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July 13, 2003

Corporate Lessons

Theepan (who was given his notice today) send me a lovely powerpoint slide for the essential corporate lessons. I won't put the whole slide up due to download constraints but I will tell the three stories:

1. The Crow
A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared ... jumped on the rabbit ... and ate it.
Moral: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

2. The Turkey
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating more dung, he reached the second. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by the farmer ... who promptly shot him.
Moral: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

3. The Little Bird
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, the bull came along and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realise how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Moral 1: Not everyone who covers you in sh*t is your enemy.
Moral 2: Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
Moral 3: When you find yourself deep in sh*t, keep your mouth shut.

Posted by Ozguru at July 13, 2003 10:07 AM

Comments

Haha, that's hilarious. Sucks about your friend though :-( A friend of mine just got laid off a few weeks ago. He found out and an hour later, he was gone. :-(

Posted by: Glenn at July 13, 2003 10:07 AM

Yeah, the guys that went before Christmas just got a DCM on the Friday :angry. This time, most of them got four weeks. Still sucks to fire operation support staff and keep on project / strategy / IT architects when all project / strategy /IT architecting has been put on hold. To make matters worse most of the "agency-hire" are filling positions that we can't fill with permanent staff (wages aren't high enough).

Posted by: admin at July 13, 2003 10:07 AM

Hmm. Forgot to explain that DCM is a "Don't Come Monday" for those not familiar with the terminology. Sort of appropriate that yesterday's Dilbert desk calendar has the boss "awarding" t-shirts with targets on them (for the axe men to catch and dispose of).

Posted by: admin at July 13, 2003 10:07 AM