G'Day Mate MkII

Quiz of the Week(end)

[Ed: At last a quiz I can empathise with! I really like a lot of his earlier work but I think he ended up being a bit too obsessed with sex instead of philosophy.]

Robert Heinlein wrote you - your stranger in a
strange land, you.


Which Author's Fiction are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wierd History

This humorous (and inaccurate?) view of history comes courtesy of The Gray Monk:

Wierd History
Next time you're washing your hands and the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s.

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children -- last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs -- thick straw -- piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof -- hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor."

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway, hence, a "thresh hold."

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite awhile. Hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale bread which was so old and hard that they could be used for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mould got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, mouldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

And that's the truth. . . (who ever said that history was boring)?

Lick Me, I'm A Macintosh

I was thinking about packaging today. A friend got a new computer (a Dell) and the packing was just your typical cardboard box with foam and I was thinking back to when my wife unpacked her iMac and how even the packaging was elegant. Then I recalled an email that someone had sent me. A the time I was flat out and the post dropped off the "current" list and I had forgotten about it. Well I decided to spring clean my email box (yes I know it is almost summer) and found it again. The post was from the ever observant Kingsley and it pointed to this wonderful post from SFGate.com. The full title of the article is: "Lick Me, I'm A Macintosh: What the hell is wrong with Apple that they still give a damn about design and packaging and "feel"?"

Here is an extract to whet your appetite:

And there it is. The welcome screen. An exquisite downtempo chill soundtrack and the world "Welcome" swimming over the monitor in a number of different languages and you think, what the hell is this? Where's the pain? Where's the hassle and the misaligned factory molding and the broken keyboard and the 3,000 setup steps and the sense that I'm drowning in a sea of programmer jargon and plastic waste and ubergeek hell?
This is what Apple does. This is what they are known for and why their design team is so famous and why they win so many awards and why they engender such passionate devotion from their adherents and why Macs are still far, far superior to PCs and always will be. It's true.
Apple actually cares about this sort of thing. Which is odd. Which is rare. Which is why they deserve gushing adulation now and then. They actually put the time and energy and labor into creating a gorgeous package most people will toss anyway, and why they include a first-time welcome experience, with subtle music, with flowing lush clean graphics, one that will never be repeated, just because.

Friday Five (Last Week)

This is the one I missed when I was in Canberra.

1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.
1. Sort out the taxes
2. Sort out the car business
3. Get all the Christmas cards written
4. Take some time out with the kids
5. Get time to fix the css stuff on the blogs

2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.
1. Philip (from High School, Yr 11 - Yr 12)
2. Michael (from High School, Yr 7 - Yr 10)
3. Richard (from High School, Yr 9 - Yr 12)
4. Kevin (from Primary School, Yr 4 - Yr 6)

3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.
1. Write good css!
2. Fly a plane.
3. Two rite beter wuth less spelung errers.
4. Be an acolyte.
5. Ride a motorbike.

4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).
1. Retire (lots of volunteer things I'd like to do and some study)
2. Buy a big place (20 acres) with water (creek, stream, etc)
3. Buy a new car (may have to do that anyway)
4. Buy a new computer (Powerbook 17")
5. Take a long trip - visit Scotland, Canada, New Zealand, Tasmania

5. List five things you do that help you relax.
1. Blog.
2. Blog.
3. Blog.
4. Blog.
5. Reply to comments on the blog.

Friday Five

Here we go again, this is the current one (and I may try and do a catchup one for last week later on the weekend).

1. Do you like to shop? Why or why not?
You are kidding right. This is one of those "chick" questions. I'm a guy. When I have to shop I do and get it over and done with. Like shoes. Last time my shoes were worn out (according to my wife) I went to a sports shop that looked reasonably priced and bought a pair that fitted. My wife on the other hand went to many stores and looked at many shoes and spend many hours doing so before selecting one. She enjoys the process (and that is fine as long as I don't have to go). What about big items (like a new car). Well I go to the pub at lunch time with me mates and we all talk about it and call each other names and then let the wife make the decision anyway :-)

2. What was the last thing you purchased?
Lunch. Satay chicken at the neat takeaway near where I work.

3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why?
On-line. Quicker and you don't have to deal with sales people.

4. Did you get an allowance as a child? How much was it?
Yup. Fifty cents a week. 10 percent to church, 10 percent saved and the remainder for me. My grandfather once started down the old "when I was a boy we only got a brass farthing" once and I politely stopped him and asked what he could purchase with his pocket money because that was more important than the amount. He used to see the movies, subscribe to two monthly magazines (like "Boys Own") and buy an ice-cream. We worked out that I would need about $8 a week to achieve the same results. It really spoilt his story.

5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing?
Lunch. I have been burping all afternoon.

MT Plugin: MostVisited

Yahoo! After a lot of fiddling I solved the problems with MT-MostVisited and also got it to integrate with awstats. First, I installed the plugin via the excellent plugin manager.

This did not work at all and even after I read the instructions (who reads them before you start?) and installed the Apache::Parselog, it still didn't work.

[Aside: That reminds me about the boy with a wooden whistle - it wooden (wouldn't) whistle. He got a steel whistle and it steel (still) wouldn't whistle. Then he got a tin whistle, now he tin (can) whistle.]

The error message was along the lines of:

Rebuild error: Build error in template 'Main Index': Error in tag: You used an 'MTEntryLink' tag outside of the context of an entry; perhaps you mistakenly placed it outside of an 'MTEntries' container?

First attempt: wrap an MTEntry round the MTMostVisited tags. Didn't work BUT it did basically return the last 10 entries with nothing in the entry count field. Almost as if it didn't understand the MTMostVisited tags. Of course if it had rebuilt then I could have looked at the source of the index.html page and checked it but in fact the index rebuild failed (for multiple reasons).

Hmmm. Looking at the doc, it appears that the plugin is supposed to be in the MT/plugins directory but I could have sworn it was in the MT directory (alongside mt.cgi and similar files). Yup. OK, lets try moving mt-mostvisited.pl and apachelog.pl into the plugins directory.

Now there is still an error about log files:

Apache::ParseLog::getTransferLog: /var/log/httpd/access_log.1 does not exist. Exiting at /Library/WebServer/MovableType/plugins/apachelog.pl line 43

and I can get a similar message from the other file as well! So I did a bit of hacking in both files and added the awstats archive file (in my case this is in /var/spool/awstats/awstats_archive.something_or_other.log) and commented out dot 1 through to dot 6. The code now looks like:
@searchfiles = ("$awstat/awstats_archive.something_or_other.log",
"$logdir/access_log",
# "$logdir/access_log.1",
# "$logdir/access_log.2",
# "$logdir/access_log.3",
# "$logdir/access_log.4",
# "$logdir/access_log.5",
# "$logdir/access_log.6",
);


and of course the value of $awstat is defined earlier.

That solved everything - check out the lovely new "Popular Entries" section on the right. It is not perfect - in particular it will fail to assess entries that are no longer in the log (i.e. when the log gets truncated) and it is hard coded for a particular blog (and I have multiple blogs here). I may look at caching the hit counts on the entries in mysql and simply tagging the date of the most recent check. That would mean that the most popular entry state could be obtained from the mysql database.

Stop Press

The leader of the federal opposition has resigned. Whats-his-name managed to hang on during the last leadership challenge despite having absolutely no charisma and no supporters (except in the executive). Looks like it will be an open contest between hopefuls and has-beens.

Here was my summary at the last leadership debacle:

Current Events: Newspoll of voters done nationwide asking about preferred Prime Minister. About 50% of coalition voters like the PM (that's normal) about 20% like Kim Beazley (the alternate leader of the opposition), about 10% picked Crean (because he is guaranteed to lose the next election and give the coalition another turn). About 99.9% of Labor voters wanted Kim Beazley and the rest wanted Paul Keating or Bob Hawke back. Got it. Ain't nobody want this dude.

Thangsgiving suggestions

If you are at home, trying to escape from the relatives and wondering what could be interesting on the 'net, I thought I put a few suggestions together. How about checking out the ongoing debate (in the comments section) of this article about arranged marriage (20 comments last time I looked). There is also a fairly controversial post about Vegans vs Carnivores at Kingleys site. For an alternate look at the tech news of the day, there is a news parody site at SlashNOT which is worth a look. Someone also sent me a list of things to do when the 'net is down but that is probably the last thing on your mind right now ....

If you have an opinions about UK politics, check out this site (sounds just like Canadian politics and Australian politics really).

P.S. We don't celebrate thanksgiving here but all the best to those who do....

Rugby World Cup IV

Of course for the English to win, Australia had to lose:

Click on the image for a larger version.

Rugby World Cup III

Well it is history now but the English won (instead of the French) and so we get this:

Rugby World Cup II

Imagine what would have happened if the French had won?

Testing Anti-SPAM

This is just a test post...

I have implemented the cgi traps as outlined in this forum and I want to make sure everything is still working.

Please don't test the features by connecting to the "trap" because it will be fiddley to un-black-list you :-)

MT Vulnerability

According to Utterly Boring who points to Zope Newbies who points to the MT Forum there is a vulnerability in one of the MT cgi scripts. I don't normally use this (on my MT blog - it is not a TypePad problem AFAIK) but I have disabled it as per the instructions in the forum. I may also try to set up the honeypot.

If you (or your friends) are running MT anywhere, look at disabling this feature....

Wedding Trip 7 (final)

Sunday
We had made tentative arrangements with another brother to shuttle my kids and his to Questacon but I figured I had better try and sort out the insurance. Then the phone (in the hotel room) wouldn't work. Feeling like a complete Wally (a la Dilbert) I went down to reception. The guy there helpful pushed all sorts of buttons on his phone and told me to try again. If it didn't work to call him on extension 9. Well it still didn't work and I couldn't call him on extension 9 (sort of like your ISP asking you to check their help pages before calling them). So I went back (with the phone) - it wasn't easily fixed so he arranged for me to have access to another room so that I could make the calls (and they never charged for them). First up was the cops. They gave me a reference number and in the process the constable put her hand over the phone and called out to someone else: "where's that NDA from yesterday" (might have been ND something else) but that was cool because I know that an ND is "Negligent Driving" which what you normally get charged when you run up the back of someone. Anyway, the next call was to the insurance company. They were really helpful and it was nice (and this is not meant to demean outsourced tele-workers) to hear someone speaking Australian at the other end of the phone. The first thing they asked was whether we were all OK (as in people not the car) and this was not just an insurance thing because almost everyone I spoke to asked the same question which was very reassuring. We went through all the 6 million questions over the phone and the lady gave me details of what procedures would be followed (car is in a holding yard - probably in the open with rain pouring in the back where the window used to be - will be assessed on Monday morning). She then mentioned that under my policy I was entitled to a hire car to get me home.
Now here is the complicated bit. We are members of the NRMA (roadside assistance) but we do not have the highest level of coverage (called "NRMA plus"). We used to but the premiums were too high last April so we opted for the "standard" version. Our car was also insured with NRMA (Insurance) and they were effectively providing a car under the insurance banner BUT they had to put me through to the assistance people who knocked me back because I was not a plus member. I sort of figured that the insurance people had got it wrong but I rang them back just in case. Nope they still had the same story (and the same helpful attitude) so they transferred me back and I ran into the same stone wall. Then I tried insurance again and they put me through to someone who just sorted it all out. She was the most helpful of the lot and not only arranged the car but explained how much I would have to pay and how much they would pay and then she started ringing around. When she had organised it everything she called me back (on my mobile) to tell me where to pick up the car. Aussie Courier would be impressed - it is a Holden with only 3400 Km on the clock! The kids were impressed because it is fire-engine red. It is roomier than the Camry but still feels "tinny".

