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June 03, 2003
Translation 101 M
This article is for men. That's right, I'm being sexist. There will be another article somewhere (Translation 101 F) for women...
OK, all you men who are still reading; this is a translation guide so that you can understand what women are saying. Forget the words, learn to recognise the underlying message...
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like
Posted by Ozguru at June 3, 2003 08:06 AM
Comments
Posted by: Rofl at June 3, 2003 08:06 AM
