...

British Sport

Another email from Ben (I think he was off sick and very bored) ...

Well the British do have to be world champions at something....

The British have retained the World Toe-Wrestling title in the annual championship held in a Staffordshire pub. About 100 entrants took part in the event, in which opponents attempt to force down each other's feet in a best- of-three "toe-down".

IQ

How about a quick intelligence test? Won't hurt you (much). For non-Americans (like myself) the tricky question is the one about innings because it refers to baseball (a peculiar form of cricket as played by Americans). For the rest of the English speaking world we would know that the answer is 20 (10 each side) unless it is a limited overs game....

Take Intelligence Test!

Books for Sysadmins 1/3

Found this book at The Register as an adlink and I couldn't resist grabbing the image. To be fair to "The Register", clicking on this ad will take you to the same site as the original image did (like a free ad in exchange for getting to show you this image).

If only someone would really write this book:

Congratulations!

Hey everybody, NZ Bear has announced the winner of the 'They Coulda Been Contenders' competition. See the deal was that the 'New Weblog Showcase' rules weren't all that clear and some blogs were late entries and therefore didn't get votes, others had link problems and so on. Any blogs that felt unfairly discriminated against were allowed to enter this alternate competition.

Don't know if it helped but Glenn had this appeal for more votes.

Here are bits of the relevant screen shots for future reference:

Woman vs Man #1

Why women live longer than men (from Theepan):

Blogger Migration

A number of sites have been commenting on the migration of various blogs away from blogger onto some alternative. Quite a few have been moving to MT (what we use here) but you may want to read free ain't cheap before commiting to it. The article is carefully written but identifies a a possible issue related to hosting MT with multiple blogs (with multiple authors). I guess I am going to read the fine print very carefully right now.

Also, one of the blogs I link to has moved. I haven't updated the links on the right yet but in the meantime, here is where you can find Jay Solo's Verbosity . Unfortunately the mail Jay sent to advise us also listed lots of other blog admin addresses and there has already been one SPAM sent to everyone on the list. As a result, that is one blog (the one referenced in the SPAM) that I will not be reading (or linking to).

[Update: I think I am in the clear with the blogs on this site (there are actually three) because it is not a paid arrangement. The other blogs are friends who are welcome to donate to MT (as I have) but my reading of the terms suggests that as long as I don't charge for MT or bundle it with a chargeable service, then I am in the clear. It does mean that I should over to host more users under a user-pays model unless I pay $$$ to MT. Technically, I could probably get around that by charging for "bandwidth" usage which would have nothing to do with what the bandwidth was used for but I can understand the MT point of view.]

We apologise ...

Returning to your regular scheduled programming as at 9:00 AM this morning. I have been away from home (and a net connection) since Friday afternoon on a "Family History" weekend. This involves searching through photo albums, old books (especially bibles), old records and lots of handwritten notes to find "evidence" for the family history. All this needs to then be scanned and/or typed up into Reunion.

Found some interesting bits and pieces relating to some of the individuals migrating to Australia especially one rogue who changed his age at every opportunity. He was born in Sydney, Devon, Sussex, Kent or London (depending on which form he was completing) and he was born sometime between 1830 and 1840 (again depending on the form). He had at least three wives (at different times) and lots of kids but the last wife filled in his death certificate with 'No living issue' (he had grandkids at that point in time).

Reputed to have been a "nice bloke", but "James No-Middle-Name Ashdown" is a real pain to decode!

P.S. Just in case any readers are family history buffs and they happen to find the name Ashdown, this James died in 1895 in Balmain (Sydney), parents were George Ashdown and Jane Carmen. The wife we are interested in was Julia Morey.

Blog Voting

Trying to make sure the votes don't scroll off the page before they get counted....

From The Truth Laid Bear's New Webblog Showcase:



Dog of Flanders / Furandaasu no inu: You may have read this before: A guide to the successful showcase entry

Hi. I'm Black!: Bret Boone on Steroids?

More Dog Latin

[Ed: Previous discussion of Dog Latin can be found here and here.]

While trying to confirm the correct spelling for the Latin abbreviation RIP, I found this article from the BBC. It includes the announcement from Lord Chief Justice Woolf who claimed that removing Latin from the legal environment was "pro bono publico".

Other gems include a comment about "En Loco Parentis" (me father's a train driver) and someone else who pointed out "Any attempt to get rid of status quo is fine by me". Someone else mixing Latin with French commented: "Even though this move might seem a bit avant garde, most people weren't au fait with legal Latin anyway. It's typical of the laissez faire attitude which is so de rigeur. Oh well, c'est la vie." and finally there was a limerick (without translation):

A nervous young lawyer named Rex,

Was sadly deficient in sex.

When arraigned for exposure,

He said with composure:

"De minimis non curat lex."

Any Latin scholars care to provide a clean translation of that last line?

English as She are Spoke

[Ed: The uncorrected title read "English as She is Spoke". Thanks MommaBear for noticing it...]

I often see things circulating the net with examples of bad English usage from round the world. While funny, they can be explained by considering that English is not the first language of the people concerned. Our attempts to convert English into their languages are probably just as funny. However, the attached items of strange English are examples found in London. In many cases, the author of the sign or note was trying to use the correct phrase but it just didn't work. This was from Patrick in England:

Spotted in a toilet of a London office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON DOOR - BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Coincidence?

Just when I go and make comments about the death penalty (not the the main theme of the article but certainly featured), I find that one of my blog-friends is thinking about the same topic (scroll down or search for "Should we have the death penalty"). Wish I could work out how to point at the article instead of the blog - Hey Jivha, how about MT?

Well written article which looks at the pros and cons for using the death penalty for rapists. Jivha makes the really key point that the terminology used is essential to defining the scope and possible impact of the sentencing.

I can only add that I figure a serial rapist (i.e. repeat offender) seems like a pretty good candidate. Normally here (in Australia), the jury does not hear about previous convictions when determining guilt or innocence but the judge gets that information before sentencing. If the death penalty was reserved for repeat offenders, then the jury could decide without worrying about the penalty (because they are only considering one case) but the judge can "do the right thing".

Robert Heinlein would disagree. In his book "Starship Troopers" (not the movie which left a lot of the philosophy out) he ponders the situation where a rapist (or murderer) is convicted and then later released and then re-offends. At this point, it could be considered that those who released the fellon share some of the blame because it could be argued that he (or she) is mentally deficient in some way (the humanity left out). The question of temporary insanity is also addressed with the conclusion being that there are two options: either the person is beyond redemption because of this mental twist or they will recover but be unable to live with what they have done (and hence become suicidal). The suggestion is that a sane person could not live with the horror of their own misdeads and would effectively give themselves the death penalty.

P.S. Yes, I know it is only a book, but it does provide an alternative point of view.

Honesty in Politics

After yesterdays brickbat, here comes a bouquet - in Column 8 today, there is a brief mention that the NSW Treasurer, Michael (Fine Me) Egan, is transferring the "Infringement Processing Bureau" from the NSW Police to the Office of State Revenue (under Treasury). The IPB collects $AU2.4 million each year in the form of fines for speeding and other misbehaviour.

The honesty part comes in admitting after all this time that the collection of fines is really just another revenue raising exercise. Brings back the old question of quotas, which the police claim don't exist. Of course there are no such things but as a profit generating center, promotions go to those who show the most profit.

Contrast this with item 5 in this list and check out the comments as well. Don't forget to convert mph to kph....