I hope you weren't too bored by all that and at least you know where I was ... I figure Aussie Courier should be back in a coupla weeks as well.

Law Enforcement Test

[Ed: This jokes was sent via email by Ben. Thanks Ben!]

The CIA, the FBI and the LAPD are each asked to prove their capability at apprehending terrorists. President Bush releases a white rabbit into a forest and tells each agency to catch it.

The CIA goes first. It sends animal informants into the forest. They question all plant and material witnesses. After three months of intensive investigations the CIA concludes rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads it bombs the forest, killing everything, including the rabbit. It makes no apologies; the rabbit had it coming, it insists.

The LAPD go in. They come out after just two hours with a badly beaten bear. The bear is sobbing, "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."

John Howard hears about George Jnr's idea and decides to test Australian law enforcement agencies. He releases a white rabbit into the Stromlo Forest, near Canberra.

The National Crime Authority can't catch it but promises that if it gets a budget increase it can recover $90 million in unpaid rabbit taxes and proceeds of crime.

The Victorian police go in. They're gone only 15 minutes, returning with a koala, a kangaroo and a tree fern, all three shot to pieces. "They looked like dangerous rabbits and we acted in self-defence," they explain.

The NSW police go in. Surveillance tapes later reveal top-ranking officers and rabbits dancing around a gum tree stoned out of their minds.

The Queensland police go in. They reappear driving a brand new Mercedes, scantily clad bunnies draped all over them.

The WA police actually catch the white rabbit, but it inexplicably hangs itself when the attending officer "slipped out momentarily" for a cup of tea.

The SA and NT police join forces and beat the inside out of every rabbit in the forest, except the white one. They know it is only the black ones who cause all the trouble.

The Australian Federal Police refuse to go in. It examines the issues, particularly cost, and decides that because of low priority, high overtime and the projected expense to the AFP as a whole, the matter should be returned to the referring authority for further analysis.

ASIO goes into the wrong forest.

1000 Visitors in 8 days

Thanks to all of the readers out there ....

Reader number 1000 did not leave any comments but if this:

was you, then leave a comment to collect your "prize".

BTW, me mate (The Gray Monk) would like a few more readers, maybe you could pop over and have a gander at his blog too. Thanks.

Wedding Trip 6

Reception
Thanks to some old friends (well they are not old but I have known them for about 25 years), Mr and Mrs W, we managed to get to the reception. My other better half and kids went with my mum which displaced the one brother who is still single. He an I went with these good friends of ours (thanks a million if you happened to be reading this!). No-one was quite sure how to get to the reception (remember the rule of driving in Canberra: if you can see your destination turn right or left). My brother and I managed to give them some really bad advice - we saw a couple of girls from the church who jumped into a taxi - why not follow them? Well here is why not - they weren't going to the reception. Instead the cab dropped them in town at a club and we then had to guess where to go next. Thanks to some superb co-ordination between husband (driving) and wife (navigating) we got there quite quickly. The kids had a whale of a time - there was food, attention, music, dancing - you name it. Of course some of the wedding party kept ducking out to the kitchen to check either (a) the rugby results (world cup grand final between England and Australia) or (b) the Bathurst 24 hour car race positions. The whole thing was well organised and I enjoyed the food (as you would expect). Lots of comments about the kilt and everyone one wanted to pose for a photo with me - including Aussie Courier (who is taller than I am - even though he is my "little" brother). One thing that was really interesting is that the "dance" music was old old stuff that I could remember but there were your 20 somethings dancing and singing along to Elvis and Abba. I asked a few people and they just shrugged and said something along the lines of "well you can't dance to the new stuff". Wow, maybe I am not such an old foggy after all. Some old friends of my mums (see not above about old being related to the period of friendship not the age of the individuals) helped with getting us back to the hotel.

Now you asked for it, so here it is ....

Rugby World Cup

I notice the polite dilemma over at Gray Monk as to the Rugby World Cup (won by England). I, on the otherhand, have no such dilemma. All along I have made it clear that I hoped NZ would win because I felt that they were cut out of having part of the hosting of the cup. Anyway, congrats to the Poms - good to see them win something (for a change). If it couldn't be the Kiwis or the Scots, then I can't think of anyone else who deserved to win it (except maybe the Japanese who put more effort into the game than any other team).

So, with that out of the way, I have a few jokes. The first one came via email from Ben:

Supreme court case NSW
A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama this week when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of the boy. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge awarded custody to his aunt. The boy confirmed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and refused to live there. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents the boy cried out that they beat him more than anyone.
The judge dramatically allowed the boy to choose who should have custody of him. Custody was granted to the Wallabies rugby team this morning as the boy firmly believes that they are not capable of beating anyone.

Blog Roundup (Con't)

Well I am back and car accident or no car accident I have a duty to fulfill which is to finish off last weeks review. We might cut back to five blogs in the next review until I get enough time to catch up again :-)

The outstanding blogs (and they are outstanding) are: Jivha - the Tongue and Dusting My Brain.

One of the interesting things about Squip's Blog is that it has introduced me to a whole new set of blogs that I would otherwise have missed because our blog rolls do not really intersect much. One recent curiosity was this link to My Boyfriend is a Twat. I have to assume that the boyfriend can't read as well. Returning to the blog I am supposed to be reviewing there is a heartfelt plea for assistance with the Christmas gift email... (I think I can use that "Peas on Earth and Other Goodwill Carrots" phrase), a link to the Digital IQ quiz and a serious repost on telling the truth.

Jivha is like an old friend, his was the first Indian blog I ever stumbled across and he seems to have endless energy when it comes to posting. In fact this has led to a problem with the posts falling off the bottom of the main page. In fact this post is no longer on the front page (and was hard to find). I have a long front page to get around this but as Jivha points out, this tends to slow things down and some readers will give up (I have even had some feedback about how long the page takes to load at the moment with all those photos). As an aside, if you ever wonder why I post Microslash jokes, it was because Jivha told me it was a good idea. On the more current front, Jivha has been running a number of posts about the perils and issues of outsourcing (especially call centres to India).

Both these blogs are good reads and should be on your daily rounds (or at least linked to your RSS aggregator). Also in passing, congratulations to NZ Bear for passing the 500,000 mark.

Digital IQ

I found this quiz via Technically Speaking and I was so pleased with the results I thought I would put it up straight away :-)

Should I go out and get a wireless keyboard to increase my score?

Mid-week mystery

This is an Australian native - what is it and can you name a famous one?

Wedding Trip 5

Saturday - Wedding
I am under strict instructions not to post any photos of Aussie Courier or his blushing bride but I find such restrictions hard to follow so here is a picture of a church wedding:

There are a few minor differences:
- This photo was taken earlier in the day.
- A different couple is getting married.
- It was not raining as heavily in this shot.
- The ground was muddier in the afternoon.
- There were more guests than appear here.
- It was a completely different church ...
- ... in a completely different suburb.

In fact this is a photo of a model of church taken at Cockington Green :-)

Feature: Comments Feed

Thanks to RevJim (found after a tip-off from Jim O'Halloran) I have been able to set up a comment feed on this MT blog. I will fiddle around and see if I can get the same type of thing working on TypePad.

[P.S. That is not a link you want to click on - try dragging it into an RSS aggregator like NetNewsWire or Raissa instead.]

Wedding Trip 4

Saturday - Main Event

We had to leave early (2:15) to be there by 2:45 (for Hushering). We headed down past the war memorial, around the airport and through Queanbeyan. We were just turning from the main street into the lane (to get to the church parking) when a vehicle collided with us from the rear. A Holden Rodeo (a ute) with a huge steel bull bar hit the back of our little Camry at pretty close to full speed. The witnesses says he didn't even attempt to break or slow. He was travelling (according the police) well over 70 km/hr (in a 50km/hr zone) and it totalled the car.

Fortunately the kids in the back seat got no more than a fright (and lots of shattered rear windscreen bits all over them). We had to wait for the cops and an ambulance (to check the kids) and then a towtruck. The cops, the towtruck driver and a number of the wedding guests all assured us that the car would be a write-off (i.e. the insurance company would pay us for the car rather than get it repaired because the entire rear had collapsed and the frame was twisted.

Sorry I was too distracted to take any photos although I did manage to rescue the camera from what was left of the boot of the car. Most of the boot was crushed into the back of the rear seats and the passenger doors no longer close properly. The rear window was completely out of the frame and shattered all over the back seat.

My wife and kids enjoyed the wedding while I hovered near the door and watched for a towtruck.

Wedding Trip 3

Saturday - Cockington Green

Took the kids to Cockington Green in the morning - a place with model houses laid out in an English style (there is also a new international section and a real steam train). It was pouring but then isn't that sort of suitable for viewing an English village?

In one part of the site there is a soccer game "in progress" with a crowd and a sausage seller etc. We noticed that the soccer goals (and teams) had been removed and replaced with rugby posts. The two new teams were in red and white (the Lions - England) and green and yellow (the Wallabies - Australia). The crowd was clearly cheering the Lions and we had to wonder if that would influence the result of the game Saturday night.

The train bloke was really kind and took us round (twice) even though it was raining cats and dogs.

Afterwards we picked up lunch in Chinatown and then headed back to the hotel to get washed and showered for the main event.

Wedding Trip 2

Friday - Rehearsals
Well the rehearsal was fun (sort of) but two planning snags were discovered. First was transport (via Holden Statesman) for the bridal party after the wedding. They all need to get to the photo locations and the reception but there won't be enough seats to go round. Second problem is that I am over-committed. I am supposed to drive one of the cars and my son is the husher (he thinks that means he gets to tell people to be quiet). Problem is that he and I need to be doing things (seating people, collecting flower girls) at different places (the church, somewhere else) at the same time and my wife will be looking after my daughter as well.

Any rate the groom is going to try and get another driver (at least for the part before the wedding) and I will help with the hushing.

I forgot to ask how formal he wants it to be..... i.e. do I wear a tie with the kilt?

Wedding Trip 1

This is the first of a series of posts written during the trip. Obviously I have the full story now but rather than spoil things, I figured I should post them in the correct order over the next day or so. To reduce the anticipation, we all survived and are back home again :-)

Friday - On the Road to Canberra

Pretty uneventful trip. We pulled off the main highway to tour through Goulburn and pay a visit to the Big Merino.

Lake George was as dry as can be expected. The kids had a great time fighting in the back seat and we arrived to discover a problem. When you go on a trip like this, you just know you will forget something. In this case it was umbrellas. Who need an umbrella in a drought?

Well it has been pouring and I came close to drowning just trying to cross the road after lunch. Popped into Woolies and asked about umbrellas. The shop assistant looked at me like I was a total idiot? Dunno he says, try the gardening section. No luck so I popped into the chemist and relieved them of a couple which lightened my wallet considerably. Of course it stopped raining after that. We popped down to the National exhibition and discovered that it closed ten minutes after we arrived.

Top 10 Results

I know the results are already up, but for the curious this is where the list of links came from. The reduced link count this week came from finding more self referential links (looked like the old missing page replacement link playing up).


Site Checklist
==============
Note: There are 582 links to consider.



