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October 22, 2003

Violence

There was a woman sitting on the bus opposite to me this morning. She had tried to use makeup to conceal a black left eye. And a bruised and cut lip. And what appeared to be bruises on her arm.

What can you say? How can you tell someone that not all men are like that?

Then I got thinking a bit more. Is it hypocritical for me to support corporal punishment (of children) but condemn whoever has hit this woman? Is it possible that some animal thought that he was applying "corporal" punishment?

You and I know that there is a world of difference between educating a child and hitting a grown adult but could one stem from the other? Should I rethink my attitude to corporal punishment? It would be easy to say that children "can't be reasoned with" but I can think of some adults that are in the same category :-)

I guess with an adult you have more choices in how you handle the situation (e.g. walk away) that are simply not available when dealing with your own children. Also, if you disallow "corporal punishment" what can you use as a deterrent? Some kids respond to a time-out. Or sitting in the corner. Or loss of privileges. Sometimes just your disappointment is enough to encourage them to mend your ways. For other kids, all that is just water off a duck's back. What options do you have then?

It is ironic that we can be so critical of our parents as we grow up and then suddenly we find that maybe they were coping better than we are when we have kids.

[If you would like to respond with ideas about how to raise children then you should either speak from personal experience as a child or as a parent yourself. Please do not give me Dr. Spock.]

Posted by Ozguru at October 22, 2003 08:10 AM

Comments

[Ed: Dr. Spock was an author who wrote extensively on the best way to raise children in the 1950s and 1960s. Some time later he had children of his own and recanted everything he had ever said. Giving advice on child rearing when you have no children is fraught with danger - what you say will come back to haunt you.]

Posted by: ozguru at October 22, 2003 08:10 AM

In NetNewsWire, this article appeared next to one at USS Clueless which has some interesting comments on battery/rape and the US judicial system. Well worth a read. I have often wondered whether women would have to pay child support if the father gets custody of the children in a divorce. After all, sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

Posted by: ozguru at October 22, 2003 08:10 AM

" After all, sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander." At least, it should be. I haven't noticed that it is; however, in your country or mine.

Posted by: Kathy K at October 22, 2003 08:10 AM

Tour de Blog - Chris Muir continues to deliver daily excellence over at Day by Day. - Dean has a link to a

Posted by: Paul Jané at October 22, 2003 08:10 AM