Missed out

The site AMCGLTD (and no, I don't know what it stands for) has a story about how to fix your teeth. I am really interested because I have to wear braces - unfortunately I am already married!

Sounds like an urban legend to me. Other sources include Yahoo(includes pictures) and in the SMH/Age yesterday (story now costs $0.65 to read).

As I Mature ...

From Theepan (of course):

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Roe (now) vs Roe (then)

The Sydney Morning Herald had a story yesterday entitled "Roe seeks to kill Wade" which could, perhaps, have been a little more selective. For those who have no idea (or have never taken sides) in the abortion debate, "Roe vs Wade" was the key court case in the US which ultimately made abortion legal. The story (as reported) is in the extended entry section because the SMH will make it inaccessible after 24 hours (or thereabouts).

Other (probably saner) discussion can be found at "Jaboobie and Two Hard Boiled Eggs".

The gist of the story is that Roe (actually Norma McCorvey) who in 1970 tried to (legally) have an abortion in Dallas. The decision made by the Supreme Court in 1973 changed the political landscape completely (bit late for Roe who gave her child up for adoption). Now Roe wants the court to invalidate that decision and her lawyer will argue that life begins at conception (something which has always been taught by the Catholic Church).

Obviously there will be an outcry and lots of protest that Roe could "turn her back" on the Abortion Rights (or Wrongs) movement. These same protestors will probably complain about people adopting "foreign" babies (because there are no local ones available for adoption) and the inhumane death penalty for convicted criminals.

Taking those one at a time, think about the fact that some couples can't have children for various reasons but would still make swell parents. Once upon a time they would have adopted children but there are so few available that it has become and almost impossible task. Unless you go overseas.... The only alternative is the "test tube" option which is heavily underwritten by the government. The end result appears to be thousands and thousands of fertilized ova which get discarded and maybe a few (very expensive) children.

Now think about the death row argument. Most people feel that the death penalty should be either phased out or much less readily applied. Personally I can see both sides and there are cases where I think it would be acceptable to condemn a homicidal manic to death BUT and this is a really big BUT (bigger than my BUTT which is not inconsiderable) the same people appear to be happy to condemn unborn children to death. These are not "appendages" to a woman, these are not "scraps" or "tissue" to be surgically removed. They are children and we kill them. We kill them without thinking. We kill them without remorse. In the process part of us dies too and I think that is the point that Roe is now trying to make.

P.S. I don't want to get into a heated argument about rape cases and population growth. You go down that path and you are arguing about the symptoms not the problem. In many cases there are alternatives to getting pregnant in the first place (like restraint and self-control and self-respect).

Quoted from the SMH:

Roe seeks to kill Wade
By Bill Miller in Dallas June 19 2003

Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Knight Ridder

Government waste

What is worse than the government wasting money by sponsoring silly community efforts? Here is the story from Spike today:

And to think they're only a few hours behind us. Perth sex-worker group Phoenix has come under attack from the West Australian Government, which says the group is producing inappropriate promotional material with public money.
West Australian Training Minister Alan Carpenter has ordered the withdrawal of a workshop about towel folding in brothels from a Government-funded education conference being hosted by the group.
Titled Whore-i-gami - the Art of Towel Rolling, Folding and Shaping in the Sex Industry, the workshop was to have been presented at an adult conference tomorrow.
But Carpenter says it's completely inappropriate for a community education event, to which the Government had contributed about $40,000.

Whats worse than spending the money? Not getting value for it. Now the event is cancelled (but presumably paid for), there is no return on the investment. What is that phrase again? Money for Jam but the Jam is Free!

Penrith

No matter how you feel, you still take notice when someone mentions your name. The same thing happens when someone tells a story about a place that you have been - somehow the story appears to be more important.

Well Spike (from the SMH) had an entry about Penrith on Tuesday. I was born in Nepean Hospital (in Penrith!) and lived nearby during my "formative" years so a news story about Penrith grabs my attention. Anyway it appears (and I quote):
Penrith locals are well known for their passions, like cable skiing across the man-made lakes at Panthers World of Entertainment. But little did Spike realise what a bunch of romantics Penrithians were. According to sales figures for Harlequin Mills & Boon books, Penrith is the publisher's strongest market in Sydney.
With a story like that, who needs a punchline?

Vet's Bill

From Theepan (you too can have your name here, send me a joke or a link and I am happy to give you the credit for passing it on or for being the author):

A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary clinic. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away." The distressed owner wailed,
"Are you sure? I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returning in a few moments with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet escorted the dog from the room and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and delicately sniffed the bird. The cat then sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but, like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably dead."
He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "A HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS!" she cried. "A HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS just to tell me my bird is dead?"
The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan.....it's $150.00

Lucky Simon

[WARNING: This item contains complete and unbridled speculation with no basis in reality - in other words, I can't be bothered checking the facts but you will get the gist of the matter anyway!]

Background: We have two political parties in Australia. Well two that count. Well actually three but two of them are joined at the hip pocket. Well actually lots of little ones (but I am ignoring them for now). On the left we have the Labor party and on the right we have the Coalition (Liberal + National). At the Federal level, the Coalition are in charge of the monkey-house and the Labor party are opposing them. The leader of the Coalition (Little John) is the Prime Minister and the leader of the Opposition is Whats-His-Name. Whats-His-Name has the distinction of being more disliked than any other leader (at any time) including Paul Keating.

More History: When the war with Iraq was looming, Whats-His-Name oscillated rapidly unable to clearly direct his party to do anything. He was anti-war. He was pro-war. He insulted the Americans. He apologized to the Americans. Some of his party went to anti-war rallies, some to pro-war rallies. He set the party direction on Monday and changed it 5 times by the end of the week. Nobody respected the way he handled it.

Current Events: Newspoll of voters done nationwide asking about preferred Prime Minister. About 50% of coalition voters like the PM (that's normal) about 20% like Kim Beazley (the alternate leader of the opposition), about 10% picked Crean (because he is guaranteed to lose the next election and give the coalition another turn). About 99.9% of Labor voters wanted Kim Beazley and the rest wanted Paul Keating or Bob Hawke back. Got it. Ain't nobody want this dude.

Next: Kim Beazley challenges Crean for leadership of the party. Coalition runs around panicing (they have no chance against Beazley and they know it). Matter goes to the caucus (i.e. all the elected Labor party twits) and they vote overwhelmingly to retain Crean as leader. Little John immediately announces that he will run another (historic) 4th term.

Best summary comes from Spike:Spike has decided to run our own campaign to boost Simey's profile. We're going to help him find a nickname. All the other big boys in Canberra have one: Kim Beazley is Bomber, John Howard is Honest John, Little John, The Rodent or The Prime Miniature and Peter Costello is The Dog (because Jeff Kennett said he had all the attributes of a dog except loyalty).

Our three nominations for Simey are: Lucky Simon - because only 58 people in Australia think he should be Labor leader and they all happen to have a caucus vote; Simon Says - because most of the time, nobody pays any attention to him; and Viagra - because there's still no guarantee he'll ever get an election.

Qantas Faults

Another (enjoyable) urban legend (from Robert).

After every Qantas Airlines flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form used is a piece of paper on which the pilot completes the top part listing the problem, which the mechanics read & then respond to in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, so that pilot on plane's next flight can review the form before taking off.

P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed

My desk

The reason for the strange entries yesterday and today is that I am off sick with the dreaded URTI (pronounced "lergy" for the goon fans) for a couple of days. Instead of meditating on the bus I have been sleeping off the tablets and reading bits of family history ready for my family-history-weekend (coming up). Anyway, here is another couple of photos from Monday.