TOP 10 Sites
============
Jihva - the Tongue (30)
All AgitProp (29)
Interested Participant (23)
Jaboobie (18)
When I Paint My Masterpiece (16)
Utterly Boring (15)
Technically Speaking (14)
A Jaunty Little Blog (14)
Jay Solo's Verbosity (13)
Cynical Cyn (13)



Random 10 Sites
===============
Dusting My Brain
Annika's Journal and Poetry
Annals Australasia
Collinization
Synapse
Patang!
Crazy Apple Rumours
Jivha - the Tongue
Kingsley
Technically Speaking


Quiz of the Week(end)

Spotted this over at Paul's site.

Blog Roundup

Here we go for another week. This particular review was prepared earlier (and in random order) because I didn't want you loyal readers to suffer while I was enjoying myself at Aussie Courier's Wedding. That means there will probably be even more interesting things to read on these blogs :-)

These two blogs are due for review but I have run out of time to finish them before I leave for Canberra. I promise to do it when I get back but in the meantime go and check out: Jivha - the Tongue and Dusting My Brain.

Annals Australasia is another blog that needs to be updated. In this case, I happen to read the print version and enjoy it but the on-line version seems to get out-of-date quickly. Given that I host the blog, maybe I should do some more work on it :-) It does have an interesting article on Iraq.

Synapse used to be on the blogroll (but was purged recently when I cleaned things up). It has an interesting blend of stories, told from an Australian (yes tasmania is still part of Australia) perspective and using Australian language - such as The Gutless Wonder. Another choice turn of phrase appears in this article which talks about MS and suggests that MS users will be "bending over and greasing up". On a more practical note, Raena has installed Gallery which is something I was planning to play with.

Here we have another blog missing in action: Patang!. I found a post from October 24 but nothing more recent. If you are using MT there is a quick fix for this. By default MT displays a certain number of days but you can change this (as I do) to reflect a certain number of entries instead. Go to your main index template and look for the bit that says:
<MTEntries>

Now change that to look like:
<MTEntries lastn="21">

That should give you the last 21 entries (or whatever number you used) regardless of the elapsed time. If you don't post for a month, you will still have content on the main page.

Kingsley ought to be buying lottery tickets because he got selected last week as well. Since then he has got involved in Blog Mela and if you know what that is, you are smarter than I. Perhaps a pointer to some background might have been handy. On a more serious note there is an observation about analog vs digital watches. I had never thought of it in those terms but Kingsley is right. I also remember a study about watches where people with analog watches could tell you the time while people with digital watches would show it to you. Try it next time in the street, ask someone for the time and watch whether you get an answer or a view of their wrist.

I like Technically Speaking because it has a neat mix of fun and science mixed into the blog. There was a post the other day about mesons (not Masons) and it was easy to understand and sounds really exciting (I have no idea what it really means to science but I could understand that it was significant). Even more interesting is a vaccine for Ebola which would remove one of the popular doomsday topics for paperback novelists. Finally there was a post on bluetooth that I will have to investigate further (because I use bluetooth with my phone). Check Tony's blog out - it is both interesting and informative (both at the same time).

This site: Collinization is currently blank. By clicking on the October archive I note that the author claims to have no internet access. Hmmmm. Maybe there are no internet cafe's in his area - I can't walk round the block at lunch time without tripping over at least a dozen. Besides what about "free" access? Hmmm. Lets look deeper. Nope, nada, no good excuse except for something about football and we all know Americans don't play real football.....

Technically, Crazy Apple Rumours is not a blog but I do link to their stories and they do sort of do daily posting about weird stuff although some of the latest posts appear to have been completed under the influence of hallucinogenic compounds. The guy who writes CARS also has a blog over at John Moltz (No-good, Mac-using liberal drunk).

Last, but not least we have Annika of Annika's Journal and Poetry who is not weird and has completed a quiz to prove it. She also has some strange philosophical question about icecream - and no I don't want the analogy expanded on this family oriented blog.

Cheddar X

1. What's the best advice you've ever gotten?
Actually it was advice to my parents from my school principal: "Your son is incapable of learning. Don't bother sending him to a good high school. Try and get him an apprenticeship when he turns 14 - that's all he'll ever be good for." Why was this good advice? It certainly spurred my academic ambitions and now I'd really like to go back and hand him a business card.....

2. What is the best thing you've ever found?
My wife.

3. What three words describe your blog?
Lotsa spelling errors (you said three, you didn't exclude Australian slang).

4. What was the most recent thing you did that seemed like a good idea at the time but later events proved otherwise?
Provided transport for a relative and asked them about their spouse. I haven't been spoken to since.

5. What two celebrities would you most like to see fight to the death?
Ex-prime minister of Malaysia vs the current French president (or any French president for that matter). No matter who wins, the world would be a better place, no?

6. What do you think is the best thing about the internet? What's the worst?
All those cool blogs out there that I don't have time to read. SPAM!

Light Posting

Sorry bout this folks, but the posting is going to be very light this weekend (starting today). I am travelling interstate for a wedding (hint: Aussie Courier will be on light posting for longer still). I will still be writing posts on my Newton but you probably won't see them until I get back.....

Maybe I will get my dialup going - but no promises....

There is a scheduled Cheddar X (instead of Friday 5 for this week) due tomorrow and a Quiz on Sunday.

It Never Rains...

[Ed: This post was supposed to go up last Thursday but was left languishing in the unposted collection.]

This morning the bus stop was crowded. Just what I need on a day that requires me to be on time for a series of meetings with interstate visitors (assuming that you count Canberra as interstate). The main reason for thinking of Canberra like that was my attempt last night to book some accomodation in Canberra for my brothers wedding (weekend after next). I was looking through the NRMA site and to find lodging in Canberra requires you to select NSW; something that is geographically correct but likely to be considered politically incorrect by the incumbents.
Back to the bus stop. Normally there would be no more than ten people but I counted forty. I crossed my fingers that there wasn't a bus strike and wondering if I had enough money for a cab ride. Just as I decided that I should save the money for this afternoon (possible job inteview) a 374 arrived. Should I catch this slower bus or wait in the hope that a faster one will arrive? While I consider the question a 376 arrives (travels the sane route but has free seats on it). It is rare to have two buses at the same time at this stop and the second one extends back to our property line. Then, while people are still trying to get in the doors a 373, a 372, and another bus arrived. This last bus was sort of stuck on the next corner. What is that old saw? It never rains but it pours.

Prize Post

This is a prize post. One of my regular (and highly valued) readers responded to a "Mid-week Mystery" and was given my standard prize: Write and article, or ask a question - I'll answer it. After you finish reading it (or maybe before you start), pay him a visit and check out his blog: Aussie Courier. Remember, you too can ask a question and then I have to answer it (one way or another).

Question: If you could relive any part of your life, would you?, and which part?

Answer: Do you want the serious answer or the flippant one? On the serious front, I think I would go back to when I finished my first degree. I had started my honours program but things were very tight financially. I could not support myself for another year (even with parental aid) and I needed to work. I figured (half way through my honours) that I could work full-time and study part-time. In hindsight I would say that is only true for certain courses and a computer science honours program (or a PhD for that matter) are not viable candidates. In addition, a fellow who was my future boss was pushing me to transfer to an information systems degree (because it was more useful in the real world than a computer science degree). I let myself be swayed and switched to an masters in commerce (information systems) and I have always regretted not finishing that honours program. So if I could do it over, I would have begged or borrowed enough to finish that honours course before starting work.

Flippant answer: I think that my late lunch today could be redone - something less greasy because boy am I feeling queasy right now. In fact, in retrospect, I should have skipped lunch so that I don't look too big in the wedding photos on Saturday.

SPAM Motivation

Why does SPAM persist? I have just deleted 3 Nigerian emails (all in the last 24 emails). Well someone has done the research and put the figures together. There is a discussion at The Register which points to this paper and the numbers are really scary:

Leung reckons response rates to bulk commercial email is less than 0.005 per cent. That means that a typical email message appeals to 50 people and annoys 999,950. Brightmail chief exec Enrique Salem recently told El Reg that scammers only need one in a million respondents to phishing emails to make the con worthwhile.

So how can spammers stay in business with such low response rates:

Spam, unlike conventional junk mail, is growing exponentially because it costs virtually nothing to send and all the costs of dealing with spam are dumped on its recipients.

Searches

I can't help noticing that there are a few searches going astray at the moment. I have no idea why (and they seem to work from here) but if you are looking for "paul stenhouse" (actually the Rev. Dr. Paul Stenhouse MSC), try Annals Australasia. If you are looking for the kilt photos, try the photo album. The bloke revealing his shorts (under his kilt) is here.

Please note that most of the images in the Photo Album were taken (or digitally altered) by me. I would appreciate some form of acknowledgement or a link.

Marine Recuit

This is the funniest read of the day, from Cynical Cyn.

AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are.
Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.

Make sure you read the whole letter including the signature at the bottom.

This is a copy of the entry from Cynical Cyn. It is only stored here in case of bit-rot (where things vanish on the internet). It would be polite for you to try reading on the original site.

LETTER FROM A FARM KID,

AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are.

Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, and stuff, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in little metal boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home.

I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. He joined up the same time as me. But I'm only5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Gail

Yet more Scot pictures

This is the last of the photos from the Scottish gathering. The first is one of a hammer thrower in action and the second is the mascot we brought back for my daughter who was not well enough to attend (note that it is wearing the correct tartan).

Mid-week mystery

Here is the second mystery for this week. Where was I when I took this photo?

Mid-week mystery

To make up for last week, I have two mid-week mysteries this week (both easy ones). Who is this bloke:

There is no point in blowing up the photo to look at the name on the sandstone because I layered it over. Also as a clue, a lot of people get this bloke confused with an unrelated event that happened some time later.

More Scot Photos

My son (6 years old) was using the older digital camera and took lots of pictures as kids do. Initially he was photographing things in the arena which was OK but then he wanted to snap the people walking along the path near us. His grandmother and I both suggested that he should ask people before taking their picture. After some consideration he agreed to go along with out strange request. He waiting until two of the strong men, fresh from the hammer throw and looking for liquid refreshment, climbed over the fence and walked near us. "Stop", he said, "I'm taking your picture". One of them frowned and asked: "What did you say?" I jumped in very quickly, and explained: "My son enjoyed your performance and wanted to photograph the champions." They relaxed and were very happy to pose:

I also took photos of the genuine Scottish food available:

Icecream and Kebabs

Pancakes and Coffee

Actually we had genuine Australian sausage sandwiches with onion and tomato sauce (ketchup if you are American). There was a lot of Scottish deserts like shortbread, fudge and tablet but no savouries like haggis :-(

For the Scottish dancing fans (including some relatives) I have a few shots: 1, 2, 3.

Archive Update

As you are probably aware, there is currently a problem with SPAM being promoted into blogs (I have now removed about 40 SPAM messages). This is not a nice thing but I like to keep the feedback with my readers. To try and reduce the problem I am archiving older posts which will have additional comments disabled. This should solve most of the current issues because the SPAM is appearing in older posts first.

What does this mean for you the reader?

Not much unless you are browsing through the older posts or trying to search for something. Posts prior to April 1, have now all been migrated to the Archive / Test blog and they will still be google searchable. Articles between April and now are here. Over the next few weeks, I expect to migrate all but the most current three months to the archive. If I still have a SPAM problem after that, I will need to look at additional solutions.

Please note that currently google is returning some search results which will fail (due to the rebuild of my server). The best bet there is to try the local search tool on the main page. In many cases the file extensions will have changed, most images will now be PNG files and most of the PHP pages will now be plain HTML.

If you are trying to find something or I have confused the matter further, chuck me an email and I will see what I can do.

Under a kilt?

