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May 07, 2003

Search Engines

I am getting togther the replacement site stats package - replacing the custom tools with a standard package (awstats). In the process I have been exploring all of the information that is available (as opposed to just the bits I was interested in) and one of the possible windows shows all of the search engine queries that have led to your site. Some of these queries like 'Bored' and quite obvious but the number 2 hit in the list is 'i need a microsoft outlook expert in brisbane'. Six times someone has searched for that and found 'Bored on the Bus'? I think someone search engine must be due for an overhaul and serious tune-up. Ain't no outlook experts here and we ain't in Brisbane neither!

[Actually, just as a favour to whoever is searching: try deinstalling the software and installing something more stable and secure. For that matter use Linux, MacOS, Solaris - anything but M$ to host it. Even Groupwise on Novell would be better than Outlook. Then you won't need to find an Outlook expert in Brisbane! :wink].

Other amazing searches include (you realise that by publising this list, we will validate these searches):

  • Dilbert Team Leader - try dilbert.com or maybe theoffice
  • The Golf War - well we had some preliminary pictures before the war started where that bloke was holding up the 'Iron My Shirt' sign.
  • Golf of war II - see previous link
  • who discovered perversion - I don't know but we do link to Perversion Tracker which is a site that covers really bad software (like outlook), you could try them.
  • Is the anzus alliance relevant? - No. Saved you looking any further but it isn't a question that I ask myself very often.
  • expresso bus - Not sure about this one but drinking and driving is probably a bad idea - even if it is coffee.
  • roads rockets horses - Don't think we have talked about any of those topics. Certainly not in that combination. Do you think that professional help might be an idea?
  • uday hussein sex virgin - we are not that type of site, please take your interests somewhere else...
  • dilbert buy yourself a real computer - yup. We use that phrase, this is a valid hit. I can't show you the real cartoon but maybe you could ask Scott Adams for it. If you are really desperate, add a comment below and I will check which of my many dilbert books contains the cartoon.

    • Posted by Ozguru at May 7, 2003 07:05 AM

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