The first is my desk. Note the PC with no keyboard (and no power cords) supplied by my employer. Note the faithful G3 powerbook which is still my main workhorse and the Newton (just in front of the PC) for attending meetings. The big Sun monitor is used for doing presentations at my desk (hooked into the powerbook). Most of the artwork was done by my kids:

Blog Voting

Just found some "official" html code for voting on the 'Truth Laid Bear'. So here goes a vote for the two most interesting blogs at the moment (still reading a few others so I may revote later):

From The Truth Laid Bear's New Webblog Showcase:



Hi. I'm Black!: Bret Boone on Steroids?

Dog of Flanders / Furandaasu no inu: You may have read this before: A guide to the successful showcase entry

Blog Showcase

The latest edition of the Blog Showcase has started. The rules are quite different this time so you may want to check the details. Of course I would like to vote for Hi I'm Black but I noticed that the supplied story is actually not registering properly. If you check out the list, Glenn is currently at #7 and there are two links shown with his entry. The top link is to the blog index page and the second link is supposed to go to his article but actually it just connects to the main site page. Better fix it dude if you want to score the votes....

AU vs NZ

If this isn't an urban legend, it ought to be. Robert (thanks) sent me an email with this story (reputed to be from an 'Personal Problems' advice column in a local magazine). It explains just how some Australians feel about Kiwis (makes up for the anti-Australian Kiwi joke I published the other day) ...

Dear Dorothy,
I am a sailor in the Australian Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Redfern [Ed: inner city area, infamous for aboriginal slums] and one of my sisters, who lives in Canberra, is married to a Kiwi.
My father and mother have recently been arrested growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Kings Cross.
I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Long Bay Jail, Sydney, for the rape and murder of a teenage girl in 1994, the other is currently being held in the Parramatta remand centre on charges of incest with three of his children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD.
We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancee utilising her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.
My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Kiwi?

What is this?

Real Bus

As you can probably guess from the previous entry, I took my old QuickTake camera to work yesterday. Expect a few more photos in the days ahead but here is a quick short of the bus I took to work yesterday. This is one of the newer models (so looks a bit different to the icon).

Random Thoughts

Reading an article on USS Clueless and I came across a quote:

If the French want to try to patch things up, they could start working on reducing the public paranoia about the US, especially among French cabinet officers like Defense Minister Michele Alliot-Marie: "France's defense minister criticized her American counterpart, Donald Rumsfeld, in an interview published Saturday as someone who considers the United States the world's only military, economic and financial power."

How dare the Americans assume they are the only world power! They have obviously forgotton those other great nations like.... ummm.... you know.... China (or perhaps the other China) or India or....

She couldn't have been talking about former world powers like USSR or England :-) Nor former wanna-be world powers like France...

Seriously, the only world powers around in the near future will be those with military power or population power!

Repairman

Email story from Ben:

Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working so she calls a repairman. Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. Oh, by the way, don't worry about my bulldog; he won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"
When the repairman arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovers the biggest and meanest bulldog he has ever seen. But just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his business.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

Women Drivers

From Theepan (so don't throw anything at me):

Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

Damn women drivers!

US vs France

I know this cartoon is a bit old now but I only just noticed the reference to France on the page that Bush is holding. Probably not a coincidence?

Wierd Stuff

Friday afternoon, walking to the bus stop. Waiting for the walk light are maybe five people plus me. The walk light on the road on the road to my left is green and this seagull is crossing the road. He (or she) reaches the curb near my feet and waits like the rest of us. When the light in front turns green, the seagull walks across just like we do. After reaching the far side it takes off down the road, flying about two foot of the ground! Maybe it had a previous bad experience flying across intersections?

International Airports

I spotted an item over at mrbarrett.com about the San Jose "international airport" which does not have an e-ticket kiosk. I was going to make a cutting (well attempt it anyway) comment about international airports when I had a quick flashback.
The reason for the cutting remark was my discover that for WWDC (V1.0) I would have to travel to Los Angeles and change for San Jose. There were no flights from Australia to San Jose. Not one. Not much of an international airport! Then WWDC (V2.0) was announced in San Francisco at a more inconvenient time and that ruled out having to sort out the travel.
The flashback was to a time (about 7 years ago) when I was being paid to visit clients around the countryside to iron out performance problems with their Sun (UNIX) servers. One place I had to go on a wee small plane (12 seater from memory but only three passengers) which landed at a so-called "international" airport in country NSW. We got off the plane and wandered over to the only building visible. There was no sign of the baggage so we hung around, there was no sign of anyone, anywhere. The pilot (or co-pilot) came over and unlocked a roller-door, and went into what appeared to be a garage. He came out riding a little tractor (like a ride-on mower) with a baggage cart attached to the back. As he headed out to the plane, the co-pilot (or pilot) opened up the back and chucked (translation: to throw carelessly) the bags on to the trailer. The tractor returned and the driver said: "Help yourselves, the cab will be here in a couple minutes". After collecting out bags he reparked the tractor/trailer, locked up the garage, got back in the plane and took off. The taxi (as in the Highlander: there was only one), did arrive and ran us all into town. Plenty of space because the cab was actually a sort of mini-bus.
I guess after the flashback the lack of an e-ticket booth is probably not enough cause to strip the "international" designation, at least the airport is probably staffed and can handle the baggage :-).

No more fog?

No fog this morning but it is old enough that shorts and singlet would not be enough clothing to venture out. It must have rained overnight and that means the local paper will be soaked. The local weekly paper (The Southern Courier) comes out on Tuesday / Wednesday but for some unknown reason we get ours delivered on Friday. This causes two problems. Firstly the paper is wrapped in plastic if the weather forecast for Wednesday is rain and the forecast for Friday seems to be the opposite so we only get plastic wrapping on fine days. This week was dry on Wednesday which explains the useless sodden lump of stuff next to the front gate. The second problem is that most people get the paper for the real (or in the case of our local area the unreal) estate section. This includes details of the local auctions for Wednesday night and the day inspections for Thursday. Naturally we get a copy of the paper at the local shopping center if we really want the news on time.

Maybe I was wrong ...

The other day, I posted an entry that maybe should have stewed a little longer to gain a more thoughtful flavour. Browsing blogs, I came across a reference to a site where David Sims had interviewed some KKKers around 1987. He was trying to make a point that some people may have joined the KKK for non-racist reasons. Another blogger followed up with some criticism of the original article. David responded and it was on for one and all.

The most thoughtful response that I read was written by Paul Jáne (he also posted a comment to my earlier article). The gist of Paul's comment (as I understand) is that the KKK sample was not necessarily representative nor was it necessarily honest. He also pointed out that handling this topic in the wrong way was like providing a baseball bat to a lunatic (my phrasing). My interest in the article was not so much the KKK (not being American, it is hard for me to comment without more knowledge), but in the fact that both Paul and Steve H felt that Paul's ancestory was relevant to the story. I responded (as you can read) on that basis. I felt that Paul's points were valid regardless of any other matters.

Now I have had more time to reflect and I also read some other links including Reflections in D minor and Dean's World. The thing that struck me most were the comments by Lynn on the 'them' and 'us' mentality. David may well be right, there is a problem (and Dean supports this) with the "white poor" in America BUT that does not validate the KKK. Paul and Steve may also have been right to make the distinction BUT it is still a 'them' and 'us' style situation (well actually you can't include me because I am probably half kangaroo but you know what I mean....)