Firstly, this is not a picture of a ballerina. And, no, he is not standing on his toes to wave at the crowd. In fact, he has just spun around several times and hurled a 22 pound (10kg) stone weight with a handle attached (see upper circled area). The reason for this photo is it provides at least one answer to the age old question - what does a Scot wear under his kilt?

The oldest story I can find about it came from a tattered collection of "military legends" where it is mentions Queen Victoria and a victim from the Crimea War (do those two actually match?) who was a Scotsman. The legend was that the Queen spoke to the wounded soldier about the conditions (he had lost a leg) and happened to touch briefly on the question of what was worn beneath the kilt. The old soldier drew himself up and responded: "I canna speak for all but there's nothing worn beneath my kilt - it's all in perfect working order".

You can find more responses (and pictures) at this site. If that isn't enough for you, check out The Straight Dope. I guess that means the athlete at the top is not "going regimental"!

Of course there is the Andy Stewart song that I have quoted before:

...A lady passing by me, suddenly fainted at my feet.
If you want to know my lad, well here's what happened then,
I looked down and she looked up and she fainted once again...

Finally there is a lovely poem (from ShirleyPipeBand.com):

Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet,
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by,
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt!"

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be;
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

They marvelled for a moment, then one said: "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie star the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show.

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call, and stumbled towards the trees.
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Oh, lad I don't know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!"

Sore and Sunburnt

Had a great day out yesterday with my son at a function held at CastleHill Show Grounds. The sun was blazing hot, and the wind was fierce but an enjoyable day was had by all. If you want to see a dodgy video of the highlight of the day, see the extended article (45 second hand-made video - no editing - poor quality due to high winds).

Quiz of the Week(end)

You are Romans.


Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Cheddar X

In the comments on the last Friday 5, Melodrama suggested trying Cheddar X instead. Mind you trying to find Cheddar X was not obvious and I had to go back to one of her October archives but I did find it. Looks like the questions are harder (but easier) - i.e. require more thought but without technicalities (what was an adjective again?) to trip you up. So here goes a Cheddar X (arbitrarily selected):

1. What good did you do in the world today?
I help out with the music at Saturday night mass and I was really patient with my son while he tried to win at chess (yes he did win after I spotted him a queen). I wish I could be that patient with him all the time.

2. What fashion trend are you glad that's gone away? Or what trend are you waiting to go away?
Please get rid of this stupid low hanging trousers. If you are a chick, I don't want to see the belly roll. If you are a guy, cover up the crack. Some kid on Friday has an extra long short on and I could have sworn his belt was round his knees :-(

3. What's your greatest sports moment, your own or one you've witnessed?
Tony Lockett kicking the behind after the siren that got Sydney into the finals. (That was AFL by the way).

4. Who would you nominate for the most annoying person award?
Right now I think the Malaysian ex-prime minister would make a good candidate.

5. What do you do to get yourself ready to write? Either blogging or other writing?
Find somewhere quite, drink coffee (or Soyachino or whiskey).

6. Mac or PC or Linux? Why?
Mac. Is there anything else that (1) works and (2) works they way I do. The mac is a perfect tool, instead of changing my habits to fit around a contrary system, it fits in with me. Mind you, I like my Newton too.

Blog Roundup

Of course I can't really surprise you this week because if you had been paying attention, I actually published the list of sites on Friday afternoon (Australian Eastern Daylight Time) just after the Friday 5. If anyone else wants to play with the (very rough) code, just let me know. I am think of making it into an MT plugin that selects a random link from the current page.

Although sharing similar names there is no connection between Ms. Kinsley of On The Third Hand and the next blog down the list (a point that has already been made in the comments somewhere on this blog). On The Third Hand (explanation) is actually a joint blog but the posts fit well together which is interesting. My only attempt at joint blogging (The Dead Parrot) did not work so well, and I suspect that was because not all the authors were working on the same wavelength. A lot of the posts are based around a strategic quote followed by local commentary. A quite like this one build round a quote by Dorothy Parker. Other posts rely on a very short comment but a smart title to make one stop and think - a good example is Asking the wrong question, another is this post which has the comment "More like this, please". Pop over and enjoy the site. It is definitely worth the effort of clicking on one of the links :-)

Kingsley is a regular visitor who always leaves thoughtful comments - sometimes the comments open a different perspective which is always a good thing. His blog has undergone yet another revision but all his designs are pretty good. He and Jivha both seem prepared to tackle the hard questions like the Indian electoral system and prententious fashion. At the same time there are more light-hearted reads like wiggly pictures and a lovely quote (no link, it appears just below the previous link): "The fundamental particle of morality is called the moron."

This is another newbie (for me at least): Fragments Weblog. I found this site via Google when I was trying to setup a GeoURL link on the Archive Site. It made me very glad that Google still indexes blogs. Anyway, while I was there I noticed that this blog also has a reference to the Gender Genie. There is also an interesting article on coercing XP to do what you want.

Over at Satisfied and Totally Relaxed, the author has attempted to do the 100 free flowing thoughts thing and it is quite readable - I had a couple of goes but kept having to edit which spoils the whole point of the exercise (as far as I understand it). The current eratic posting schedule is probably explained bY ,a href="http://satr.typepad.com/satr/2003/10/giddy_is_now_my.html">this post but I have to admit my favourite in the current batch would be this explanation for the Sun flares.

I have heard of some lucky stories in my time but this one takes the cake. Here am I testing the spider software (which now reads all the main blog pages) and while I am in the process he (she?) posts a comment asking how the system works. Not only that but the random selection tool picks the blog: GRRR be afraid. The odds were not good but in this case pretty successful. Well I don't know anything about this blog (because it is new), lets try the longest article (about remembrance day) on the main page and see what the Gender Genie thinks:

Female Score: 424
Male Score: 471
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

Now I may be going out on a limb here but I don't think so. I know there is a picture of a guy on the main page but the hearts and lips replacing the cursor is not something you often see on a male blog..... Anyway the blog is cool to read but I suspect that an old fuddy like me is having some trouble with the acronyms. What is a TCU? Why does a Friday 5 have three questions and get called a 3TR. Browsing through the archives (the first two are dead links, the others seem to be OK), I get the impressing that TL is studying mathematics at bible college? Here bible colleges only teach divinity and theology but we do have teacher training at either state or catholic universities. There is also a reference to tagging but my language skills escape me. A kid playing tag I understand (one kid is in and has to "tag" or "tip" someone else and then they are in). I also understand tag as in the phrase to do someone in (reference to toe-tag). This is apparently a new use of the phrase. If I work it out, I will let you all know (or you can enlighten me instead).

This next blog is a regular read: When I Paint My Masterpiece. Lately, Melodrama has been a bit under the weather with ill health and bad luck. With the smoke in the kitchen, it might be worth trying some of those 'anti-smoker' air fresheners (last time I used an Amway one). We have some "friends" who cook obnoxious herbal remedies which occasionally have a very similar effect on the kitchen. I like the suggestions for what you can safely men and it reminds me of something an elderly (female) relative once said: "The good thing about men is that you can lay the flattery on with a trowel and they never suspect a thing."

What can I say about Did you bring the pre-wacked snakes? I know Tex doesn't like the ABC (I suspect that is where the link came from) but apparently he doesn't like labour (and Carmen Lawrence( either. On the other hand he did like Dick - the movie and based on his review, it could be worth a visit.

Bob's A Jaunty Little Blog was on my blogroll for ages. It is a neat site with a series of question posts (would you rather a or b) interspersed with stories about his family, his job; and his friends. It is a nice little blog and Bob finishes his posts with "your best pal in the whole wide world". BTW, he is looking for work!

This one is a bit hard for me to be fair about. Dodgeblogium appears to be primarily a political blog and it deals with issues that a probably relevant in the US but not so interesting for me and I probably don't understand the ramifications. For example, there is a quote post about the Alabama Chief Justice who was suspended for having the 10 commandments in the courthouse. There isn't a direct quote from the blog owner but he did entitle the piece "Loon Alabama Judge" so I take it that "he is agin it". Personally I think recognition that modern law has roots as far back as the 10 commandments is no big deal - besides the 10 commandments are Jewish, not Christian - Christians only have two commandments. Anyway, if you are interested in American politics, peruse the blog and let me know how accurate and relevant you find it.

The phrase "agin it" is (AFAIR) from an old joke about a country fellow who attends church every week with his wife. Well she has a bad fall and is bed bound so he has to go to church on his own. He tries hard to listen to the preacher but ends up dozing off. When he gets home, the missus asks him what the preacher spoke about. Thinking quickly, he responds "Sin". "Ah", says the wife, "and what did he say about sin?". The fellow makes a bee-line for the door and calls out over his shoulder - "He was agin [against] it."

Last cab off the rank for this week is The Gray Monk. I am sort of proud of having convinced the Monk to start a blog - I had read and listened to some of his material in the past and in fact have posted some of his material on the main blog (under another name of course). The Gray Monk lives in the UK (checkout his GeoURL pointer) and has started in rip-roaring fashion with posts on the definition of an expert (Experience is what helps us to make a different mistake the second time around); Rememberence Day vs terrorists; and Pratchett entry. Hmmmm. Maybe we need a quiz on "What Pratchett Character are you?". I don't know how to make one but I am sure some readers out there could tell me. Maybe Quizman?

Blog Roundup Explained

I had a couple of emails and a couple of comments about the selection process so I thought I would explain it a little better by walking though the process for this week. Effectively I have a little spider which grabs the index.html page from the all my blogs. I don't grab the index page from the humour blog because it has been merged back into the main blog. The spider then extracts only the links from these pages and throws away anything that doesn't qualify (for examples cross links between the sites). I try hard to allow for multiple blogs on a single site which means sometimes the per site count may be off a little but that doesn't matter in the long run. The links that get counted could come from (1) the blog roll (see right), (2) the blog family, (3) trackback links, (4) comments or (5) articles. Note that recent comments will get counted twice because they appear in both the comments under the article and also in the "Recent Comments" list.

Next the spider cleans up the links and sorts by quantity. This gives me a Top 10 list. Then it builds a flat list with the appropriate number of entries in it and makes ten random selections. Obviously there will occasionally be a dud link but that is just too bad :-) I may, at my discretion, substitute an alternative.

Note that the list is semi self-fulfilling in that a site picked last week will have four or five additional links this week. Again, looking at the numbers I don't think this will be a serious problem but if it turns out that the same sites are always in the selection list then I may bring in a one week delay before they can reappear (or something).

Friday Five

Oh bugger. What is an adjective? An adjective modifies a noun or a pronoun by describing, identifying, or quantifying words.

Well no-one asked for the nouns, so here come the adjectives, insert you own nouns!

1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space.
Old [House].

2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer.
Stodgy. Current. [Employer].

3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pasttime.
Browsing. Commenting. Blogging. [on the Net].

4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day.
Boring. Tiring. Useless. Uninspiring. [Day].

5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life.
Relaxed. Easy. Debt-free. Quiet. Non-urban. [Life].

Yeah. They might be lousy but at least I tried :-)

Quotable Quotes

These quotes were taken from 2003 and Beyond.

Microslosh partners:

This same fate [i.e. what happened to RealNames] has befallen numerous Microsoft "partners" in the past, and awaits those that sets up .NET services.Either your service is not successful and you go out of business, or it is successful, Microsoft commandeers it, and you go out of business.

Trusting Microslosh:

Trust, Trust, and Trust. Just about nobody trusts Microsoft any more, not even after a few drinks. Not even after smelling the money. Particularly after the screwing they got with License 6, businesses are wary of tying themselves tightly to Microsoft products. This is becoming a major and growing problem for the Redmond empire.

