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January 15, 2004

Donate-A-Joke

[Ed: This joke is from Jake Ortman at Utterly Boring. If you enjoyed this joke, please consider donating a few dollars to his medical fund....]

Headlines of the Year
Headlines that were published in newspapers during 2003:

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS - Good thing an expert was able to explain what an ordinary person could only suspect.

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS - Now that ought to put a stop to it!

IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS - I bet that will keep them busy!

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH - That's the problem with unions - always finding some excuse to stop working.

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT - Great idea! This must have happened in Texas. It sounds drastic, but I suspect it would be effective.

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE - But at least it didn't extinguish it entirely.

IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES - There's a connection? You HAVE to be kidding...

COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES - New technology, lighter weight but stronger materials - where will it end?

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE - Hope it works.

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS - Hmmm, that little tidbit could come in handy....

CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY - Now THAT'S commitment.

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF - One or two of those and I bet the rest will stay in school!

HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS - Oh my. I wonder how big their lawyers are?

Posted by Ozguru at January 15, 2004 06:01 AM


Comments


Good ones...all of them!

Posted by: Da Goddess at January 15, 2004 06:01 AM

How about this one - came sometime back in a local newspaper - "Police crack down on drug dealers"

Posted by: Ravages at January 15, 2004 06:01 AM

Rampagin' doctors searchin' for Uranus Friday Funny™ will be comin' back tomorrow. However, if yore laughs won't wait until then, Ozguru has a listin' of Headlines from 2003 that should evoke a chuckle or two....

Posted by: Tiger: Raggin' & Rantin' at January 15, 2004 06:01 AM