A long time ago, when I was travelling in Europe, there were on the tour a number of South African students. They were all young (16-20), white and Jewish. Didn't mean a thing to me (or my wife who was born in HK) and we chatted quite happily for most of the tour. I figured (wrongly) that being a minority of sorts would mean that these people were more open to the issues of racism in South Africa. Actually it turned out that the fairly widespread opinion (there were 10 - 12 of them on the tour together) was that the rest of the world had a mistaken attitude towards 'blecks'. We tried to convince them that people are people regardless of skin colour but they were firmly of the 'them' and 'us' mentality. I even tried to explain that in some places around the world, they would be in the 'them' category but they just couldn't see it that way. We had this circular argument about education:

Him: We should stop wasting money on black education
Me: Why?
Him: Because they are incapable of learning
Me: How do you know?
Him: They never finish university
Me: Maybe because they don't get a fair education?

I seriously thought (as did Lynn) that: "The Answer was to stop putting any importance at all on race. The difference between a white person and a black person should be no greater in our minds than the difference between a blonde and a red-head or the difference between a man who was 6 feet tall and one who was 5'8". In other words, race must be no more important than any other physical difference. " and that tempered my comments yesterday. I would rather see educational assistant program directed at those who need it (not those of a particular ethnic or cultural group). I would rather see university entrance open to those who can demonstrate the ability (not restricted by race as in Malaysia). Lynn goes on to say: I was dismayed to discover that my rational notion that race didn't matter any more than any other physical characteristic was a racist attitude! . So where does that leave me. I don't want to be a racist! I would like it to be something that doesn't matter but I don't know how to solve it. I understand that it can be very deeply ingrained. Personally I would like to think that I could be like the hospital manager that Lynn mentions where the nurse (who has yet to meet him) says: "Were you told that I'm colored?" (or something to that effect). His response was, "Oh? What color are you?". [I did say something like this to a job applicant being 'interviewed' by email when she used the line 'Did the agency tell you what sex I am?' - being an IT job she was worried that we wouldn't take women and had carefully applied as K. Smith without using her first name.]

On a lighter note I remember a joke that I told the South African students on the bus but they didn't think it was funny. It was about the bad old days in the US (or anywhere else this type of racism was prevelant) where a group of people were travelling on a bus and they were fighting about who sat where. The driver finally had enough and made everyone get out. He stood on the steps and addressed them all: "I have had enough. I am sick of this black and white argument. From now on you are all green. Not black. Not white. Just green." After some discussion everyone agreed (that or they would be left behind). "OK!" said the driver, "Everyone back on the bus, dark green at the back and light green at the front".

Foggy Morning

This morning (I know it won't be morning by the time you read this but you are probably somewhere else anyway) if is very foggy. Cotton wool style foggy with the sky all grey and half the racecourse covered in mist (Yes, I live near a racecourse. No I don't own a horse). the park has just the tops of trees poking out for a sea of mist. This is as close to winter as it gets in Sydney. It never snows here and even the fog and mist will clear away by 8:30.
The scenery reminds me of two things: one is the snow we saw in Europe and the other was the fogs we used to get in the country when I was young. Of course when I was young we had better fogs, real ones with some bite to them. Funny thing is that my grandfather used to say the same thing to me. Is that truly a reflection on the general deterioration of fog quality or a sign that I am getting old?
In Europe we were travelling on a tour (no link because we hated the tour people) at Christmas time. I was sick all the way though France and my wife was sick in Italy but by the time we got to Germany and Austria we were wondering what had happened to the snow. Sure it was on the weather reports but it wasn't on us and we were wondering what had happened to the idea of a white Christmas? It did finally snow - just after midnight mass on Christmas Eve in Austria (boy that was fun, we didn't understand a word so we just sang quietly in English) and the following morning everything was covered in white. This mornings fog is only a pale reflection ...

[Addendum: I didn't have my camera but the SMH had a pretty good picture and a story to go with it:

Forklift?

This is definitely a case of how not to use a forklift. I would not like to be the fellow standing just to the left of the action:

[I thought I saw this on a blog browse recently but could not find it when I looked again. A couple of people sent me emails of it but if you know the source, send me the url and I'll publish it....]

Feeling Down?

Spotted a great post on Cogito, ergo doleo which I can't link directly to (so I'll quote instead):

I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace........It read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started."

So I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished.
So, today I have finished one bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Jack Daniel's, my Prozac, a small box of chocolates and a quart of Gin. You have no idea how good I feel.

Reading Blogs

Reading blogs can be a real educational experience. There are some very articulate people out there who have interesting things to say. One way to find them is to randomly select entries from recent lists or by following links on blogs you already read. If I like what I read then I grab the entry into NNW and if I still like it a week or so later, I add it to the links on this blog.
Why mention this? Well some people appear to go out of their way to find blogs that agree with themselves. They are more interested in the person than the content. Hence there are 'right wing' blogs that push and link to other 'right wing' blogs or 'left wing' blogs that do the converse. Surely it is the individual that matters?
This whole stream of thought was triggered by a throw away line in a blog entry which read: Paul is a conservative of color. I stumbled over this blog when following a chain of links. I read a few articles and was sort of interested and added the site to NNW. Then I checked out a few more articles but that line was hanging around in my head and so I went back and checked that I had got it right.
This may seem common sense to others but that phrase bothers me. I understand that someone could be 'colour conservative' (always wearing grays and neutral tones), but why was the phrase arse about (please excuse the 'French' but this is a stream of conciousness entry). Then the penny dropped. The reference was to the skin colour of Paul (whoever Paul is). Why? Surely Paul is entitled to an opinion regardless of his skin colour? Does it really matter whether he is a conservative with or without colour? For that matter can one really be "without colour"?
The reference was to an article about and article about an article about an article about the KKK (confused yet)? Some dude interviewed 3 KKKers many years ago who told him that they were not racist (dunno, sort of like canibals telling you they don't like meat). He posted a recent blog entry about this. Someone else attacked the article. He responded. Paul got involved and Paul makes some really valid points (like three is not a valid sample and can you really believe what three KKKers say to a journo) BUT he makes these points as Paul. Why should it be important that he is "a conservative of colour".
I know that it is just a "Politically Correct" term for categorising Paul but does it really matter. Would Paul's argument be less valid if he were white? What if he were a member of "National Action" (white racist group in Australia) or the equivilent "association of colour"? His arguments stand (and stand very well) independently of his PC classification!

Sco vs Linux

I have been preparing some comments about the SCO vs Linux issue but everytime I get the bits ready a new twist develops. Instead I am going to share all the references and links and let you read it yourself.

For an "official" open source response to the lawsuit please refer to OSI Position Paper on the SCO-vs.-IBM Complaint.

For the latecomers to this dispute, it all started way back when we were young ... the grass was greener ... the trees were taller ... and as George Burns put it: the air was clean and sex was dirty instead of the other way around ...

The best introduction to this that I have found was a comment written by Rosco Coltrane in a slashdot article. Paraphrasing his work (check the link above for the full comments):

When I was, oh what?, five years old, I remember that kind of talk in the courtyard at school during recess :
- Hey, Johnny stole my yellow marble
- No I DID NOT !
- YES YOU DID !
- It's not your marble anyway, it was mine, I just told you to borrow it, I didn't give it to you
- I'll tell my Mom Bruce stole Robert's marble, and you'll be GROUNDED !
- I DID NOT !
- YES YOU DID ! ...