The future of Quick Books:

"But," you say, "how can Microsoft displace Intuit? Everybody's using QuickBooks. Intuit is just too popular." Microsoft's "Triple Terminator" is the transition of Windows software to .NET, Longhorn and Palladium. Microsoft will "help" Intuit make these transitions the same way they "helped" WordPerfect and Lotus make the transition from DOS to Windows. Only Microsoft software will be able to take full advantage of the this future world - Intuit is the WordPerfect of the future.

Profitability:

Microsoft's economic model requires rapid revenue growth. As their markets saturate, they must squeeze more money out of established customers. The whole purpose of monopoly is to increase profits through unrestriced price increases (new FTC rules have forced revealation that profits for Windows / Office are about 80%).

DOT NET (or is that DOT NOT):

Now, here's Microsoft's problem - .NET. Microsoft's Web services are still pretty much "vaporware" (often impolitely called .NOT), and .NET has serious competition. Sun Microsystems' Sun One and most especially IBM'sWebSphere are more mature, and are backed by companies long established in the data center space. WebSphere is backed by IBM Global Services. a worldwide operation with an estimated 2002 revenue of nearly $40 Billion.

Why choose Microslosh?:

Despite matters discussed above, some of which can be interpreted as detrimental to businesses, most businesses will choose Microsoft solutions, and many will choose only Microsoft solutions.
A principal factor is that America's business leaders simply don't want to think about complex technology issues - they want to think about golf. Microsoft promises them that, and being a large, and hugely successful corporation, they have high credibility with top business executives.

Replacing Novell:

ome years ago, Microsoft convinced management that moving from Novell NetWare servers to Microsoft Windows NT servers would save them huge amounts of money, because the servers could be administered by people with far less skill - it's all "point and click". Companies following this path found that every NetWare server was replaced not by one, but by three or four NT servers, and the admins were definitely cheaper, but there were four or five times as many of them.

Conclusion:

To avoid this fate [Microslosh Hell], you need to start moving to alternatives now. It would have been a lot easier to do before you moved from DOS to Windows, but it can still be done if you can summon up the nerve to do it.

From the references in the article, you might also want to read Windows XP Shows the Direction Microslosh is Going. There is also an article by the same author on the SCO vs IBM funfest which contains this gem:

Speculation [on SCO shares] began with well distributed reports from Renaissance Ventures, which include more erroneous thinking and suspension of disbelief than the war in Iraq.

P.S. The author of the main article doesn't like Apple much as an alternative. He appears to be pro-Linux (or perhaps pro-OS/2)

2003 and Beyond

This morning I was catching up on my reading (on the bus) and the journal selected at random from a pile waiting for attention was: AUUGN - The Journal of AUUG Inc., Volume 24, Number 3. Starting on page 18 was an article entitled "2003 and Beyond" and it turns out that the author also has a copy of this on the web. If you are in IT, you need to read this - right now! The author notes that he (or his company) build PC's but that doesn't stop him from outlining what the future will hold and what the choices are. The article is well written and could easily be passed to non-technical IT management for perusal - just don't be shocked if that means the anti-microslosh movement grows at the management level.

Interesting quote:

The PC software industry is in the final days of being destroyed by Microsoft. Having leveraged a monopoly it was handed by IBM into multiple monopolies, with complete control over the PC manufacturers, and with an "Ethics? We've heard of it" attitude, Microsoft is preparing to drive the few remaining significant software publishers out of the Windows market.
Soon there will be Microsoft, Intuit, and Symantec. While Intuit will put up a strong fight, its popularity is not something Microsoft will tolerate for long. Revenue plans for Microsoft Great Plains do not allow for the existence of accounting software competitors. Microsoft will use Longhorn and .NET to bash and batter Intuit.

MT Plugin: Entry

The Entry plugin allows the selection of a single entry. This can then be combined with Countdown to give you the blog lifetime (see over on the right). The later plugin can also be used to make a traditional "count down" counter.

To make these plugins (and others like the random photo) work, you need to rebuild your system regularly. Once again this can be achieved with a little plugin work and some fiddling in cron (the Unix job schedular). This blog rebuilds itself on the hour (every hour). The downside to rebuilding is that you have to remember not to save half edited configuration files around the turn of the clock - otherwise the auto-rebuild will be stuffed - this is not just practical advice, I am speaking from experience :-(

BTW - Word to the experimenter - be careful of tag names. The plugins site may list the tag as being CountupIfSeconds but it is more likely to be MTCountupIfSeconds.

GeoURL

If you want to make use of the GeoURL features (see the GeoURL logo on the right), then you need to be able to find your latitude and longitude. Now you may be one of those people who either has it tattooed on a body extremity or someone with a GPS, for the rest of us - the options are a little more limited. I did a Google search and found two google pages full of dead links and expensive software then I found someone with a blog entry on just the right topic.

Boy am I glad that Google indexes blog pages ....

BTW, Check out this post looks like another Gender Genie fan.

What a relief

Apparently I more likely to be male than female! Following a link from tales from the woods, I paid a visit to The Gender Genie which is able to predict the sex of an aauthor based on writing style. I fed it the text of this post (which was the most recent one to meet the length requirements). Results:

Words: 988 (NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.)
Female Score: 1638
Male Score: 2293
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

I don't think the reference to my beard growing had any impact on the result.....

MovableType

Just because I have a TypePad blog does not mean I have given up on MovableType. In fact the archive site for this blog is running on MovableType 2.64 with the absolutely amazing plugin manager. Anyway as a result I have been playing with plugins so if you have an MT site and you have always wondered about plugins, just ask me and I will give it a go - what do I have to lose when I am testing it against a non-production blog. As I get each tested plugin working I will post a short entry about it but you can ask about any plugin at all ...

Tested so far: Searches, PhotoGallery, Grid, and EmbedImage and AWStatsReferers.

The secret of success

I have just discovered why I haven't achieved great things in life. According to this site:

People with long beards who speak good english, wear khadi and generally look intellectual can get away with anything.

I can't even match one on this scale, my beard is short, I speak Australian (not English), I have no idea what khadi is (I looked it up in google an that didn't help) and I am afraid I look more stunned than intellectual. Oh well, maybe I could convince my wife to let me grow my beard longer ....

On the other hand the gent in question wasn't all that nice and maybe I'd rather be the victim in this case....

MT Plugin: AWStatReferers

I installed the AWStatReferers module and it just plain didn't work. It has been sitting over there on the right for a week with nothing in it. Now I glanced at the doco (whaddya mean "read" - I'm a techo; I just fiddle 'til it works) and set up the cron job but nada, zip, zilch and zero results.

Can't have that you know. What is the point of trying to write about a plugin that doesn't work? Well I decided to open up the file in vi again and have another look. Just randomly happened to notice a search pattern for awstats*$domain.txt that looked very suspicious. I know that my awstats file does not have my domain name in it (because I abbreviated it). Ahhhhhh. When the instructions said something about inserting a domain name they didn't really mean "domain name" they meant whatever the heck awstats was using as it's domain tag.

Easy fixed. Now it works like a charm. Now who the heck is tales from the woods? A blog that has listed me and I knew nothing about .... Excuse me while I go do some reading.

Recall Notice

The other day I commented on a post by NZ Bear. A new reader Kynn has objected to my post and claiming:

The discussion you link to has nothing to do with changes to the ecosystem, and only to NZ Bear's misunderstanding of LoL policy. League members were complaining about his unfair stereotyping, not about any alterations to the blogosphere.

I have responded in the comments (and via email to Kynn) and he/she (sorry, I have no idea if Kynn is a male or female name), has responded in turn:

Well, I urge you to check the original again, and you'll see that the League of Liberals members have not complained about the changes to the ecosystem. They've only complained about a separate issue: NZ Bear's commentary on the League's presumed tactics.

So the question is now open to my readers. Please note that I had not mentioned the group in the original article and it is not my intention to give them more publicity but on the other hand I do not wish to be unfair. If you read the posts and feel that the original article should be retracted, let me know (via the comments)....

What computers do best

[Ed: From Cynical Cyn...]

If this were a perfect world... This is what computers would do for you!! GO! Check it out

After checking it out, why not visit Cynical Cyn for more entertainment?

BTW That link goes to my alma mater!

MT Plugin: PhotoGallery II

Well I have finally got the photo gallery working. It required a number of plugins including: PhotoGallery, Grid, and EmbedImage. All three plugins are used on the Photo Album page to construct a table of images dynamically. Grid is the smart part the builds the table, EmbedImage creates the icons (which speeds up redraw) and PhotoGallery generates the list of images (ignoring the icons or thumbnails). PhotoGallery is also used over on the right for the random photo section which changes at least once per hour (more often if I am working on the blog at the time).

True Colourblindness!

Way back when a number of bloggers were involved in a discussion about racism. At the time, I tried (and not very well) to express my opinions about how there really ought to be something better than reverse discrimination. Note that some people blog because they have a way with words (e.g. Melodrama and Paul) whereas others like myself blog because we are full of it. Well I really had this idea and couldn't get it out and today I stumbled over someone who was able to put it into words (just subtitute your own country for America if you can't read around the jingoism).

The link was found via Jay Solo.

Eating Cake?

I want to have my cake and eat it too! Well not literally. At least, not in this case. The story to hand is from Jiva and it is about the question of whether a gay extra-marital affair counts as adultery. The court (in the story) says "Yes" but the corespondent wants to appeal.

The immediate reaction is to think of all these "equal rights" claims for the recognition of gay marriage. If gay couples can married then the question of an adult affair being adultery is obvious - yes. You can't argue for the marriage and against the adultery...

You could, I guess make a case against marriage and against the adultery decision (be assuming that extra-marital same sex affairs are not really "sex" - also known as the Clinton defence).

With a bit more thought I figure on the other alternative - no to the marriage and yes to the adultery. How do I achieve that? Well, my (possibly limited) understanding or marriage is that it is between a man and a woman (ignoring polygamy for the moment) and changing basic definition would mean making it something other than marriage (note this is not a discussion about equal rights for same-sex couples; it is about the definition of a term). At the same time, an extra-marital affair with someone else is a breach of that marriage. Technically it is a violation of a social contract between spouses. That means I think the court got it right.

What is the real question? Why is this even going to court? I thought the 'no blame' divorce system was pretty much available everywhere in the US (and Australia) in which case the question of adultery is between the husband and wife - why involve the lawyers?

Juxtaposition

I dunno about all youse (pronounced "ewes") guys (generic, not necessarily male) / bloggers out there but I don't pay much attention to the order of items on the blog. They just sort of pour out (or trickle out sometimes) in any old order. Some are done in advance (e.g. most jokes and quizzes), some are done in retrospect (e.g. the article was drafted for yesterday but unfinished so I back post it to yesterday) but pretty much you take it as it comes. The hardest ones (where I get an idea but don't have time to formalise it) tend to sit in a tab on my browser for a few days (or until I restart the browser) in the hopes that I will get more inspiration.

In this case, the inspiration stems from two posts in succession over at Dusting My Brain (I think I need a vacuum cleaner, not a quick dust). The first post (actually the second from the writers perspective) is about comment spammers and the second (or first) is about being mugged.

Now I don't want to make light of the mugging (which must be a terrible experience) but the placement of the two articles together seemed to be somehow appropriate. For people who pay for their bandwidth in particular, the recent blog comment spam has been a sort of mugging. Personally I think such idiots are interrupting the conversations that I am having with my friends (and readers?). My long term solution will be to migrate archive articles off the main blog onto an MT blog where I can block the comments but that won't help with more recent articles.