*sigh*

Summary of key points:
1. SCO claims to have the rights and IP to Unix (and threatens Linux/AIX users)
2. Novell claims the rights to Unix (and that SCO has licencing rights but no IP)
3. SCO claims IBM polluted Linux by putting SCO code in the Linux kernel (this is a reduction of the original claim)
4. Robert Cringely suggests that SCO polluted Linux by themselves
5. Linux hackers claim SCO violated the GPL

The complications arise because SCO is actually Caldera (who bought SCO and used the name). Caldera used to sell their own Linux (hence the GPL problem) and Caldera were the ones contracted by IBM to modify Linux for the mainframe (hence the pollution could have gone either way).

Bob Cringely (author of "Accidental Empires: How the Boys of Silicon Valley Make Their Millions, Battle Foreign Competition, and Still Can't Get a Date") has had three recent columns which covered the issues from his perspective: Why Don't You and He Fight?, Going for a Streak-Free Finish, and Technician, Steal Thyself.

For a lighter side try these three cartoon strips from user friendly (in order): 30th May, 31st May, and 9th June.

Or alternately this explanation for senior executives (and Dukes of Hazard fans). If, on the other hand, Gilbert & Sullivan is more to your taste?

Actually I am beginning to wonder if SCO has employed the former Iraq Minister for Misinformation (that would explain both the stupidity from SCO and the lack of pictures of him at the new Chinese dam).

Spammers

Another bottom feeding scum sucker (or is that a scum feeding bottom sucker) caught in the formmail honeypot. Please Mr Spam Spider collect this email address and put it on your list, she/he has "opted in" for all the Spam you can supply: piscesali@aol.com. This character was real persistant and kept looking for more variations of formmail even after getting a sucessful hit with the first try.

Log entries:
/cgi-bin/formmail.pl?recipient=piscesali@aol.com&email=WantDis@aol.com
/cgi-bin/FormMail.pl?recipient=piscesali@aol.com&email=WantDis@aol.com
/cgi-bin/formmail/formmail.cgi?recipient=piscesali@aol.com&email=WantDis@aol.com
/cgi-bin/formmail/formmail.pl?recipient=piscesali@aol.com&email=WantDis@aol.com

Women & IT

Thanks to the anonymous (married) individual that sent me this :-)
Actually most of the women, I have met in IT are just as good (and often better) than the men. On the other hand, at a previous place of employment we loaned the technical conference room to the sales department for a marketing meeting. Walkign past, I saw three of the staff doing exactly this but they complained that the "mirrors" were a bit scratched (we used old CD's as coffee coasters and kept a pile in the middle of the table). Still, to be fair, it was not an IT organisation ...

Hope the editor doesn't delete the image....

Darwin Candidates

Some idiot has worked out how to get a real shock out of his xbox (personally paying that much for something from Microslash would be a shock for me). As some of the comments mention, this is just a Darwin Award waiting to happen....

Actually another site had already proposed something similar in jest. Now life imitates art?

The contents of the link below may be inappropriate for some viewers....

Please don't real all the comments below the article or you will discover some other very strange things that can be done with game controllers.

More iLoo madness

Check out User Friendly. Even without knowing the characters, these strips explain a lot ...

According to Aussie Courier, Apple is also getting into the iLoo business. He pointed out this article. I particularly like the PAN (Public Access Network).

Corporal Punishment

Over the weekend (and it was a long weekend too, in the greatest Aussie tradition) I have been thinking about corporal punishment. When I went to school (back in the dark ages) it was acceptable for the school to use corporal punishment as long as the parents were informed and they had signed a permission slip (normally at enrolment time). There were official guidelines (established by the school) that controlled how, why and by whom the punishment was administered. It was rarely used and in effect was more an indication that expulsion was not warranted (just like in Heinlein's "Starship Troopers" where lashes are only rewarded if the trooper can be 'redeemed').
Naturally my parents signed but it was never used on me. I was not an angel but lesser punishment) like detention and extra homework were sufficient. Out of my class of 40, only one boy was ever "paddled" and he was later expelled for some other incident.
Now, apparently, the schools have a "hands off" policy and do not use corporal punishment. How do I know? My son, who only started school this year was a prime candidate for punishment last week but didn't get it. He ran out on the road from the school. Twice. The first time, you can perhaps excuse. The second time is obviously testing the teacher's ability to deal with him. It is not only dangerous for my son but he is also setting a bad example to other little children in his class.
A relative who is anti-corporal punishment claimed that banning corporal punishment in schools was a positive thing that prevented abuse by teachers. I agree that there are some adults who may have enjoyed punishing children and this may have led to physical abuse. I hope that a quick analogy will help here: there are some drivers who speed. All the time. Not by a lot but consistently. This can injure children (even kill them). So driving should be banned for all adults (even responsible ones). Crazy?

Witty Sayings

Via email (some editing):

One of the benefits of getting older is that you get wiser as well:
* I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
* Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
* Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
* Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
* I don't do drugs anymore...I get the same effect just standing up fast.
* If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
* I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
* I got a sweater for Christmas...I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
* I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
* Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
* Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Used Car Sale

Another email (this time from Milos):
The following is an actual advertisement in an Irish Newspaper..!

* Photo Attached

Visual Tricks (7, 8, 9)

Here are the last three (much harder) faces:

If you can find any others, please let me know....

Followup to the last article:

Followup to the last article: I can't see the link between all the men in Sydney being gay and making Prince William the governor general (which BTW is a decision made by the Australian government not the British)!
Unless perhaps the suggestion is based on the idea that there are already enough royals, and it wouldn't hurt to ensure one of them remained childless!

Also some discussion about the topic can be found here.

Gay Sydney?

Doing the usual Blog check in NNW last night and I saw an entry for USS Clueless (Entry: Stardate 20030607.0351). The gist of the story is along the lines that a young lady went to Australia to find a crocodile dundee style husband. She leaves under the impression that all men in Sydney are gay.
Now, first things first. I live in Sydney. I am a man. I am not gay. (I'm not available either because I am married). Thus the claim does not stand up BUT I can explain what went wrong even though I have never met the lady concerned. You see, Australians (especially those who don't live in Melbourne) are very casual. The papers are full of blokes who were chucked out of some restaurant or club because of the dress code. Unbelievable attitude to chuck a bloke out when he has his good pair of thongs, clean shorts and a fashionable blue singlet.
Have you spotted the dilema yet? Most aussies are casual but the exception appears to be gay men who dress up like the baddie in the "Matrix Reloaded". This bird from OS hops out of the plane and takes a gander at the view. She dismisses the scruffy looking he-men and picks one that looks presentable. Bad error that!
Reminds me of the old joke: what's the difference between a BBQ on the beach and an Australian wedding. Most people pick the clothes after all you can't wear beach clothes to a wedding? Actually the correct answer is: "only one man is guaranteed to get lucky at the wedding" :-)
Of course the followup question is about the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral? "One less drunk".

[Link to USS Clueless fix at 2:30PM]

Jini

Very helpful having a Genie. Without one, lots of jokes wouldn't work (guess that's why Sun called their lovel-level java stuff Jini).

Anyway, there was this Genie who was on holidays. Bored enough to walk around the city park. He spots this fountain with the statue of the "two lovers". This couple are forever together but forever apart. Lips poised inches away but not quite touching. Genie, being a bit depressed himself at the prospect of returning to work (like in IT, he is on call 24x7) is feeling sorry for the couple so he works his magic and brings them to life for one hour (any longer would cause a union dispute). He explains that they have one hour to do whatever they want before returning to be statues again. The two duck off behind the bushes and there is lots of suggestive rustling and giggles of glee. Ten minutes later they are back. "Wow" says the Genie, "that was fast, but you still have another fifty minutes". The two statues look at each other fondly. "Want to do it again", the male statue asks. "OK" says the female, "but this time you hold the pidgeon and I'll sh*t on it".....

I guess some days you are the pidgeon and some days you get to be the statue...

Visual Tricks (4, 5, 6)

Here are the next three (not so obvious) faces:

Google

After Jivha's recent success on Google, I decided to do a bit of hunting myself.

The first thing I found was that "Bored on the Bus" (including quotes) gets me 1st and 2nd spot. Number three on the list was What to do if you are bored on the bus but it didn't include writing blog entries on a Newton!
Number four on the list is a backtrack entry I posted to 'Surfin Safari' (link no longer valid but the cache is still there). Then we have a few discussions about bus trips and mobile phones and then some more links or backtracks.

So far, so good. Search for anything else is not so good. There are some great hits (and some good advice) like this one: " You're not going to win a drag race in a bus(unless you bolt in a Porsche engine, but then again the wind drag on a breadbox is pretty severe)". Someone else wrote a report on using GPS's on the bus to stop people being bored at bus stops. Dunno about Germany but here the problem is not knowing where the bus is, but when the bus is! Also in the top 10 was this story which certainly included boredom but it had BB guns rather than buses.
I still think that I may need to change the name as most people don't seem to search with quotes (which links the words into a single phrase).

Newton Notes

It's been a few days since I posted anything from the Newton I haven't neglected my little green friend but I have been reading on the bus instead of writing. First I was reading "Apple Confidential" (signed copy purchased on Ebay) and then stuff for work. I also have a few magazines to catch upon and a pile of email.
Last weekend I found my archive of old newton software (and passwords) from 1998. That means I don't have to repurchase all the software I used to use. Some bits are missing, some files were corrupt but I guess thats what happens when you store files on floppy disks in a box.
Thinking about floppy disks, I was asked by someone "Newly Digital" why they were called "floppy" When they were quite hard. I showed them the inside of one that had been pulled apart and tried to explain about the older five inch and eight inch. they stopped believing me when I told then about the TRS Model 4 which used 2 eight inch disks, one for the OS and program, the other for data! How, they asked, could you expect anyone to believe that you could fit an entire OS on a floppy - even a zip disk would be a struggle?

Blog contest

The end is nigh but Jay Solo needs a few more links to win. I can't image what 148 links must mean in terms of traffic but I somehow doubt that the iMac hosting this blog would cope with that much load - and I am quite sure my ISP would collapse ... :wink.

Congratulations ...

From Jivha:

The wheels of justice grind slowly, but they do grind.
Also read as: Googlebots index slowly, but they do index!
I'm #1 on Google for the search phrase "jivha"!

Don't think there is any chance of being #1 with 'Bored'. Maybe I need a catchier name?

Matrix Actors

Just like Glenn, I had noticed that a lot of the residents of Zion were melanin-enhanced but I was unsure about the correct way of raising the topic without being offensive. Then I saw in the comments that Graham suggested that it was a natural result of the Matrix Universe because "because minorities of all sorts are much more likely to question that this reality is real. If the world treats you unjustly, and your belief in something different is strong enough, you're more likely to pop out of the Matrix."

Well that solved that problem. It answers the question without giving the wrong impression or starting a fight ....

I have found it very interesting to read Glenn's site (and some of the links). As someone who is also melanin-impaired I had assumed that overt racism against melanin-endowed individuals was a thing of the past. I admit running into anti-asian racism in Australia (when I was at university with a lot of oriental friends) but I was not aware of a similar attitude to other racial groups. Is that because of who I am or because the problem is different in the US?

[I do remember being warned when I went to California that I should not order a 'long black' (Australian for coffee without 'cream') although I had not previously connected that phrase with any alternate meanings....]

Salesmen ...

[From Theepan!]

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Buzz off!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money." and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of cow manure all over her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
"Well," she said, "I hope you've got a good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning."

England vs France

[EDITOR: This story may have originated from another site. The oldest reference found so far can be viewed here.]

This one is from Pat again:

Three guys - an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman - are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish" says the genie.

The Welshman says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Wales."

With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in Wales was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country."

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."

Visual Tricks (1, 2, 3)

Here are the first three (and most obvious) faces:

Blue Sky

[EDITOR: This entry was prepared by a guest author on the other side of the world. As you can tell, the quality of the writting is much better than my usual drivel ... (thanks Pat)]

I am sure that you, like many of us moles tunneling away to earn our daily crust, have been plagued recently by an outbreak of so called "blue sky thinkers" - essentially supposedly creative and original thinkers who arrive like a hurricane, have all the answers but don't know which questions they fit, and leave a trail of ruined organisations, wrecked corporations and devastated and stressed out employees in their wake. They are the product of the MBA school of thought which decrees that a manager need have no more than the most basic understanding of what an organisation does or how it is done. Perhaps you would like to consider circulating the definition I found on this subject. It is attached for your enjoyment if nothing else - as far as I am aware it is original and not copyright.

"The most important feature of a clear blue sky is that it is clear; in fact it is totally lacking in any interest or feature which distinguishes it. A cloudy sky or a sky which has scattered clouds, now that has features, ever changing, ever moving, growing and developing clouds change the skyscape and move the eye and the mind from one pattern to another. Likening thought patterns to clear skies or blue skies is just another way of saying that the mind is empty, devoid of discernable thought and totally lacking in originality."

This definition came to light during my search for a reference on a different subject that I could use in a dissertation I am trying to finish. It was not attributed and seems to be one of those "quotable quotes". Be interesting to see if it catches on.

Where Was I?

Wondering where we went? My ISP dropped the ball. This is a cable connection and there is ONE (and only ONE) heartbeat/login server. There was an electrical storm and then there was no heatbeat. Everybody dead in the water. Do they have a standby? a replica? a clue? Nope.

At least this time the support message mentioned "... if you have some other way of getting on the net, you can check the status page at ..." and the helpdesk staff were friendly BUT I still have to put up with an outage that could have been avoided with some commonsense. Hmm. Maybe they are running windows?

BTW: There may be another outage (according to their web page) between 1AM and 6AM (Australian Eastern Standard Time which is currently 10 hours ahead of GMT). It is also possible that the IP address will change ... (DNS updates should follow soon afterwards)!

No more IE?

A few days ago, I mention the AOL / Microslosh settlement. This was quickly followed by a Microslosh announcement about ending support for standalone version of IE. Additional feedback and information can be found at CNet , and Spymac .

The big question: What happens to IE for the Mac?

The big answer: Who cares?

Firstly, IE on the Mac is still at version 5.2 anyway which means that 5.5, 6.0, 6.0 with less bugs, 6.0 with less security holes, 6.0 that actually works and 6.1 are still in the pipeline. Those six versions, at the current release rate should take about 3 years by which time Microslosh will either own you outright or have been torn apart by the lawyers (theirs or the governments, could be either).
Secondly, this announcement means that Apple can freely distribute Safari as the default browser (given lack of support from Microslosh) which will mean those too terminally stupid to select a browser that understands web standards (.png anyone?) will be given a compliant browser for free.

Really, as Jack suggests on Apple Turns: "Personally, if IE disappeared overnight, we'd probably dance a little jig ..."