From another perspective it is interesting to consider how hostile we bloggers (bloggites? Bloggermaniacs?) are to the comment spammers and yet we accept that these muggings are possible - not that we approve but we know they exist. I wonder if we could funnel all the outrage about SPAM into something which ultimately is more important?

[Ed: Yes I know it is a major heresy for a geek to suggest that anything other than the internet could be important but don't forget that I can remember when the Internet wasn't. Back in the days of UUCP and AARnet. We had email and news but both were dodgy and there was no WWW. That means, unlike the newcomers, I can visualise life without the net :-)]

Urgent Virus Warning

[Ed: This one via email from Ben. Thanks.]

Subject: URGENT VIRUS WARNING!!!

There is a new virus - code name "Work". If you receive "work" from your colleagues or your boss, via e-mail, 'phone or anywhere else, do not touch "work" under any circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should happen to come into contact with this virus, follow these steps:
1) Put on your jacket
2) Round up two good friends
3) Go straight to the nearest pub
4) Order three drinks, 14 times.
You will find that "work" has now been completely deleted from your brain. Forward this virus warning immediately to at least 5 friends. Should you realise that you do not have 5 friends this means that you are already infected by this virus and "work" already controls your whole life.

An American in London

[This joke via email from The Gray Monk.]

An American in Paris?
An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business.
Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up. "Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked.
"I'm sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta take a leak."
"You can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me."
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the policeman, "whiz away."
The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started pissing on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning towards the officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this British courtesy?" "No,"
retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."

Digital Camera

[Ed: This joke via email from Robert.]

Very cheap. Only one owner. Only one photo.

See extended entry for contents of camera's storage card.

You have two cows

Or at least Jay Solo does.

It is an update to a classic old joke with such wonderful additions as:

CALIFORNIAN
You have a cow and a bull. The bull is depressed. It has spent its life living a lie. It goes away for two weeks. It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation. You now have two cows. One makes milk; the other doesn't. You try to sell the transgender cow. Its lawyer sues you for discrimination. You lose in court. You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages. You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow. You change your business to beef. PETA pickets your farm. Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway. Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows." Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for the children." Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico. The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats. You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations. The cow starves to death. The NY Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.

Go read the whole thing ...

Blog Ecosystem

As I continue on my blog-roll review, I got to The Truth Laid Bear and (as with all my audit sessions), I started reading (which explains why it takes so long to get anything done). The main story (at least when I read it) was about changes to the ecosystem. These changes revolve around the counting of duplicate links. To put the matters into perspective, it was possible to stack the ecosystem in your favour by creating multiple blogs with multiple links to each other. The so-called "cut & paste" syndrome. NZ Bear decided, in his infinite wisdom, to try and reduce the damage that this causes to the ranking system. What was really interesting is thta he received complaints about the changes :-O (go read the article and find out why).
Now here is my take on the matter (not that my opinion is relevant but I like to listen to myself talk read my own words). The whole blog ecosystem is meant to be fun, i.e. enjoyable. I think it is cool to have some sort of ranking system where I can watch my friends blogs go up (and occasionally down). To encourage the interlinking of blogs (as opposed to cut and paste) I try to make sure that trackback links and comments are credited on the main page so that they will count as links. This is a type of incentive for some people to leave comments. Others are not interested but that is cool, it still remains a carrot for others. My reasoning for this is twofold - firstly it means I can effectively "thank" someone leaving a comment (or backtrack) by providing an ecosystem link, and secondly some of the best blogs I have ever found have been due to similar links in the comments on other blogs. Note that this policy does not directly help my own blog ecology ranking but that wasn't the point of the exercise.

I would like to say "Thanks!" NZ Bear for the whole Ecology and for your efforts in maintaining it.

Oh, and for the curious:

P.S. For the really curious, here is my brother's blog (which is now called Aussie Courier but the ecosystem update is still pending):

Talk on public transport?

I dunno what the rules are where you live but in Sydney, people don't (usually) talk on public transport. At least not on the public transport that I catch. Sometimes you get a couple (or three) of ladies who have been shopping and they don't sit next to each other - maybe across the aisle or one behind the other and then they talk loudly in a language other than English. Doesn't bother me. I try to guess the language from the sound and I wish it was easier to the English speakers to open-up.

Mobile phones are completely different. People seem to answer (or even initiate) calls of the most intimate nature and then act as if there is nobody around them. What is it with that? I really don't want to know about your opinion of the bloke that took you out last night or your current excuse to your boss for being late.

This train of thought was triggered by stumbling over this article as I started a prune and cleanup of my blogroll. Check out the post - should he try to chatup the chick in the green coat?

More Women Drivers

This short video clip was sent via email by The Gray Monk in response to the recent series on women drivers. The first time I saw the clip, I thought it was a cool way to park. The next time I watched it, I spotted the lights flashing when the car hit the wall.

The movie is in the extended post to reduce load times on the main page. Alternately, you can just download it (use option click or whatever) and watch it on your own machine.

Emails and Comments

In the process of preparing this weeks Blog Roundup (which is running so late it makes NSW State Rail look timely) I was double checking links for the randomiser and I stumbled over this article at Dusting my Brain. The gist of the proposal is that:

If someone takes the time to send you an email ... wouldn't it be polite of you to respond? It doesn't take long to hit reply in your email program and type the words "thank you."

Well no. But (and I have a big BUTT) there are circumstances..... I try to respond to emails and to comments. As a rule, I try to respond within two or three days BUT it doesn't always work that way. In the past I have been known to pre-load the blog (i.e. write the articles ahead of time) because I will be away for a day or so. Other items (like the quiz entries on a weekend) are completed as I find them and then added to a queue. Same with multi-part humour (like the driving items recently). That means that I may not notice comments immediately. When I do notice them, I try to respond with a comment (if appropriate) and I send a copy of my added comment to the poster (if possible). Well, that sounds like I meet the criteria so what is the issue? First problem is lack of an email address. Some comments are simply left by people that don't have an email address (or at least not a valid email address). Second problem is information overload. Let say you have 10 readers and they all email or comment regularly. That makes 50 emails a week - heavy but not too bad. Now you make the mistake of posting something controversial and you get a bunch of comments, email, death threats (just joking :-) on that last item). On top of that you may have more stuff coming in. I have just checked and there were about 400 emails though my mail box this week. About 20 were blog things. The third problem comes when the technology just doesn't work. Every now and then I notice a comment on the blog that I was never notified about? If I don't know about the comment, I don't know to respond.

Really I guess the point is that I agree with the theory behind the proposal but I am concerned about the practicality. I just hope that all you readers are not too offended if I happen to overlook a response to your email or comment. It is never because I don't care (or I would turn the comments off and hide my email address) but it may be because things are busy or I have been negligent. Sorry.

Blog Roundup

As per the last time I managed to get this done, the rules are simple. I take a metaphorical hat, throw in the blogs that I read regularly, throw in the blogs on my blogroll and then throw in any blogs that have appeared in comments or trackbacks since the last time I did this. Ummmm. Oh yes, that means some blogs get more than one chance (lucky buggers), and the judges decision is final, all correspondance is via the comments section below. A good wine whinge should guarantee a review next time....

Oh, and I should have mentioned about duplicate drawings. I will not review the same blog twice in one week, instead I will swap in some blog that has never appeared here before.

According to my magic perl script there are 142 entries in the random draw (mainly because I have missed a couple of weeks). Drum Roll.....

First random draw: Technically Speaking. Now I could have sworn that Tony was on the blog roll but apparently not. I will have to fix that. Just a tick while I make a Newton note about it. OK. Tony is in the draw because he added a comment to one of the "Women Driver" series of pictures. His site always has a bunch of items oriented to the technical minded. I won't say "geek" because that imply only computer technology whereas Tony tends to cover a number of topics (I seem to recall some neat bike shots in the past). Currently there is a good (geek) article on CD labelling making the CDs unreadable. Basically I am glad now that I never had enough time to go around and label all those CDs! Personally I would love one of those doohickys that burns the CD and prints a label direct on the CD. Tony also has recent articles on the lunar eclipse (which can't be seen down under), the solar flares, and despite the recent problems on my home site, I have to assure you that I am not hosting Tony :-) BTW Tony has this neat feature where the trackback url appears under the article. For those of us on TypePad, this is a welcome blessing because the old MT practice of resolving the trackbacks automagically is not yet available.

Another TypePad feature that is missing in action is the "Most Recently Updated" display of the blogroll. The idea is that the blogroll should always have the most recently updated links at the top which means that older links (to extinct blogs) can safely drop off the bottom. I am have considering moving the blog roll back to my home server so I hack such a feature into it. Anyway, the second random draw is .... Technically Speaking. Hmmm. Let's try for number three. Same again. Let me go an look at the code again. Hmmmm. Static is probably not a good idea. Just talk among yourselves for a moment ....

Trying again, using version 0.2 of the random blog selection machine and we get ... Kingsley. Kingsley is also missing from the blog roll which is quite strange because I read his blog at least once a week and he often comments here. At the moment there is a well-thought out discussion about voting behaviour in India. It is worth a read even if the situation is not relevant to where you live (in my case, Australia), because he is talking about a dual house system which is like the one the politicians would design if they could. They would argue that a system like India's (which seems to be first-past-the-post) would be cheaper to run (probably true) and would better reflect voter intention (probably false). It is a regular thing in Australia for one side or the other to raise "reforms" to the system which ultimately would make it more like India's!. He also has a post written in Tamil and suggests that you need a unicode Tamil font to read it. Personally I suspect that being able to read Tamil would also help :-) Finally there is an article on 3D pictures which attracted my immediate attention. I was never able to see the 3D maps in geography (via a steroscope) and guess what - I can't do it with this wiggly pictures either.

Next please .... Tech Ronin. I came across this site after a comment posted on one of my New Zealand / Rugby Union posts. By the way I have my fingers firmly crossed for Scotland (playing Australia) for reasons that you may recall from some months ago. Of course by the time you read this (in fact probably by the time I post this), the winner will be a foregone conclusion. Anyway back to Janet's site. She is a Panther fan and in fact I passed on her details to Cindy as an example of a satisfied panther user. In fact Janet even got a set of dog tags (dog tags for a Panther?) which were available as part of "Night of the Panther" deals in the USA. Locally, there was no mention of anything. Panther was available around 9AM local time and it was juts business as usual. I guess we locals miss out. Almost makes me want to move to the US :-) Then I think more seriously about moving to Canada so that I can be in a civilised country but be close to the US for the purpose of buying Mac gear :-) Speaking of things we miss out on, there is a post about buying from the iTunes store. This is something that would appeal to me because I will not buy an album unless I like more than half the songs on it. I wander down to the store, listen to a track I like, find a track I hate and then leave without purchasing. So much of the music seems to be a few good tracks, a few mediocre tracks and some crap bundled together on a CD. Buying individual tracks not only has a lot of appeal (I would probably spend more money this way) but it also gives a far more direct feedback to the singer/song-writer about what people really liked. It may not be what they expect!