Unmeasurable IQ

Just noticed a story on "Hi, I'm Black" as I finished my lunch break. Glenn is referring to another blog that ran a story on a 13 year old whose IQ is unmeasurable. The 13 year old want to earn four doctorates and run for president. Until that final phrase I would have assumed that the youngster was off the high end of the scale but with an amition for president, maybe it was the other end :wink.

I seem to remember my mother telling me that the only unforgivable sin was to become a politician - I would be disowned immediately. I think her theory was that there was no such thing as a good politician (where good is a measure or right and wrong, not a measure of sucess). Now that I am older I figure that there are worse occupations (like being a lawyer?) but not all that many of them.

Anyway, check out Glenn's site for more details.

Newly Digital

A couple of recent posts got me thinking. One was a reference to the Newly Digital project which is trying to catalog some early computing experiences. The other post was at Cogito, ergo doleo and mentioned the unreality of Hollywood portrayal of people like Hackers.

My earliest computing experiences were on an Apple IIc (later a IIe) that had been donated to my high school. No one had any idea what to do with it but there were prizes (sponsored by various external organizations) for educational programs. Like most teenagers, I was always short of pocket money and the offer of $AU5 and $AU10 prizes were irresistible. AppleBasic was easy to learn and a few PRINT and CLS statements later, I was a "real" programmer with programs (i.e. science knowledge quizzes and maths testing routines) under my belt. About year 12 (last year of high school) I discovered graphics and bit-blipping. Wow, games! People paid like $AU10 for each copy of a game - not just once off like the prize money.

When I left school, I walked the streets looking for a job in a shop. I lived in the sticks (boondocks for Americans) and the nearest "city" was Penrith (on the outskirts of Sydney). Over a period of maybe three weeks, I visited every retailer in the High Street (which was actually called High Street) and the main shopping centers. Then I started again (to followup the previous visits). One of the possible prospects was the local Tandy (RadioShack) store which had a computer classroom upstairs. After the third or fourth visit, the manager said to me "Can you read?". I was indignant, "Of course I can read, I have a HSC". "That's no guarantee!", he retorted, "Can you read fast?". The deal was that the computer instructor had just quit and he needed someone to read the notes fast enough that they would then be able to teach it. I read the entire course over the weekend (without a computer to practice on) and turned up on Monday morning ready to go - completely (and very naively) confident. The boss had in fact hired an instructor after he spoke to me on the Friday so I spent the rest of the time assembling computers and cabling instead. He then offered me a job in the store selling electronics but specializing in the computer section.

So what happened to the Hollywood link? Well the main reason for wanting to do anything with computers (and the reason that the Tandy job was so attractive) was the movie "War Games" (which I now have on DVD). This movie was so cool. The best part was that the main character (an unbelievably young Matthew Broderick) had this computer. It might have looked like a toy computer but it had an acoustic coupler and an autodialer and it could play cinematic high-quality three-dimensional war games right on his little TV set. I was hooked. I wanted a computer like that. I wanted to be able to break into the Pentagon's WOPR and play war games.....

I did get an acoustic coupler. The only thing you do with it was connect to Viatel (the computer bulletin board equivalent to TeleText). It wasn't very reliable and the speed was usually under 100 baud. I used it with a Tandy Model 100 (one of the first laptops). Even though I was extremely disappointed initially, somehow I was sure that eventually computing would be like War Games (and it is like that now, 20 years later).

In the meantime, I turned into a gadget geek. I tried all kinds of computers, all kinds of equipment. I was forever fiddling with my computer systems. My Model 100 ended up with a floppy drive (it used 180Kb SS/SD and weighed more than the computer) which was unheard of for that time. I tried everything. I went to university and earned a degree in computer science, and then more degrees in related areas but there was always this itch in the middle of my back - I had not found the real thing yet. That itch was finally satisfied when I first used a Newton 2100. This was a computer that "functioned". It worked right. It fitted the internal concept of how a computer should work....

Some of you out there will be laughing at this point because I missed something. Yes, in all those years of fiddling around, I had never used a system that was designed for users - i.e. a Macintosh. I had avoided them like the plague. Really I believed that computers were supposed to be hard to use. That was the challenge. You mastered a computer the way you mastered a wild horse. You put up with the temper tantrums, the bucking, the blue screen of death. Along the way you learned, you tamed, you manipulated and you fiddled until eventually you could control it. Then you went out and bought another one. The Mac never fitted that model, it came with the perception that it was "always right" and never to be fiddled with. After the Newton, I became a "switcher" and joined the Mac camp.

The second coming of Steve Jobs was both good and bad - he combined the Mac with Unix (my home used macs, my work involves Unix) but he axed the Newton.....

Translation 101 F

This article is for women. That's right, I'm being sexist. There will be another article somewhere (Translation 101 M) for men...

OK, all you women who are still reading; this is a translation guide so that you can understand what men are saying. Forget the words, learn to recognise the underlying message...

MEN'S ENGLISH
 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins
14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you
15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

Interesting Bits!

First up is a story about a home made cruise missile. I am sure the comment from the NZAF is because they want to purchase some of these to launch at Australia. The quoted price is cheaper than anything they can buy in the international arms market.

Next item is from As the Apple Turns where they discuss the problem of the missing items. I too have had that lately (in fact one of the posts today was written about a week ago and somehow hung around as a draft without getting published for all that time).

Finally there is an item at USS Clueless about punishing the French for their opposition to the Gulf War.

IMI Update

The Iraqi Minister for Information has been spotted again. Thanks for the heads up Theepan (click for larger image):

I'm sort of expecting an appearance at the Three Gorges Dam next...

New Blogs...

The Truth Laid Bear has announced the winner for week one of the novice blog competition. Check out some of the new talent around.

Also I should note that due to an error on my part, some of the links I have been using are not being counted by the Blog Economy. Apparently the deal is that the link should not end with a /. Note that the links work for readers just not for the link counting software.

In particular I will have to fix the 'votes' for Jay Solo's Verbosity.

While we are at it, I have also added a new link on the right to 'hi, i'm black!'. Worth a read (Glenn is also the author of some of the comments on this site).

Translation 101 M

This article is for men. That's right, I'm being sexist. There will be another article somewhere (Translation 101 F) for women...

OK, all you men who are still reading; this is a translation guide so that you can understand what women are saying. Forget the words, learn to recognise the underlying message...

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious  by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

Hu's on first

A buddy sent me an email with this story. I don't know who Jim Sherman is but this was funny anyway:

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this the other day after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi : Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food
in the Middle East?

Pocket Change 2

I think there is a vacancy at Microslosh for a PR manager. Either their PR is incompetant or the company is even more arrogant that I belived possible. Right on the heels of the Microslash/AOL deal, comes the announcement that Microslash will no longer be distributing a standalone version of IE.

Stories can be found here, here, here, and also straight from the horse's mouth.

Anyone with less stupidity (or less arrogance) would have at least waited until the dust settled on the Netscape death knell before blurting out this story. It is the same inappropriate conjunction that we saw with the destruction of the Caldera court material.

Newton Notes

At the moment I am caught between two Newtons. One is a case damaged but fully functional 2000 and the other is a nice cased 2100 with an extreme case of the jaggies (and a faint backlight). What is a poor Newtie to do?