Two more to go. Next drum roll please.... Interested-Participant. This site was part of the Dead Parrot Society (in-joke that only regular readers would know about) in the dim distant past. The death of the parrot does not appear to have adversely affected any of the players.... I like this story which is not enough to get me to visit Moscow but certainly adds to the interest. There is also a neat story about reverse discrimination but it would be interesting to see if the "victims" complained.On the topic of strange rulings, there is a sensible one - apparently Illinois has decided that illegal aliens should not be allowed to drive. This is sort of interesting because I always figured the little green aliens could fly around anyhow. [Ed: Sarcasm alert - yes I know that Americans use "aliens" to refer to illegal immigrants.]

Last one for this week.... drum roll.... dramatic pause to add to the suspense.... and it is Smorgasboard. Hmmm. This is a new blog for me altogether. It appeared as a link in a comment left by 'Quizman' and I know absolutely nothing about this blog (yet) except that the comment was well thought out and Quizman reads Melodrama (still listed in my blog roll as 'When I Paint My Masterpeice') which says something positive :-) (unless of course you are Paul). There doesn't seem to be an 'About' link on the page (although maybe I overlooked it), but there is a great primer on Understanding the Blues which looks like a bit of Internet humour that I have never seen before (a trend which is becoming all too rare). I especially like the last rule:

21. - I don't care how tragic your life is: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry.

Scrolling down through the clues articles, I note that Quizman also reads Jivha, Patrix and Kinglsey (see above). Obviously a man of good choice although I am not on his blog-roll (yet). There is an interesting post on >a href="http://smorgasbord.rediffblogs.com/2003_02_11_smorgasbord_archive.html#1067828116">liberalism which reminds me of the first post in the Parrot series which was based around the definition of 'liberal'. I think the consensus was that the phrase was tied to the underlying culture. Liberal in the US is not the same as Liberal in Australia and apparently not the same as Liberal in India either (I assume Quizman is in India because of the blogroll and the site). Then, I discover than Quizman was running in the LA marathon. Oh well, I have no idea where he lives.

Hmmm. Interesting mix. I wonder if I should disallow the previous weeks entries from the next week. Have to look at coding that and see if it makes any difference. Until then, enjoy reading these five and be sure to let me know if you find something worth reading out there....

MT Plugin: PhotoGallery I

You may well have noticed the random picture on the main page. This is supposed to be able to link photos from any story so that from the photo, you can navigate to the text. Unfortunately it is not working all that well yet. The reason is because I have only one test photo (to date) and that photo is only linked to this article. So yes, this is another test post :-)

Quiz of the Week(end)

[Ed: Actually, this quiz is way off target. I drink Fosters Light Ice but prefer single malt whiskey. I have not yet tasted an American beer that I like - maybe there are some decent ones that don't taste like horse water but so far I haven't met them.]

Open Mail Relays

Given my attitude towards spam and spammers (scum sucking bottom feeders), I need to be extra careful. Well, I have just finished getting mail (sort of working) under Panther (Server Edition) anf I figured I had better test it to make sure I wasn't providing a little spam haven.
Looks like I passed:

Relay test result
All tests performed, no relays accepted

Phew. You can check your relay here. You can see a detailed test/result list here.

Site News

Well I almost have a review ready for publication. Will try and finish it off tomorrow and post it (on the review blog of course). It has been a few weeks and I feel bad about that but things have just been so hectic. I almost got it done last weekend and then didn't get it published and of course the references are out of date. Like last time, it is a brief review - 10 sites selected at random from either my reading list or from the referral list.

I have also been deleting comment spam. I had seen it (and dealt with it) previously on my MT blogs but never on TypePad. I will have to look into some form of automation. I also intent to start archive entries off the TypePad blog (after 6 months). The archived entries will appear here and additional comments will be disabled. This should help reduce the problem (I hope).

There is another new blog running on the iMac and it is another relative who has decided to get in the act. As soon as there is some content, I will pass out the URL.

Another note is that the archive blog (mentioned above) will be used for testing plugins. If you see something you like the look of, just ask and I'll dig out the relevant plugin details. I figure it will be a fairly good test bed because of the variety of articles and the fact that it does not need to be up all the time. Actually I have sort of cheated by putting a cache in front of it so that a failed rebuild will not show up immediately (the cache will supply the old pages) ...

That reminds me, if you feel that I have inadvertently removed your comment and you were not indulging in comment SPAM, then send me a polite email and I will restore your comment. On the other hand, if your were indulging in comment SPAM then you can take a long walk off a short pier put your head in a bucket of water five times and only pull it out once bugger off rot in hell no longer do so because I have banned your IP address.

Comments

You may have noticed that a number of the posts have either no comments or, in some cases, no way to add more comments. This is not because I don't know how to install that feature ;-) but rather because I am trying to minimise the impact of comment spam. That way this is currently set up there will be no comments available on Administrative posts (like this one) and there will also be no additional commenting on posts more than three months old. I also actively ban the IP addresses of known comment spammers.

MT Plugin: Searches

Hey look - new feature. Thanks to the amazing plugin manager, you too can see the strange searches that people attempt on this site. If you check over on the side bar you may see an entry 'Searches' which contains some of the more recent requests.

For more details, check out this plugin.

Friday Five

1. What food do you like that most people hate?
When I was on tour in Scotland (in December) we were served Haggis and Brussels sprouts. My wife and I both enjoyed it but pretty much everyone else refused to eat the sprouts. Then someone asked if I knew how they made a Haggis. After I explained, a few were sick and the rest refused to eat the Haggis. Dunno why, tasted fine to me.

2. What food do you hate that most people love?
I am happy to try almost anything. The two things I cannot eat are banana and coriander.

3. What famous person, whom many people may find attractive, is most unappealing to you?
I could give you a long list. What is it with Michael Jackson? Madonna?

4. What famous person, whom many people may find unappealing, do you find attractive?
Hmmmm. That's a bit harder. If you change "attractive" to "admire" then I could add someone like Tim Fischer or Fred Nile. Both were/are relatively unpopular but both appear to be striving to do their best for their country (as opposed to personal gain). Unfortunately (being male and hetrosexual), neither strike me as being "attractive".

5. What popular trend baffles you?
What is it with the pants falling off business. You know where the waist is around your knees (for guys) or you make it low enough to show off your fat stomach and pubic hair (for girls). I know fashions are meant to look "different" but these make you look downright ugly. It's almost like some fashion guru's decided they would go out of their way to make everyone look like a dork.

[Explanation: The Haggis is a small animal found in Scotland. It has two short legs on one side and two longer legs on the other side as a result of running around the hills all the time. If you jump in front of one it will be startled and turn around, lose it's balance and roll to the bottom of the hill. The skins are dried and worn by men in the form of a pouch hung in front of the kilt - also known as a sporran. The older the haggis, the more spectacular the sporran. Some sporrans are now made for artificial substances like leather. You can find more details here, here and here.]

Tech Support II

You all know how a former smoker makes the most violent anti-smoker? Well in this case, having shaken my former ISP like a bad habit, I am going to have a good rant (or winge) about them. My former ISP was part of a large telecommunications company (former monopoly) and the service plan rhymed (and smelt) like PigPong (Cable). This story was inspired by a comment in this post at Utterly Boring:

Generally, I won't call tech support people. I'll go online, and try everything I can find and try to figure it myself. I'll only call tech support as a last ditch effort.

I can empathise with that position. I would rather do some reading, on-line searching, or human networking before logging a call. Having been on the end of a support line, I figure they would appreciate the elimination of the obvious so that we don't waste any time.

Here is the picture, I have a cable modem connected to PigPong. It has three lights on it. The leftmost light (N) is out - this means (I have read the book) that the link between me and PigPong is down. The cable modem connects to an airport basestation which has port redirection turned on for important things like web browsing but turned off for everything else (like all those windblows administration ports and things). On the inside I have my main server connected by 100Mb ethernet to the basestation and a number of laptops connecting over a wireless link. All of this is sanctioned by PigPong because I am a "business customer". I need to get on-line for some client work so I want to know how long the outage will last (should I arrange another connection elsewhere or wait).

I ring Tech Support. I push buttons to navigate menus (actually I have written the sequence down to save time and just press all the buttons at the start. I get put on hold. I get lots of messages played at me. One is about some outage in Victoria (different state, so whoopee). None of them mention problems in Sydney. I am aware that there is currently one of these regular Microslosh specials attempting to bring the net to it's knees. SoBig, VeryBig, BigBlast, whatever. Probably causing havoc at the ISP but I just want to know how long the outage will be.

More music. Message suggestion that I check their web site for problem resolution steps. Good idea. Must remember to ask how to check the website to find out how to check their website....

More waiting.

Time passes.

My beard grows longer.

I clip my fingernails and start on the toenails.

I go and have lunch and come back to find that I am still on the queue (not really but I could have done).

I finally reach someone. It is immediately obvious that we are not in Kansas. In fact we are not in any land of the native English, Australia or American speakers. That's cool but unexpected. I explain that I am having problems and mention the little light being off...
Alleged Technician: You need to reboot your PC.
Me: No worries. It is not actually a PC, it is a router.
AT: No, no, you must reboot your PC.
Me: Well really there is a Mac and a router and the cable modem.
AT: Oh no, you must connect your PC direct to the cable modem.
Me: I won't do that. I just want to know how long the outage will be.
AT: There is no outage.
Me: (Well maybe he knows best - perhaps the LED is blown). Well I can't connect.
AT: Go to your start menu and ....
Me: I don't have a start menu. This is a Mac.
AT: Macs can't use the internet. Get your PC and stop wasting my time.
Me: Look, I can reboot my Mac. I can reboot my router, I can reboot the modem. None of that fixes the problem. What else do you want to try?
AT: You must connect directly to the modem.
Me: Why.
AT: We do not support the use of routing equipment. It is very illegal to connect one.
Me: I want to speak to your supervisor.
AT: I must report you for using a router.

At this point, to my entire discredit, I lost my temper. I had been waiting for so long and this idiot was just stuffing me around. I believe I called him a cretin and pointed out that I was on a business plan (and had been on it for five looooong years) and I wanted his manager on the phone NOW! So AT put me on hold again.
AT: Sorry sir (I have been promoted!) to keep you waiting. The manager is not available.
Me: Well who can help with my problem.
AT: If you just connect your machine to the modem.
Me: Don't try that again. Can you reach my modem from your end.
AT: No I cannot. Just a moment. What is that.

Muffled noises at the other end - someone is obviously coaching him. After a few minutes I suddenly get back on hold again.
AT: I think the problem will go away if you reboot everything now.

As he says this, the light turns on. Obviously something he was able to fix at his end. Well my problem is solved but I have a real sour feeling. I thank AT and start looking for a new ISP (which I have since found).

I have read about how this outsourcing of call centres is supposed to work. You put the call centre somewhere cheap, train the staff well and no-one is the wiser. In this case, the poor guy answering the phone had no idea what was going on. Was it his poor English? Maybe he missed the training? Maybe he was brought up in the school of "reboot to fix it".