Well according to my sources (NewtonTalk & Newton FAQ) there are solutions available, even for people living in Australia. The first solution is to give the 2000 a memory upgrade. A nice fellow named Chris in WA has some memory for $US25 plus shipping, all I need then is a soldering iron and some patience (or a quick trip to the nearest uni to find a competant student). The second solution comes from a gent in the US who makes new backlights and touch screen pairs. The idea is to take out the old one and replace it (only minimal soldering required). There are in fact two different possible causes for the jaggies - it can be a result of uneven pressure on the touch screen (eg dirt under the edge of the screen) or a damaged touch screen (can be screen or connecting cable). Normally replacing the screen should fix the problem (having tried cleaning the screen first) but there can be problems where the case itself has become warped.
Since ordering a replacement screen, I also noted a suggestion on the mailing list about combining systems which suggests that I might be able to use the screen from the N2K on the 2100 or more precisely the guts of the 2100 in the chassis and screen of the N2K.
The other podular solution appears to be churning. This is where you buy a "new" machine on eBay which is jaggie-free and then sell the old one or keep it for parts. If you are prepared to pay for it, you can still buy brand new machines (in original packing) or a super (accelerated StrongArm) Newton from Canada or Germany.

On a quick re-read I notice that I didn't explain why I opted for a new screen instead of the other choices. Basically the new screen will also fix the close to failing backlight in the 2100 as well as (hopefully) fixing the jaggies. The new backlight will also be a different colour (not green)!

If you want to see some blurry pictures of the jaggies, have a look at this normal image and then this affected system. The lines are all supposed to be straight and drawn at 45 degrees. When you see doglegs and 90 degree lines, there is something interfering with the touch screen.

P.S. Before someone asks, the good image is taken on the same machine as the bad image. I drew the good image on the 2000 and beamed it to the 2100 for comparison.

More links

Still reading and following more links on Jay Solo's site . He pointed to Geographica where there is an interesting article about building a bridge over France (to avoid being polluted by the French) and a more serious item on the changes that will happen in China due to the new dam. There is also a quote about the blog economy debate:
I blog because I like to write and I love the ability to comment on the world as it goes by ? blogging gives me a great creative outlet that I appreciate. I do not blog to achieve from position in the ecosphere (as is evident by my falling position!).
I would like to echo the sentiment (but I would still like to climb from 'Nothing' to 'Something'). Having said that, I was blogging before I ever cam across the blog economy and I would continue to do so if the blog economy collapsed....

Chasing some other links (not sure how many redirects) from Jay I stumbled over an invitation to attend the 3rd Annual Nigerian Email Conference. Sessions include speakers on including grammatical mistakes, using all caps and discussing whether 10 million email spam messages a day is too many. There is a note that the speakers are only provisional due to possible problems with courts and extradition hearings :wink. This item has also been listed at The Museum of Hoaxes .

Final link for this article comes from "Up in this piece" which quotes a MSN Tech support who (towards the end) answer the following question:
Q: But it [i.e. MSN] sure beats AOL, doesn't it?
A: Yes, it does, but that's not saying much. The Information Superhighway provides an excellent metaphor.
In the fast lane of the highway are people in cable-modem sports cars and DSL drag racers. Burning down this electronic autobahn, these Low Ping Bastards zoom their packets to game servers and peer-to-peer networks, downloading whole movies chunk by chunk.
High above are the people in truly ultra connections, the big-server cargo planes, and the occasional jet-setter with his own personal T3. That kind of power is out of reach except by corporations and the truly rich.
In the slow lane are the narrowband users, the mass of bikes resembling Shanghai traffic. The technically inclined who cannot get cable or DSL go past on carefully-tweaked 10-speeds. The AOL users, in the slowest lane of all, are toddlers on plastic big-wheel tricycles, watching the world pass by as they struggle to make their tiny legs move their inefficient transportation, wondering why they left the giant AOL nursery to visit the wider Internet.
Where do you fit into this? You are the dorky-looking 9 year old wearing cumbersome elbow and knee pads, the training wheels on your flimsy, gearless bike rattling as you struggle to keep the adults in view.
Sort of brings new meaning to Parental Controls, doesn't it? MSN is the parent. You are the child.
(With MSN DSL, things are a little better. You're in the driver's seat of an old, half-broken Yugo, and if you're running the software, with a cranky Driver's Ed teacher who has the passenger's seat brake pedal.)

Maybe I should stop complaining about the lack of support from telstra :rofl.

Consultants

I have seen a number of varients on this theme. Some involving blondes, some involving Microslosh consultants, some (like this) are more generic (but still funny):

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response.
Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd says: " If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
"OK, why not." answered the young man.
"Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd.
"That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answers the shepherd.
"You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you know absolutely nothing about my business. Now give me back my dog."

I am guessing that a real consultant would have insisted that the shepard pay in advance for the satellite time and the paper :rofl.

Blog contest

I went to the trouble of reading both blogs in the contest (mentioned earlier) and despite (or maybe because) one of them offering topless photos, I found the other to be a better read.

In particular I enjoyed some articles enough to add a permalink on the right. I liked the "dungeon tour" segments which is a great way of finding new blogs. I know the Ecosystem is doing something similar but due to complete inundation, there are too many to look at....

Unfortunately, I can't find any way to link to the individual articles. NNW also can't "autofind" an RSS feed either (which would give me article links). Otherwise I could link to the most interesting ones :-) Still, go and give it a read, you're sure to enjoy it.

New Blogs...

Thanks to a link on Jay Solo I found a complete history of the bible and a summary of the contribution it has made to world peace.

Jay Solo also had a link to another site which suggests that Australia makes a contribution in supporting the US. I just hope some American politicians are reading this next time we ask for some favours - like real free trade - which the US imposes on others but refuses to implement with it's allies. (Can anyone say 'Baa'?) Still a well reasoned article and the idea of Canada being opposed to the US is interesting.

Last reference is to a spam item on Jay's site about half-way down the page. Looks like another blogger hates spam. Just for the record, from Friday night until this (Monday) morning, I have collected a magnificanet 52 spam mails - about 20% of legitimate mail.

Ecosystem Revisited

There is a debate at "Truth Laid Bear" about balance in blogs. I would just like to reassure readers that I am completely unbalanced. I am neither pro-left or pro-right. That does not leave me being a centrist either - I actually feel that in the world of politics, any political party is like a baby's nappy - guaranteed to end up full of sh*t unless change frequently.

As I have wandered around the web checking out blogs I have noticed that there are some which lean to one particular political direction or another. There are pro-left, pro-right, pro-women, anti-feminist, pro-gay, anti-gay, pro-jewish, pro-arab, whatever. The idea is that you don't have to read it if you don't like it and you certainly shouldn't link to it unless you either like reading the site or you are involving in some link trading (no I haven't done that yet).

BTW I am 1921 on the Blog Ecology with 3 links. Funny thing is that I know there are other links out there (check out some of the blog links over on the right) that point to BotB but apparently they are not in the ecology or I have stuffed up the entry for BotB or something....

There is also a contest between two blogs to get up to the next grade. I won't mention where they are until after I have read them. The story about them can be found here .

Visual Tricks

Theepan sent me this image. It contains (at least) nine faces, can you find them all? After a lot of searching I found them (and the dog does not count).

Here is the image (click for full size image; I will post the locations later):

I can't stomach the jokes ...

Thanks to a link via "This too shall pass" , I came across this somewhat unforgetable story of a fellow who has found a way to stop other people borrowing his computer all the time. As one of the comments suggests:

"Can I borrow your computer?"

"Sure, One of my keys passed through the entirety of my digestive system. See if you can guess which one. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."

"Uh ... I think I'll just borrow someone else's computer."