Out-takes

Those of you who write blogs (as well as read them) would be aware that sometimes ideas just don't make it out the door. In this case I saw a news item about the Microslosh reward being posted for catching those responsible for the recent virus attacks. I immediately thought to myself: "Cool, turn in Billy Boy and make some money". I even chatted at work about it. Then I sat down to write and got distracted by NetNewsWire (bad NetNewsWire!) and found that someone had beaten me to the punch (and done it far more professionally than I could):

See, as faithful viewer Jason Nieckar pointed out, CNET reports that Microsoft has launched the Anti-Virus Reward Program by tossing a $5 million fund at international law enforcement agencies and posting a $250,000 bounty for information leading to the arrest, conviction, and subsequent execution of the rapscallions who unleashed the Blaster and SoBig viruses that ran roughshod over Windows networks earlier this year. (Need some walking-around money? Consider the exciting and rewarding life of a Cyber-Criminal Bounty Hunter! You get to pretend to be Boba Fett and make money while doing it!)
A quarter of a million dollars for fingering the SoBig and Blaster perps? Considering that experts estimate the damages from each of those viruses to be in the billions of dollars, does anyone else feel that Microsoft is, well, cheaping out? $250,000 is probably roughly what the company spends on Twizzlers for the candy dishes in the break rooms every month. Even that $5 million total that Microsoft is turning over to law enforcement to fund the crackdown on virus writers probably doesn't even come close to the company's budget for routine weekly soul removal treatments for its staff.
But there's another reason why Microsoft's reward program is unseemly: arguably the most important ingredient in any of the big viruses is the Microsoft security hole it exploits to get down and funky in the first place-- and Microsoft's responsibility for Blaster is even more apparent, since that particular worm only existed to illustrate and protest the very Swiss cheese security that made its spread possible. (Blaster's code contains this message: "Billy Gates why do you make this possible? Stop making money and fix your software.") So, as faithful viewer Ryan Hoysuggests, does that mean we can turn in Microsoft's own programmers and score up to half a mil? Ka-ching!!

You can check the whole story here (scroll down to the third story).

In an unrelated aside, the guys at work were deciding who we could turn in so that we could claim the reward. After some discussion about who would be a good candidate, P (name deleted) nominated M (our Rugby-loving Kiwi friend) as a candidate. J (another deleted name) stomped on the idea: "They'll never believe he was capable of it - he's from New Zealand". Let's hope that Scotland win on the weekend - I don't think a Kiwi/Ozzie final will be conducive to office productivity :-)

Women Drivers V

This is the last in our series on women drivers. The photos were supplied by WEBY (thanks mate).

Are you really an expert?

The definitive expert test can be found here . Certainly works for me. I was trying to remember what I say when people ask "Do you know anything about Unix?". The normal answer is along the lines of "some".

Have to remember to be less modest as I redraft my resume. Got a call from a head hunter today and it sounds like an interesting job (but the same money and further away). I think I'll nibble the bait but we might need to dicker over the price :-)

Tech Support

I have, at different time, been on both ends of the Tech Support line. The worst stories I have about providing tech support are when I was working for a financial organisation and the "operators" used to call with their problems. In this particular organisation the operators were assumed to be about as smart as trained monkeys. They had job sheets where every step was itemised and had to be initialled before proceeding. About 3 am I get paged for a support call so I ring in (as per the rules) to talk to Dopey (not his real name).

Dopey: Ummm. I gotta problem.
Me: What
Dopey: Ummm. I did step 6 before step 5.

I am racking my brain to think what the steps were numbered, eventually give up, grab my Newton and checks list. The abbreviated list looks something like:
...
Step 4: Insert current tapes (labelled XXXX1 through to XXXX4) in tape stacker (labelled UNIX-4)
Step 5: On the console select menu item (B)ackup and press return once. Wait for finished message.
Step 6: Eject stacker cartridge from tape stacker (labelled UNIX-4)
...
Basically, Dopey has ejected the cartridges before the backup has finished (actually as it turned out, before the backup started). He figured there were two activities that had to be done out of his chair (and away from the TV) so he economised by doing steps 4 and 6 together before trying step 5 which of course failed due to the lack of a tape to write on.

Me: OK, Do step 4 again.
Dopey: I can't.
Me: Why not?
Dopey: Because it has already been signed and logged (i.e. initialled and timestamped).
Me: You have to do step 4 again.
Dopey: I can't.
Me: Don't make me come in there with my LART and deal with you!

At this point Dopey hangs up. I have to get in the car and drive into the city. I park in the garage and head upstairs. There is no sign of Dopey - he split and never returned.

One day I will tell you a story from the other side: The Story of the ISP from Hell (with new improved outsourced call center). In the meantime, you could go and read this one while you wait.

Apologies

Last weekend (as mentioned earlier) I upgraded the main server at home to Panther (MacOS X 10.3) Server. I have been running the client (normal retail) version for some considerable time and was happy with it. The first problem I struck was having to use the GUI to make changes instead of the command line (I am a command-line junkie from pre-GUI days). Oh well. The next problem was that I could not get MovableType going at all. The imported backups were in random order and the rebuilds kept failing and I was tearing my hair out.

It turned out that the problem was the version of mysql which ships with the server edition of MacOS X. It has a problem with datetime fields. After lots of command-line jiggery-pokery I sort of guessed the problem and started looking for confirmation in the forums at MovableType and at Apple. Found one other guy with the same issues and the same probable cause and that justified the effort of exporting the data, upgrading mysql and reimporting everything.

Whew. Anyway the locally hosted blogs Aussie Courier and Annals Australasia should be up and running. The archive blog for this site (the old Bored on the Bus) blog is still stuffed but should be fixed later this week. It will be used to archive off the older posts from TypePad (with comments turned off to frustrate the spammers).

At least it wasn't a Mac problem - you guys would never let me forget it!

Moderate Muslims

A little while ago, I quoted Paul Jané in an article. One of my regular readers took exception to the quote in a comment. Paul, in turn,took exception to the comment on the quote. The whole thing sort of escalated from there with trackback links to Aimless and Dodgeblogium.

At the risk of offending everyone in one foul swoop, I would like to note that both parties have a valid point and it is one which is very hard to discuss in our multi-cultural, politically correct society. Let me start with Melodrama's comments (which have been expanded in comments on Paul's article - see link above and on her own blog as well):

[Edited]I have been reading a lot of muslim blogs of late and I really think those definitions are unwarranted and smack of American intolerance.
Compare it to what Bush has done, AND is still supported by a majority of Americans, I think I need to come up with alternate definitions of 'moderate' Americans.
I by no means support killing and butchery in the name of religion, but its high time we stopped pointing fingers at all muslims.

OK. Point taken. It can be offensive to lump a group of people together (in this case Muslims) and then make a joke about them (implying that moderate Muslims were those unable to get hold of explosives). Of course I have made the problem worse by referring to the joke again :-) Yes it is intolerant and politically incorrect to do this. Point to Melodrama for sensitivity and another point for suggesting we come up with a definition of moderate Americans (note that Paul is actually Canadian).

Now how about the other side of the coin? I am not an expert in Muslim beliefs (but like Paul I have friends who know far more than I do) but one of the comments on Paul's posting matches my crude understanding of what it means to be a Muslim. Before I get into that I want to make it quite clear how I stand about "partial belief". Paul mentions the idea of being "human" first and "Muslim" second (i.e. humanity overrides religious beliefs). Presumably that means that in a conflict of interest between religious dictates and human common-sense, this person would not be a Muslim (for the duration of that conflict at least). I have written about this previously in my criticism of the rainbow sash brigade (pro-homosexuals who disrupt Catholic services). If you disagree with the Catholic church , you are not a Catholic (at least in as far as your disagreement extends). I have argued before that this is no different to belonging to a club that has rules about wearing a tie - you don't wear the tie, you don't get in. You can form your own club somewhere else but this club has this requirement (one of the requirements of being catholic is to accept what the church teaches).

Getting back on track, one of the requirements of being a Muslim is to accept what Islam teaches. If you don't accept that, you are not a true Muslim. In fact Islam teaches that you are damned and destined for hell along with all the other apostates. This then gets to the point of Paul's comment. If you are a good Muslim then you will side with the lunatics who suicide and blow up innocent civilians. I could be persuaded to believe that a war of independence could be waged by guerilla type movements against a government and its armed forces. I cannot be convinced that a legitimate war of independence can be carried out by blowing up innocent women and children for the sake of publicity. Here comes the crunch, Islam teaches that such activities are legitimate. Non-Muslims are not people - they don't count. This is discrimination in the extreme and just as I would argue (and have argued) with a white South African attacking "blecks", I will argue with a Muslim about this out-and-out religious racism. Paul's comment, is a light hearted way of pointing at a dilemma that faces Muslims: a "good" Muslim supports and gets involved in Jihad (the destruction of the infidel by any means possible), a "bad" Muslim does not and will either be condemned in turn or find some explosives.

Now to be somewhat moderate, this does not mean that every person who professes to be a Muslim is automatically a target (or carrying explosives) and more than suggesting that all Catholics support the inquisition or that all Indians live in Bombay :-) It is possible that a nominal-Muslim is unaware of their religious teaching or its implications (particularly in environments where there is no real education, especially for women). It is also possible that this "moderate" person is not really aware of any alternative possibilities due to doctrinal mind-washing. It should not be possible, however, for an educated, thinking person to voluntarily become or remain a Muslim without having at least some understanding of what they accepting and that is the target of Paul's barb. So two points to Paul for highlighting the problem and doing so in a way that was witty and intelligent.

Given the tie in points, does this mean that I disagree with everything Melodrama says? No, I agree too that we need a definition of a moderate American (but I won't tackle the Canadian question) and to that end I will offer a modified joke:

An airport controller at Sydney Airport had radio contact with a Piper Cub (light aircraft) which wanted to land in Sydney. The controller tried to redirect the pilot to Bankstown (where light aircraft are supposed to land) but the pilot insisted that he had 40 passengers on board. Now four was a possibility but not 40. In the end the controller allowed him to land and hurried down to see what would happen. The pilot jumped out and started lifting 40 little tiny passengers out. Each one was no more than 8 inches high. When questioned by the controller, he responded: "Oh they are Americans with all the hot air taken out".

Melodrama, I hope that forms a reasonable definition of a moderate American :-) Now who is going to tackle the question of a moderate Australian? Is that one who only drinks four schooners a day?

P.S. The original joke was about Texans but I figured I could just substitute American without spoiling it too much.

Women Drivers IV

Here is another in our series on women drivers. The photos were supplied by WEBY (thanks mate).

Postus Interruptus

There will be some delay in regular posts due to (1) an attack of the lurgi (exacerbated by herbal remedies) and (2) frantic attempts to repair the blogs that I have destroyed in the Panther server upgrade. Current indications are that there is a bug in the version of mysql that ships with Panther Server Edition.

Slow Weekend

In case you didn't notice, there was very little activity on the weekend. On Saturday, we travelled just over 360 km to attend a 50th anniversary for a good friend (and godmother to my son). The mass was held at Lochinvar and the party afterwards was at St. Josephs, East Maitland. It is hard to imagine spending 50 years committed to one job and still loving it after all this time. Unlike employees where I work, there is no gold watch for long service; there is a celebration but things carry on as normal afterwards....

The second problem (apart from being stiff and sore from all that driving) was the upgrade to my main server did not go as well as planned. I had tuned and fiddled the previous *client* version to behave like a server (DNS, mail, web, dav, imap, etc) but this time I actually installed the server release of Panther. This comes with neat gui tools for dumb users who are unfamiliar with Unix command lines BUT it confuses the heck out of me because I can't find anything on the millions of screens I have to look at. For example, how do I add VirtualHost commands to apache? I can do it on a vanilla install but this "user friendly" version has hidden both the settings and the control file. Want a harder one? How do you install a self-signed SSL certificate? I can do it for the web browser - no worries mate. But the Apple supplied instructions don't work - there is some weird keychain authentication problem. That means this blog is OK (hosted at Typepad) but a few others are off the air until I fix it.

Women Drivers III

Here is another in our series on women drivers. The photos were supplied by WEBY (thanks mate).

Quiz of the Week(end)

Women Drivers II

Here is another in our series on women drivers. The photos were supplied by WEBY (thanks mate).